German Shooting Trousers incident avoided
I am accused of snoring, but it is a fallacy. I have never heard myself snoring and I never will. If is the case, which I do not accept, then the simple remedy of earplugs would seem to be the best way forward. I suggested such a course of action to that nice lady decorator but I am afraid that I cannot repeat what she said in response. In any event, any utterances I may make during sleep would only be expressions of love, and I admit I had the temerity (or is that stupidity) to suggest this but this defence did not work either…
Yesterday to St Donat for the Riviera Times Golf Cup, and just as importantly a champagne buffet. St Donat looks glorious in the sunshine as my picture shows. If only they had staged the Ryder Cup here than on the edge of a sodden and windswept slag heap in Wales of all places! Was there no civilised alternative? Payola must be alive and well.
St Donat golf course resplendent in early morning sunshine
The format was for a “Texas Scramble” which some may think is some kind of American hill descent or maybe has some sexual overtones, but it is just a form of golf where you play with a partner. . Given that the Riviera Times who were staging the event are German owned, there was a high percentage of German entrants in the tournament, which indeed was won by some Germans, so I was especially glad that Mick Pedley, he of the “German Shooting Trousers” oft mentioned in this column was not there, as I suspect there could have been an incident.
Lunch today will be taken at a fabulous villa in Mougins, owned by Simon Howes and his delectable Sarah. Simon’s penchant for a decent cigar, somewhat of a rarity in these health conscious times, is particularly welcome, and gives me the opportunity to stock up on Montecristo No 2’s for what I expect to be a smoke-filled and happy afternoon.
This week I must once again continue with my work with Currencies Direct, attending some seminars organised by The Spectrum Group at Cap D’ail near Monaco and St Endreol over in the Var. These worthy if slightly boring events are of particular use to people who have just moved into the area or are in any way concerned about tax, investment, health insurance and the general functioning of the burgeoning French beaurocracy. If any one wants to come check out www.mikelorimer.com for full details, I think it is free to attend. I shall be there to advise anyone who still uses their bank to move foreign exchange, to convert to Currencies Direct. Indeed, I think convert is a good word to use here, as I do feel evangelical about it, particularly as I write this on Sunday morning. Jeff Potter will be pleased!
Apparently Glastonbury tickets go on sale today and I have seen a website where one can stay in four-poster grandeur with a butler, full backstage access, Michelin star chef providing food for the entire festival and a 24 hour bar. And do you know what? I fancy doing it again now armed with tis knowledge, just got to find the £3500 per person to pay for it!
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Golf wind-up shocker
Another view of Villefranche from our terrace on Friday morning
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Facebook Face Off
A nice view to wake up to of the bay at Villefranche Sur Mer
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Estate Agents Challenge Revealed
Senior HSBC executive loosens up before work
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Wood you believe it?
That’s it, booked. I am off to Brisbane for the First Test against Australia which starts at the GABBA on 25th November. Having mentioned it to just about every cricket fan I know, it looks like I am going to be Billy No Mates, and am going alone.
Mr Surrey aka Mark Gurdon, has arrived in the Cote d’Azur and has already finalised the minutiae of all his social engagements. I see from the listing that I have been emailed, exactly where I am expected to be and at what time. I suspect the wingco’s agenda has some very different meeting times on it though, as Mr Surrey would have to off set Spensley Time, which as we know is a unit of time approximating to 7 minutes, the minimum time (there is no maximum time) of his habitual lateness.
I was determined to stay away from sheep today but the problem I often have is what picture to use on the blog, and at this moment my entire stock of photographs ready for consideration have sheep connotations, so I apologise in advance for today’s picture below. However, in mitigation, and to try to put all you sheep lovers’ aspirations onto a more normal footing, I feel justified. Sheep are for eating!
