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Prepare for tempest, ark spotted in Chichester

October 27, 2013

I was half way around my 4 mile morning hike, thinking about the virtues of opening an account with Currencies Direct, when the rains came. Stupidly, with it being sunny when I set off, I had assumed, well, hoped that it would remain dry for an hour at least. I was wrong.

After drying out slightly, I told That Nice Lady Decorator that there were some errands I needed to run in the motorised scooter capital of the world, Littlehampton, or LA as it is known locally. I had dressed down for the occasion, with hoody, jogging trousers and waterproof wind cheater, not having a shell suit. I also donned some gloves so that I could hide the fact that I only had five digits on each hand, a rarity in LA, but there was no way to make my eyes closer together or my forehead higher, and although I did try to dribble a bit, something at which I am quite adept, I am sure that upon closer inspection, the locals would have known I was not local.

Anyway, on the way, we went to Clymping beach in order to empty the canine catastrophe, and, having walked earlier, I stayed in the car whilst That Nice Lady Decorator enjoyed a stroll in a squall or monstrous proportions. I told myself when we left France for the winter that I was prepared for this kind of weather but frankly I am not. It is time to look at the holiday brochures and reconsider Brisbane for the First Ashes Test between Australia and England later next month.

old boat

The ark, spotted in Chichester

I took this picture of what may be the original ark on the canal at Chichester. I am not sure it will be seaworthy after all this time, but when the rains come again tonight, with the accompanying hurricane, I know where to go if it does not look like stopping.

A report reached me yesterday about a German study that had found that a man watching girls breast for 10 minutes a day was equivalent to 30 minutes of exercise in the gym, and reduced by 50% the chances of a heart attack or stroke. Now I am always one for a new fad health kick, and That Nice Lady Decorator is constantly searching for techniques that will keep us young and fit, so I think I will suggest it to her. Not immediately you understand, one has to pick the right moment, when she is mellow and receptive. It must happen some time, surely?

Lunch then, which was to have been based around a dog walk to a pub, became lunch without dogs due to the pesky weather. A pint of London Pride was taken at The Swan Hotel, a brief drying off spell, on the way for a couple of pints at the Kings Arms and then a last go at Boco Nuevo at The White Hart next door. I say last because the restaurant will close today and so far, nothing is a set to replace it. Any budding restaurateurs in Arundel? The pub and we need you,

At the Kings Arms we met up with Colin The Pirate and Sandra the sultry goddess, but they declined to join us for lunch due to the Pirate struggling with some painful dentistry work, probably from biting too many pieces of eight. However, we were joined by flame haired siren Carolyn and proceeded to restore all the damage done to my corpulent frame over the past three days of diet and restraint. There will be more lack of restraint today as well, as we are meeting mr Clipboard and his gorgeous wife Ashley at Chiddingfold. Must go now, cannot afford to be late with old Clipboard on the prowl.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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4 Comments leave one →
  1. howzaaat permalink
    October 27, 2013 12:02 pm

    A cricket match, an uncovered breast –
    Both are sources of Chris’s real zest.
    Though he’s now grown quite old,
    They’re still joys to behold,
    But he can’t decide which he likes best !

    Like

    • October 27, 2013 12:09 pm

      How true!

      Like

  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    October 27, 2013 12:30 pm

    Good one H. Today’s blag threw up some tempting possibilities especially with this latest concept for keeping ‘fit ‘! But in view of the impending tempest here’s one that even Betty can’t take offence at.

    Said Noah ” Oh what shall I do ?
    I’ve run out of planks ;Chris can you
    Pop down to the store
    And buy me some more ?
    The size ? Oh I think two by two” !!

    Like

    • October 28, 2013 4:16 am

      Very good,

      Like

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