Diet in snow job

It was all going so well. A light breakfast, no lunch and enough calories left for some meagre gruel for dinner. Exercise has been taken in the form of a stiff walk through the snow on the South Downs through the quintessentially beautiful Sussex countryside and we had returned, rosy-cheeked (as opposed to rose-cheeked, as in the wine, later this week when we get to France), and ready to get those Currencies Direct wheels of commerce turning. All was well, even the sun came out for a couple of hours, and then bang, the whole healthy and dietary good work began to unravel. That Nice Lady Decorator suggested a pint early doors at the George and Dragon at Houghton, and the gaping chasm if temptation opened up before me.

Houghton Woods in the spring snow

Perhaps we could have got away with one pint, but the pub was having its regular Tuesday “pie and a pint for £10 night”. She said “shall we…” and with me hungry enough to chew off my own arm, the inevitable occurred. It was a very nice pie, beef in a red wine sauce covered, not in pastry, but by sliced roasted potatoes and served with a selection of fresh vegetables. The vegetables alone would probably taken me through the 600 calorie limit, whereas the pie one would have accounted for more than that in its own, so giving up, we went home and opened a nice bottle of Maclaren Vale Australian red.

I think the charge of the light brigade was based in 600 riding into a trap, and a writer of little ability might try to make some connection between this and the failed 600 calorie a day diet, but you all know me better than that. Yes, the whole enterprise was doomed the moment the suggestion to go to the pub was made. Oops, did I make the connection?

I don’t want people to think I am a bit of a globe-trotter but today I have errands to run in Arundel, Littlehampton, Rustington, and Worthing, all to tidy up some loose ends before setting off to France for that launch. Oh, did I forget to mention the publication on Friday of my new book The Valbonne Monologues at Cafe Latin in Valbonne? All five sponsors of the event, ABK Properties, the lovely Marina Kulik, Blue Water Yachting, Côte d’Azur Villa Rentals and of course Currencies Direct, would be disappointed if I did not remind my less than completely adoring public about the momentous event due to take place at the end of this week.

I have packed my launch shoes, bought before Christmas, the originally intended publication date, cruelly delayed by some pixie problem with the full colour photographs included throughout. I am certain that they are real crocodile and that, as the salesman told me, they are almost unique (!) because you see very few crocodiles in that colour. Indeed, I think David Attenborough would be fascinated by them.

Tomorrow will be taken up with travelling, but I would hope and expect to have a trot around the hills this morning on what is left of yesterday’s snow. I was reminded yesterday as the blizzard of the night before abated, that it was precisely a week earlier when I had donned shorts and walked across Arundel Park for lunch, and even sat on an outside terrace for a pint. A week in English weather is like a week in politics. Everything can change very quickly. However, I shall not change. Oh no, I have been droning on every day for three years and have no plans to stop.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News