Salted sheep, lovely, They should also be feeding them mint so they can be flavoured from the inside
I am feeling a little unwanted today as I have not, since the day before yesterday, received an expression of love for me from any brooding magnificent latin rugby playing chaps. I had begun to enjoy the attention. And so when the invitation from Mr and Mrs Surrey, who had just flown in from err.. Surrey, came early evening to do some quiet impromptu “square bashing”, then despite all my determination to maintain temperance, the sadness of failing to receive similar love notes, tipped the balance and I confess I weakened and accepted.
Just a pint of Guinness, followed by a pizza and a couple of glasses of wine. Some amusement was expressed at the exchange of emails between myself and the wingco over tennis and some logs that I had kindly taken away from him. Regular readers will know that the wingco claims not to have my email address. Here is the text of my last email to him, responding to an email he had sent me. I feel I can print his email to me for two reasons; because it clearly did not arrive, and because he refuses to read this column. How could it be received if he does not my email address?
His email;
” I am prepared to consider shaving something of the price. I’d have to be barking to palm it off for much less, but you’ve clearly twigged that by now. Ivy sily got enough for another load here. I know that you can be indeciduous at times, and that you consider me to be ever green, or even thick as a plank, but anyway we won’t go over that old chestnut again..
You maple another full trailer up my drive and take alder logs I have, as long as you cedar way to paying me for them.
I hope you don’t mind my plane speaking, but I think you’ll agree it’s only fir.
My response
“Although I havent heard from Yew, I hope you don’t think I have tried to Balsa my log store at your expense or else I suspect I will not be Poplar
I am afraid the quality of the logs I Teak is rather low, in fact I think one could say Dogswood, giving out a lot of Black Ash, in fact I did not want to Lumber you with them. Douglas Fir, my Gum chewing friend from Canada understands logs, in fact he Redwood at Aspen and despite many Silver Birchings, still holds an Olive branch for Eucalyptus College in Sandalwood despite standards there which Willower over time. Butternut dwell on this subject which hurts me a great deal, I am in Mahogany but walnut show it. I will get the hickory shafted tennis racket out tonight, and hope we will take the Elm on Thursday and make at least one person with doubtful northern ancestry unhappy. I love to see the Scots Pine.
Small Mog (mahogany abbrev.)”
Of course MOG stands for mustachioed old gits, the name of the wingco’s and I tennis partnership. I think my writing style may be a bit wooden
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
The tender side of rugby
As Rolf Harris might say "Can you see what it is yet?"
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Woolley Jumpers anyone?
Find your perfect baartner
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Soweto necklace in Holland Park?
So we leave London, bathed yesterday morning in beautiful sunshine, but only 9 degrees Celsius, I guess one always must expect to compromise.
In the same way, Currencies Direct delegate Alan Monks, who got such a slating for his sheep fetish yesterday, tells us he compromised in his own way on his luggage allowance when flying in for The France Show. Normal people, if they discover that their suitcase or overnight bag is too big for the Easyjet hand luggage limits, go and buy new luggage, but not Alan, he decided that if he sawed off the wheels and the feet of his existing bag, it would fit perfectly into the Easyjet racks.
This may seem to some, and I admit that I number myself amongst those, to be a rather radical if an entirely sensible solution if, and its a big if, you never have to walk very far carrying your bag. Alan ended up walking a mile upon arrival due to easybus dropping him at the wrong hotel. So, Alan a new small suitcase for the next convention? Actually, knowing him better now, I suspect he will try to weld the wheels and feet back on for the next trip!
Searching for a morning constitutional took me to nearby Holland Park, which was a stunning surprise. Despite living reasonably nearby for 10 years in the 1980’s I had never been to it It has nice wild areas, squirrels, superb gardens, lakes, all helped by a rare bright day, as my first picture today shows;
Dahlias in the Dutch Garden at Holland Park
and then I found this;
How pretty, a Soweto necklace in a garden setting
No, I don’t know either, interesting perhaps, but as a decoration? I would be happy to hear from anyone who has any ideas.
