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Sun, sea and Essex

January 11, 2013

The in flight entertainment on the Monarch flight from Gatwick to Tenerife South was provided unwittingly by a contingent from deepest Essex. That Nice Lady Decorator told me not to be unkind about them as they may be related to our own Essex boy, Wayne Brown,  from red radish who hails from that parish as he might know them. Unless Wayne has adopted the habit of wearing bright red shell suits adorned with the motifs like “little miss princess” and wearing silver booties as part of a very fetching ensemble, then I am sure he will not be offended by a frank appraisal of Essex style and may well have some knowledge of the up to date Essex girl look.

The continual in-flight announcements about being allowed only to drink alcohol purchased on board told their own story, I suspect many an illicit empty can of special brew, super strong cider and egg nog would have been left behind after the flight.  They know how to live in Romford.

I have seen the sun in England for the first time in ages, although we did have to go above 30,000 feet and to get above the clouds, and after a 4-hour flight arrived into Tenerife in early evening. I suspect that had we been seated in the heart of Essex at the rear of the plane then we may also have seen the moon,  until Miss Princess had been told to pull up the bottom half  of her XXXL shell suit.

Despite half the population of Essex at their holiday loudest on the plane it was a reasonably pleasant trip and with a temperature of 21 degrees when we landed, given the recent weather in England, I would have forgiven a great deal.  The Bahia Principe on Cape Adeje, which will be our home for the following week, looked very impressive when viewed through several glasses of cava in  the darkness, lets hope it look as good this morning. I took a photo of a palm tree above where we were sitting outside at 11pm – a slight departure from English weather I am sure you will agree, and yes, I did say outside, but have just taken this from our room

Bahia Principe

Bahia Principe view from our room

Today the shorts will be unpacked and employed to explore the massive resort that could be called Essex On Sea. A sea view from our room was an unexpected bonus and a terrace looking out to the Mediterranean will also give me a chance to see Essex girls at play in their tasteful bikinis. With luck I will be able to give you a flavour through photographs in the coming days.

It seems that there us entertainment provided in a purpose-built theatre on the complex, but my hopes of witnessing some Spanish culture whilst we are in the resort were immediately  dented by the news that the act on stage as we passed  by was Nat king Soul, who was warming up for The Drifters (in very large letters) Tribute (in very small letters),

Given what I have seen so far, I believe that I may have some excess baggage. Those of you who thought I would now make some in judicious remark linking excess baggage and that Nice Lady Decorator, shame on you. I was referring to the pile of Currencies Direct brochures that I have brought with me in the hope that I may come across some new clients. The problem is that they have first to know how to read, but no matter I shall keep them for another day.

So dear readers, we have a full week here in Tenerife and I suspect it may be full of sand sea and Essex  and I’m looking forward to reporting on it all for your delectation and delight.
Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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