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Cafe exclusive

October 30, 2012

The age of ageism is upon us. On a trip yesterday to LA (that is local speak for the rather run-down seaside town for codgers called Littlehampton) I was struck by the probably illegal favoritism being shown to chaps of a certain age, as my picture today reveals. An over-50’s Cafe seems to me to be an exclusive club, entry to which I wish I was not entitled. To paraphrase the late Groucho Marx “I would not want to belong to any club that would have me as a member”. That nice lady decorator has told me that she will forever be excluded from such a cafe as she will never reach 50, indeed she doubts she will ever get past 37, certainly she has not for several years. Another thought has crossed my mind; what if I were in my late 40’s and in desperate need of coffee (or more likely, a toilet)? Would I have to produce ID or proof of age to be allowed entry? Surely this must contravene some EU regulation about discrimination in terms of age? As Homer Simpson once said; “if there was a law it would be against it”.

over 50's cafe

Have you any ID?

I have never seen such a lot of red lines in my life. Proof reading of my forthcoming and eagerly awaited (by me) book the Valbonne Monologues has caused some consternation to Lin Wolff from the English Book
Centre in Valbonne and the redoubtable Viv Frost, the girl responsible for persuading me to turn this daily column into a book in the first place, both of whom volunteered for proof reading duties. I think there may be a shortage of red ink if their combined onslaught on my grammar and spelling continues. I would like to think that they were under lining the bits they thought were funny, but….

So after a trip to LA, it was back home to work. My Currencies Direct duties are less onerous in Arundel than when I am in Valbonne for the simple reason that few in England have regular need of foreign currency, even if it can be purchased at a cheaper rate than your bank. Thus much of my time was spent trying to think of something to write about to keep you all amused.

I mentioned yesterday the proposed film about Jimmy Savile starring George Clooney. On the same tack I hear that Viagra are about to release a new variant of of their product bearing the 007 logo. Apparently it doesn’t make things harder it just makes you Roger Moore.

As this looks like the only decent weather day this week, the plan is to take the bikes and the dogs to a beach, perhaps West Wittering, which I hated when I saw last year but have recently seen pictures and may have been mistaken. It was such a massive disappointment when I first saw it, just after the start of our enforced English exile, compared with the beaches we had recently left to their own devices in the south of France, and was not helped by horizontal drizzle and the tide being right in, thus covering the sand. Stand by tomorrow for my new considered opinion. I expect comparisons with Juan les Pins to remain less than favourable.

Then tomorrow is also Halloween. I am wondering whether I am daring enough to ask that nice lady decorator “trick or treat”. In the past I have asked but never been sure which is which. It has been suggested (I like to think there is a ghost of a chance) that we break our hermit like temperance in celebration of all things ghoulish. Dinner has been mentioned and I have pointed out that there are at least three decent looking restaurants in Arundel that we have not yet tried, so fingers crossed

Chris France


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