Winter returns to Arundel

The weather gods were kind. They must have read The Valbonne Monologues and come to the obvious conclusion that the world, and particularly the south of France is ready for, and deserves to be able, to buy copies from next Friday at Cafe Latin in Valbonne.

I reached this conclusion because the courier collecting them for shipment, arrived before the snow closed in and started creating the usual havoc on the roads. There will always be an issue in England when any of the white stuff is threatened, but as long as the consignment gets across the channel tonight, even if there is 3 feet of snow in France they will be delivered on time. This is because the continentals know how to deal with snow, even if it is the wrong type.

So now it can snow all it likes and I for one love it. The whole countryside is softened and improved by a dose if gods dandruff. I can take the cold if it is not raining or foggy. I took a picture in my early afternoon walk (the morning was spent worrying about whether the courier would beat the weather, and finalising a Currencies Direct account opening for a soon to be happy new customer), but took this one last night in Arundel itself.

Tarrent Street covered in snow

Having stocked up over the weekend with enough food and drink for a week, I was quite glad that yesterday was designated another 600 calorie day. In fact I struggled to get it up that high (OK, that is a bit if an exaggeration) but am looking forward to a hearty breakfast this morning and then Quiz night at the Kings Arms this evening, assuming we can battle through the snow.

Now I am not a great lover of poetry, in fact I am often prone to giving the Reverend Jeff a hard time about his regular poetical contributions to the “newspaper” (sic) the Daily Mail. I don’t dislike it as an art form as much as I detest all modern art, but it is close. So why the comments section of this column is suddenly a sounding off forum for budding poets defeats me. My favourite poem would be; roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, others don’t.

So just two more days to go before we fly off to France. I have heard alarming reports of inclement weather in Valbonne but I know that must be a fallacy. I shall expect sunny and settled conditions, especially for the proposed tennis next Monday. I have also been the victim of some similarly inclement comments from The Wingco and Mr Clipboard, both of whom are roundly abused in my new book. I thought when the Wingco used the word accelerant, he meant excellent, but it turns out that he was discussing ways to burning a hardback copy of The Valbonne Monologues. Regular long-term readers will be aware of an unsavoury incident shortly after the publication if my first book, Summer In the Côte d’Azur. It was at the Auberge at Donat where I shall be next Monday for lunch. A copy was sold to Mr Clipboard who proceeded to set fire to it, and then to supply some of the unburned pages to other diners, and to exhort them to make paper planes out of the remaining pages. However, a sale is a sale. Jealous public schoolboys do love this little japes, however I was less pleased to have my beard forcibly removed at the same lunch.

Anyway, enough of that, this publication will no double be a similar “hot” topic from Friday onwards. It is something with which I, as a budding celebrity, need to take in my stride.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News