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Clint Eastwood or Jimmy Clithero?

March 13, 2014

We took the hire car, a particularly nasty but almost brand new Suzuki Swift (obviously the Suzuki designers were having a laugh because it is anything but swift) over to the Sunbury Plantation House somewhere in the centre of the island of Barbados. That Nice Lady Decorator had set her sights on seeing the interior of this house, that has recently been restored after being badly damaged by fire, after we had seen the exterior a few days before. I have to say that my enthusiasm for going to see old relics (something I had done twice in previous days at the Kensington Oval where England were being soundly beaten) was not very well developed, but as Brainy Wag, the beautiful and saintly Rowena, wife of Steve “trouble up t ‘mill” Jackson also wanted to see some old relics – something that I suggested she may be able to see most evenings in the intimacy of their bedroom – and as I was the only person insured to drive, I was chauffeur for the day.

Eventually the girls tired of the collection of old junk at the house and we decided to drive on to show them Foul Bay, Crane Beach, Harrismith Bay (or Cave Beach as it is sometimes known) and then on to Bathsheba, where a light lunch was taken at the wonderful Round House.

barbados beach

Foul Bay, not so foul

I was wearing my rather dashing Panama hat and after Trouble had has his usual jolly jape about flat caps being the only acceptable head wear, he expressed the opinion that, should he ever have occasion to wear a proper hat, it might be in he style of Clint Eastwood, in a spaghetti western . He objected most strongly to my response that him wearing a hat would look more like Jimmy Clithero, not in the grounds of sartorial good taste, but because Mr Clithero was from Lancashire, and as a Yorkshire lad he really did not want to be associate with anything from the “wrong” side of the Pennines.

As we sat enjoying some fabulous coconut prawns and gougons of flying fish, Brainy Wag noticed that sitting below us was one of the villains of the second defeat of England by West Indies in the 20:20 cricket tournament, one Tim Bresnan, coincidentally vilified in this column yesterday. I invited Trouble to stand up and chant “Yorkshire, Yorkshire” as he had done the day before at the Kensington Oval, when Mr Bresnan, a Yorkshire born player, had actually done something notable. For some reason he declined, and as a result, I was denied an opening to discuss his foreign currency needs and how he could benefit from opening an account with Currencies Direct.

Last night was the first of our big nights out. We went to Cin Cin, a modern restaurant with a terrace from where you can look down on the waves breaking on the beach while you eat. The food was good, the service attentive but for me the whole experience lacking something. Perhaps it was charm. Being so modern, especially in the lounge area, seemed to dampen spirits rather than raise them. Anyway, a few glasses of wine and we were quickly back in our stride. Rachael “Lady in Waiting” Surtees was talking about the appearance at my birthday of Wild Willy Barrett. She is a real fan to the extent that she announced loudly in the restaurant, during one of those curious quiet moments that sometimes happen, that she loved Willy. I have to report that there were a few surreptitious looks in her direction and an elderly chap close by dropped his fork in shock. It was OK though, the waiter brought me another.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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14 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    March 13, 2014 2:41 pm

    Sorry not here yesterday and everybody else was absent as well by the look of it !

    An Irish chap dining his wife,
    Gave me the shock of my life.
    His cutlery dropped,
    Out from his mouth popped,
    “O’ive dropped me fork’n Knife” !!

    Ah the old ones are the best !!

    Hope we do better in the T20 later.

    Like

    • March 13, 2014 3:12 pm

      Is that the dog that has no nose?

      http://www.valbonnenews.com

      >

      Like

  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    March 13, 2014 4:35 pm

    Certainly smells as ancient !!

    Like

  3. howzaaat permalink
    March 13, 2014 4:58 pm

    “Certainly smells as ancient !!”

    This might indicate the Rev’s quite high church –
    “Bells and smells” – if I’m right in my research :
    Bells to observe, when tolled,
    All the Offices – cold,
    While avoiding that damned thurible’s lurch.

    Like

    • March 13, 2014 10:29 pm

      Thurible?

      http://www.valbonnenews.com

      >

      Like

      • howzaaat permalink
        March 14, 2014 9:51 am

        Yes, an incense burner (hence “smells”), more commonly known in some less respectful, non-RC circles as a smoking handbag !

        Like

      • March 14, 2014 2:14 pm

        I do so like it when this column educates!

        Sent from my iPhone

        >

        Like

  4. helen permalink
    March 13, 2014 6:39 pm

    Rachael, is just mad for Wild Willy
    Mr . Surtees , he thinks” that’s just silly”
    Then Chris dropped his fork
    & the wine popped its cork
    as he gazed at this mighty fine filly .

    Like

  5. Rev. Jeff permalink
    March 13, 2014 10:00 pm

    Great stuff fellow limerists and certainly more fun than watching Enland’s frenzied attempts to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in the final T20.

    Ninety nine for no wicket after ten overs they limp to just over 160 and that after Jordan came in and scored 27 off nine balls at the death. Most of the top order were simply clueless.

    West Indies, with no Chris Gale were just over 20 for three after nearly 5 overs. On a pitch where taking the pace off the ball paid handsome dividends we allowed the vastly overrated Dernbach to bowl his wonderful assortment of short pitched deliveries which were dispatched with monotonous regularity all over the ground.

    With two overs to go and still needing 34 to win we allowed the inexperienced Jordan to bowl his short fast paced deliveries.

    The dreadful Dernbach bowled the last over with 17 still needed. Everyone in the universe was screaming ‘ pitch it up into the blockhole’, but no, moronic Jade decided to bowl even shorter. To cap it off West Indies needed 7 from the last ball so Mr. Talent bowled a wide !!
    6 needed so he bowls another, even wider delivery, which the batsman luckily reached for and played to a fielder !! Had he not played it they would have simply needed a 6 off the last ball to win.

    What was truly inexplicable is that they had Ali in the team who is a very reliable spinner and he didn’t even get an over !

    I don’t know if the England players are just thick or useless; perhaps both !!

    Sorry to bore you Helen but Howzaaat might appreciate my anguished report !!

    Like

    • helen permalink
      March 13, 2014 10:15 pm

      L.O.L. it’s all foreign to me Rev. But I wish you chaps the best of British …..

      Like

    • March 13, 2014 10:53 pm

      Steve Trouble up t’mill says you we absolutely right!!

      http://www.valbonnenews.com

      >

      Like

    • howzaaat permalink
      March 14, 2014 9:54 am

      Very many thanks, Rev., for your much valued feedback — I must say, it doesn’t sound as though England have much clue about Twenty/20 cricket any more ! Bring back KP, is what I say !

      Like

      • March 14, 2014 1:20 pm

        They can6, I have his bat!

        Like

      • March 14, 2014 1:21 pm

        Can’t, obviously

        Like

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