Of course the sun disappeared by lunchtime, but by that time, having lunched on fish and chips in a pub, we were on our way back to Gatwick to escape back to civilisation in France, and to find out the extent of the damage wreaked by those lovely teenage children, who incidentally were all that nice lady plasterers idea.
Other than needing a pantechnican to remove all the rubbish, and a crowbar to extract the tangled mess that was every single pan in the house out of the dishwasher, I think our subterfuge of telling them we were coming home Friday Night rather than Saturday worked, however suspicions were raised, not least from my son, who could not really understand why, if we flew into Nice on Friday evening, it had taken a full 24 hours to do the 20 minutes to get home. Luckily, neither sprogs read this blog so our secret should be safe.
There are now no social engagements until Wednesday so I am determined to stay on the wagon for as long as possible, after tomorrow obviously as its Sunday and it would be rude not to. If I was religious I would consider that god gave us Sundays off so we can drink rose by the pool. This should illicit a response from at least one old bible thumping pal!
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Currencies Direct delegate in mini baaaa shock
I thought I looked OK despite the fact that I felt lousy, but after an hour in the France Show at Olympia, I was instructed by Pippa the French Business Development Manager for Currencies Direct, to return to the hotel and sleep and to come back in the afternoon when hopefully I had recovered somewhat. I think she thought my demeanour was not doing the stand any favours.
Before leaving however, I heard that the odd guy in the shorts who the resident plasterer had befriended and whose picture I featured in yesterday column was later arrested. I felt the police should have been arresting a few others. Indeed, I would not have been surprised to have been bailing out that nice lady decorator from the cells herself this morning,
Two hours kip, a couple of large bloody mary’s and I was up and running again. My planned picture today however is from the big night before last with the Irish guy, featured in yesterdays column.
I think he is a little tired
This was taken before Janey from Friend In France used up most of her red lipstick decorating the poor mans face. Shame, I would have paid money for a photo of that!.
The absurdly named Wagamama was the subject of the attentions of the few delegates still capable of socialising last evening, sadly with senior management and therefore the expense accounts perhaps not open to us, more measured financial arrangements needed to be brought to bear.
In conversation, I mention that one of my golfing pals was unwise enough to reveal that he likes sheep, at which point fellow Currencies Direct delegate Alan Monks, without a trace of embarrassment, one might say without any element of sheepishness, reveals that he once had a pet sheep, Jessica, and confounded the revelation by going on to tell us how she featured in Lancashire Evening Post, and used to go to pubs with him. He also mentioned other activities that they undertook together such as walking and taking her in his car for a dip….I know, that has mind boggling connotations, so at this point I confess I did not want to hear any more.
Regular followers of this column will know how alarmed I became when golfing pal Steve Weston announced that he had a favourite sheep. Clearly sheep fetishism is less rare than I thought.
Much hilarity followed with all the sheep gags, and Archie the Scottish crooner singing “Hello Dolly”, but nearly all the jokes were rather too graphic or frankly disgusting to repeat here, whilst at the same time providing a great deal of entertainment.
Alan Monks "wearing" a relative of Jessica
Of the lines I can repeat, I liked the reference to baby sheep with Alan being asked if he had in his room a mini baaaa…..and his unfortunate reference to taking Jessica walking in Wellington boots (uncertainty reigned over which of them was wearing the Wellingtons) and one delegates Sheepskin jacket (picture below) will never be the same again.
He even drew a picture of her which I feature here.
A picture of Jessica. Note the heart and position of the word cheeky
The ploy of not telling our children we were not coming back last night appears to have failed. Either someone snitched and they discovered our subterfuge, or they are just brazen, but in a late night conversation, I could hear the unmistakable sounds of a gathering. I do not know where they get this trait from.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Currencies delegates in drinking shock
I had forgotten the joys of travelling at rush hour in Central London, over 1 hour to travel just 5 miles on the tube. Sardines have more space and are slightly less smelly than the trip from Earls Court to Moorgate. I am used to air-conditioned trains with plugs to charge your phone or laptop. The third world lives in London. So a good day of high level currencies discussions, was rewarded with several pints of London Pride at some city pub called the Old Morgans Head or something before we adjourned to Zizzi’s restaurant in the Cromwell Road, an Italian establishment.
