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In the stirrups

October 16, 2012

Obviously up north they don’t have many toys, but I invite you to work out exactly what form of entertainment can be provided by the chair in today’s picture. I spotted the stirrups fitted to its side as soon as I arrived at Oddfellows a few days ago and have been thinking about them ever since. What can be their use? According to the manager of the hotel it attracts people, mainly the female of the species, who are often all for trying it out. Sadly for me, I was never in the vicinity when this practical use was attempted, but I am glad that it seems to be made mostly from leather which does not stain as much as if it were fabric.

Leather chair complete with stirrups - Why?

Toys from up north

Perhaps it is some kind of mechanism to check whether sheep are male or female? In which case I know why they are called sheep dog trials. I shall now be looking out in the TV schedules for any programmes featuring these pursuits as I think I may have under estimated the entertainment levels offered.

If you are not following this line of thought consider this; stirrups are used for putting your feet in, I know because I am often putting my foot in it, so, once you have your feet in them, consider what is the position of the person (or animal) in the stirrups, and the position of the person reclining in the chair? This is a bit of a worry and I am glad that this morning I shall be heading back to the relatively sophisticated south of England.

It has been an enlightening time being this far north for so long. I understand now why people sometimes disappear to a hermitage for months, because it heightens once realisation of how privileged is their normal day-to-day existence. The result of my solitude is undeniable, the book is finished and that would not have been the case had I been subjected to the normal day-to-day diversions. Anyway, it is over and civilisation beckons today.

It will be back to the world of commerce today down the only good thing to come out of the north-west, the M6 motorway, back to the world of Currencies Direct, my work with the Steve Marriott estate and the relaunch of my digital record company Music Of Life and aiding my old pal John Otway in getting a cinematic general release. For his film Otway The Movie. I was told recently that the range of my activities are an eclectic mix but I was unsure of what he meant. I don’t know what electricity has to do with it.

So a day off tomorrow before these electric activities take me to London for a range of meetings. This is very galling as I have for some time been describing myself as semi retired but I now appear to be busier than ever. I blame the enforced move to England. It is difficult to do business in France, not only because of the bureaucratic anti entrepreneurial stance adopted by the French authorities, but the sunshine, the outdoor free wheeling attitude to life, the great restaurants and of course the cheap and plentiful wine added to the plethora of thirsty ex pats. I miss it so much.

I must be strong. I shall now be embraced by an English winter, that damp, cold and unedifying prospect already heralded by the leaves falling from the trees and the unwelcome discovery that my walking boots leak, something that was never tested when I lived full-time in Valbonne. Walking and cycling are so much more unpleasant when it is wet and cold.

Chris France


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