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The Eagle nearly landed

January 20, 2014

The Reverend Jeff will be delighted. I think there is a god. We had walked nearly 5 miles from gods waiting room, our hotel, inhabited almost exclusively by the living dead, to Los Christianos along the coast from Costa Adeje in Tenerife which is our home for a week. I had expected thereafter to be tormented by hours of haggling on the famous market, but it could not be found, or it was not happening yesterday, or possibly it was not Sunday at all which all the guides to which as the day it is supposed to happen.

Thus we were forced to seek a beer and some lunch at a beach restaurant instead or quartering a huge market where I would become increasingly agitated, bored and broke. This is a result of the highest quality from my perspective. We had missed breakfast by waking up too late, perhaps due to the quantity of Gran Reserva that we had sent to its grave the day before. It was past 11 before I remembered that we had a tentative plan to meet some chaps we had met the night before for breakfast and perhaps some tennis, so missed both.

Then it rained. Only a shower but that was not what I had paid for and if I could have found the Thomsons (there is no pee in Thomsons) rep I would have remonstrated and be looking for a refund. Taxing back to the dead centre of town, our resort, there was only one realistic option; find a beach bar and purchase a bottle of wine and, oh, drink it. If one cannot get a decent Bordeaux then a Rioja Grand Reserva will suffice and so it did, until the rain stopped and the sun returned mid afternoon.

sign in tenerife

There is a god, and you can go and see his son

Returning to the graveyard masquerading as an hotel, we popped up to the pool bar for a late afternoon, some might say, a sunset cap, and whilst I considered the benefits of Currencies Direct, the charming barmaid asked if That Nice Lady Decorator would like a mohito. When she asked the bar tender how he knew he suggested in his Spanish version of English, she suggested that she could read the word mohito etched on her forehead.

Whilst people watching in the bar as the sun went down, we noticed an elderly German couple having a row at the bar. That Nice Lady Decorator, who had joined them in the lift, on some errand that about which I seemingly did not need to know, pronounced that the lady was suffering from Altzheimers and was at that stage of lashing out. She suggested that perhaps it was their last holiday together before she was put in a home, and, as she said it, I wondered, out loud as it happens, if that was also my fate? She said nothing but I did not form a good impression of that knowing smile.

Last night That Nice Lady Decorator was quite interested in seeing the Eagle Show, the scheduled entertainment at the hotel of the crusties. I think she had Hotel California in mind, maybe Desparado, but I had joked with her earlier that it was the Eagle Show, not the Eagles show, plural, and that it probably involves birds. As I say, it was a joke, but it turned out to be a joke in bad taste because, from the 30 seconds I saw, there was a large bird on a lead. I do mean of he feathered variety. I think, dear reader, that you will have guessed that we did but stay to witness the show, heading out to the Blue Cactus bar to hear a pub band play some proper music. Once again they did “Comfortably Numb”, the Pink Floyd song, which seems to say so much about our hotel, the clientele and the cerebral acuity of the residents.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. January 20, 2014 9:56 am

    “… they did “Comfortably Numb”, the Pink Floyd song, which seems to say so much about our hotel, the clientele and the cerebral acuity of the residents.”

    And, to some extent, about this blog and its use and abuse of English !

    Like

  2. Rev. Jeff. permalink
    January 20, 2014 11:34 am

    Hate to agree with you Betty but today’s blog did take some unraveling in places. Still, some much needed brain exercise early in the day !

    Betty is right, and then some,
    The grammar today’s a bit rum,
    Chris we earnestly plead,
    You take time to proof read,
    What you write, then we’ll know you’re not dumb !!

    Helen, this is beginning to sound like the longest holiday known to man !! Sounds like you’re having a wonderful time though !!

    Like

    • Patrick permalink
      January 20, 2014 12:39 pm

      A-a-a-a-men !

      Like

  3. Helen permalink
    January 20, 2014 5:14 pm

    Rev . There’s an expression ” you can’t have it all ” I want to know , why not ???:)
    Hahaha.

    Like

  4. Helen permalink
    January 20, 2014 5:32 pm

    Chris never will join the old timers
    who just lie around on recliners
    he’s too busy forking , & talking & walking
    to ever have room for Alzheimers .:)

    Like

  5. Helen permalink
    January 20, 2014 5:42 pm

    Or should that be forking, torking, warking ?

    Like

  6. Rev. Jeff. permalink
    January 20, 2014 6:51 pm

    You do sound like you’re having a ball Helen and I see no reason why you can’t have it all !
    GO FOR IT GIRL…as they were wont to say in Sex and the City. You could add a bit of porking to your list…Chris will know !!

    Like

  7. Helen permalink
    January 20, 2014 7:03 pm

    L.o.l can’t beat you on the rhyming rev……

    Like

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