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Santa Claus is coming to town

November 25, 2012

Breakfast at the Sebel Playford hotel in Adelaide was offered at the utterly unreasonable price of 33 Australian dollars (about £24 at today’s exchange rates) so we sought an alternative. We decided to venture  down towards the Torrens river that runs prettily along the northern edge of the central area, where we found a found a cafe overlooking the river which was serving breakfast for 60 per cent of the hotel prices,  and with far superior views.

As we sat down to order, I spotted a chap dressed as Santa Claus outfit which was a little incongruous as the temperature was in the mid 20’s centigrade rather than Fahrenheit. Then I saw another and then another and within a few minutes there were hundreds of Santa’s. I quickly reviewed last night’s intake and concluded that an extended period of sobriety was well overdue.
As it turns out, it was all due to a Santa Fun Run taking place along the river, the entry criteria seemingly to revolve around wearing a Santa Claus outfit. I took this picture of the start. I want to salute the genius who conceived this utterly daft, but no doubt very worthwhile enterprise. To dress as Father Christmas and go running in temperatures more suited to lying by a pool is the work of a powerful or warped mind.  What I really I like however, is that it brings forth a smile to all unsuspecting spectators.
Santa in Adelaide

The race to be Santa Claus in Adelaide

After breakfast, the opportunity to experience an international cricket match proved irresistible, so John “Chuckle Brothers” Surtees and I went down to the Adelaide Oval to witness some of the 4th day of the Australia versus South Africa test match. This was in preparation for our own cricket ceremony later in the day, the much vaunted opening parade of nations for the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival.
Earlier, I had been summoned to reception by our leader and captain Sir Thomas Ingilby, who showed his true pedigree by admitting to being an avid reader of this daily column. By avid I mean that he did, under pressure, admit to reading it once. We discussed the establishment of a fines committee, where people guilty of the smallest crime on tour should be fined for their misdemeanour’s and I floated the idea that our team-mate, and High Court Judge, “Hanging” Judge John Walford, should be the titular head of this penal concept, and that I, with my track record as an instrument of observation, tittle-tattle and exaggeration as illustrated by this column, should act as a kind of prosecutor, putting forward details of any “crimes” for consideration by the Judge, whose decision would be final, except for any accusations where he was himself involved. Should he himself  be accused of any fine-able activity then he should be subject to a kangaroo court. After all, we are in Australia.
The parade was spectacular with 37 teams from around the world attending and more pictures will follow in the coming days. As a result of last night I have now identified a number of characters whom I expect to feature in this column in the coming week, but more of that later. At this stage I just want to reveal that I believe the Hanging Judge can, how can I say this, be “knobbled” if the attempt to have me sacked from my self-appointed position of Fines Prosecutor later in the evening is anything to go by. Popping into a local bar on the way back to the hotel after the reception, I found him in deep conversation with the gorgeous Rachael Surtees, who was clearly intent on securing this position for herself, and I have reason to believe that she used her very considerable charms to divert the good Judge from the right and proper path as it seems she wanted the position for herself. Mind you, if I was ever afforded such attention by her then black would be white, no question.
Chris France


One Comment leave one →
  1. simmonsdj permalink*
    November 26, 2012 5:14 am

    Saw the fun fun on the BBC World news this morning


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