That nice lady decorator has some rather awkward explaining to do, in my opinion. On a gradual scale, as the alcohol she consumes takes effect, exponentially she becomes more friendly with strangers, inviting then to join our select group of Currencies Direct experts. After the 4th such addition, an Irish man who was so boorish and so drunk that he was being held up by his friend, I suddenly remembered that we were to meet for breakfast at 8am this morning and retired to my penthouse (well second floor room with a view of a brick wall). That was at 1am after we had left the restaurant (in the rain that I predicted) where the first of the sad unfortunates that she found had joined us, and we adjourned to the bar of the hotel kindly provided by our sponsors, Currencies Direct, in the Cromwell Rd.
Man wearing shorts in a restaurant in London. You know it is going to be bad news
Whilst sensibly, I retired to bed, some others whom I shall not name (but Pippa Maile, Alan Monks and Janey from Friend In France may well wish to hang their heads in shame this morning), including that nice lady decorator continued celebrating the world of currencies until about 3am.
Doubtless this morning or more likely throughout the day, I will be regaled by those present with stories of the resident plasterers bad behaviour, flirting with men, knocking things over, losing her phone, falling over and the like this morning when the jaded party will reconvene. How do I know this? Because these events always occur when she gets on a mission, these are the normal results, I am in trepidation about what other faux pas she will have visited on herself.
Today to the aptly named, for me, The France Show at Earls Court. It is a nice gesture for Currencies Direct to have the celebration of all things french named after me and in jest I ask the beautiful and serene Zoe Duncombe, our leader, if I shall be required to sign autographs. She also has a laser beam stare which she is able to set to stun at the drop of a hat or the utterance of something she considered stupid, so stunned as I was, I went outside to sit on the naughty step, where I am given a nice cigar by fellow delegate Archie, a Scotsman who unaccountably spent most of the evening singing old Irish songs.
I fear today will be a long one and may require a siesta before whatever city treat awaits me this evening.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Strike for more strikes
Valbonne Square, where the art of "square bashing" began
The French love a strike and so, I now hear, my trip to the UK may be in jeopardy. A general strike on Thursday with a wave of other strikes today could yet rescue me from the elements, whilst denying me the London Pride I have been focussing on to keep up my spirits. I think they are striking because it has been so long between strikes they want to protest that there should be more strikes, or less time between strikes . It also give the locals a chance for a march and a bit of a demonstrate. These are largely good natured events down here, which make up part of the French social calender, I just wish they went to the pub more often instead.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Teenage Rampage? not if I can help it
One day Lily, one day...
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Evil Cocker to get arse smacked with banjo
The evil cocker spaniel Banjo all 38 kilos of him has finally gone too far. Some cocker – I told that nice lady decorator they had sold her a pup, but I didn’t know he was going to be that big a pup in both senses of the word – It was her who foisted this appalling animal upon us in one of her most disastrous decisions but he may at last be getting his come uppence. Regular readers will know that Banjo is seemingly only able to defecate within 2 metres of my hammock, despite having a walk of an hour at least, will steal cheese boards from high places, rip the bin to shreds, bark at lawnmowers and generally make my life and many other lives a misery.
An early morning walk with Banjo, trying to hold on to last nights dinner so he can deposit by my hammock
He has developed a habit of chasing after the very few cars going past our drive way, but the night before last he surpassed himself, actually biting the leg of the pizza delivery man as he tried to speed away on his motor bike. What was good is that his despicable act (the pizza man will probably refuse to deliver here again) is that it was witnessed by our friends and as such, his behaviour could not be allowed to go unpunished as it is when only I or another family member witnesses his other disgraceful faux pas. I am afraid that I seized that moment to suggest publicly that we get him a correctional collar, and that suggestion was accepted in front of witnesses. I have already begun to search the internet for one that I hope can stun him like a tazer if he does anything naughty. I would of course need my own separate control and would lay in a full set of high power batteries as I suspect it will be in constant use, by me at least. I can’t wait, and am happy to pay the full cost, oh boy this is going to be payback time! I am going to find the most powerful one available. What goes around comes around. Instant Karma!
And so to the Vignale tennis club barbecue, part of the reward for trouncing our first opponents on the very first tennis tournament that the moustached old gits have ever played in. We arrived at the appointed time, but it was deadly, so we adjourned to the Auberge St Donat for a couple of Leffe’s to get us warmed up. Returning later to a typical half-cooked Vignale offering which was so enthralling that we were the last to be hustled out at just before 10.30. This forced us to open a bottle on the terrace and search for Jupiter which apparently is visible in the sky from this area at present.
Last night we received an invitation to a 10 km run in Cannes, however my soft top is loaned out for the weekend and I was not sure a 10 km run in the camper was such a good idea, then came the bombshell, it meant actually running! Lucy from red radish is a regular runner and is taking part in some event this morning. This necessitated what I call the “shrapnel” defence. This involves a tall story about how I cannot run because an old piece of shrapnel in my leg, an old war wound, moves about if I run too far, so we will go and cheer her on, and perhaps partake of a celebratory glass of wine with her and Wayne from FR2day
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
Purple Reigns
When one is looking for inspiration for this column, Cafe Latin in Valbonne is perfect to recharge the old gossip banks. It is a Friday morning ritual, known as church, often with quite a large number of worshippers although the only worshipping I see going on is the worship of coffee. Yesterday morning I went to church gathering for the first time in ages and met the delectable Helen Humphries taking a few well-earned days rest from her demanding job as a presenter on QVC, the shopping channel, and her doubtfully attired husband Neil Humphries (yes he was free), a long time devotee of this column, resplendent in purple and mauve.
Now call me old-fashioned, but personally, I believe, although as he is a Magistrate, so I have to be careful with my wording here, that you have to be one of two things to wear such bizarre colours as a man, either far too much in touch with your feminine side to be good for you, or gay, or both.
Nancy Allen, who was present at church suggested that perhaps he was Grand Poo Bar of some weird religious sect worshipping the colour purple, just like his purpleness himself The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (who enjoyed his only ever No. 1 record in the UK “The Most Beautiful Girl In The World” courtesy of my good self). I publish here the picture I took of him (Neil, not Prince) yesterday morning, and would draw particular attention to his belt, so you decide. The Canadians recently told him he looked err… very European in his quaint cardigans. One final note, as a martial arts expert he admitted to be interested in getting involved in cage fighting (!). I just wondered who he would like in the cage with him! easy tiger!
I think that is a sheep on his belt. Steve Weston, can you confirm?
Peter Lynn send me a scurrilous note saying that the pope refused to kiss the tarmac at Edinburgh airport when he flew in recently because it was more than 8 years old, Peter, you should be ashamed. I have said I will only publish stories that I think are funny in this blog and that’s not funny.
Last night was planned to be quiet, until it was just getting past 6pm, beer o clock, or the gin and toniclock as it is could become known in the future in this household, when my Currencies Direct French Ayotollah, Pippa swept up the drive clutching bottles of rose. Then this morning I thought the Merc had been stolen, until I remembered. After lending my car to the wingco in summer and finding out he drove to Barcelona, not once but twice, I made a resolution not to lend my car again, but gradually after helping her and Gerald, her husband drink the gifts, I found myself becoming ever more sympathetic to his plight of being unable to hire a car in the area due to the Cannes Boat Show. He has to go to an ill relatives funeral or wedding or something, I forget exactly, so the car is loaned out for the weekend which luckily I remembered before calling the gendarmes.
Chris France
Buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
Rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassedecouleur.com
Rent a villa in Cote D’Azur? www.myperfectvilla.com
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