Peachy makes a boob

It is always a big lunch when one is invited to the Butterfields, but quite how big  I was destined to find out when Peachy decided to try out a pair of false breasts as my picture today unfortunately captures. Quite why he feels the need to own a pair of quite respectable blow up false breasts which he claims he uses as the ultimate comfort cushion is not beyond me at all, in fact I can well imagine the therapeutic effects (sorry Lin) that could be secured by owning such an item. Where can I buy one or should it be a pair?

What's going on here then?

Events understandably got slightly out of hand after the early administering of mojitos at lunch but it started earlier than that. The Braderie in Valbonne took place yesterday. It coincided with the antiques market which takes place on the first Sunday of each month throughout the village of Valbonne. After the desultory look around at the vastly overpriced merchandise on the market we ended up having a sneaky beer at the Cafe Des Arcades just after the sun had passed the yardarm (somewhere in the world) but that of course lead to a glass of rose which was still insufficient to prepare one for the onslaught of lunch. However, Slash and burn Thornton Allan who was also on the look out for non-existent bargains was sufficiently disheartened as to order a double expresso, a large pastis and a carafe of rose to accompany one of the many Cohiba’s he purchased in Havana. It was shortly after this that we made a strategic withdrawal from what was stacking up to be more carnage and headed for lunch.

I espied Chateau Gloria almost before I encountered the many times retired Simon Howes who single-handedly allows this vineyard to maintain its frankly ludicrous prices. It is a fantastic wine but we only had 3 bottles (there we’re 3 of us drinking red) so we had to degenerate into a magnum of St Estephe whilst taking advantage of an over stock of Cuba’s finest cigars. I am not sure if Cuba ever had a cigar mountain but a fair dent was made yesterday, in fact in climbing Everest terms I would venture to suggest that we passed base camp one. A plume of cigar smoke trailed through the garden to the distant horizon.

I must draw a discrete veil over proceedings mainly because I have either forgotten them, I have been bribed or the details are far too disturbing even for this daily look at the lives of the idle rich in Valbonne, save to say that the lovely Suzanne must have had the entire Valbonne stock of chickens slaughtered for the meal which for once involved no barbecued road kill, Peachy having been forbidden to unveil the barbeque.

I had planned a day off today  but my diary had a different idea with a meeting early evening to talk about the benefits of opening an account with Currencies Direct to save 3% more on foreign exchange transfers, and the benefits of QROPS whatever they are, maybe something to either with pensions or farmers. I know, some jokes land on stony ground, anyway today is Monday and I am on top form, something to which I have no right given the consumption programme over the past few weeks, well month actually so I shall make the most of it until after lunch when I expect to be overcome by an extreme bout of tiredness which I shall deal with by doing some horizontal planning on the couch in the web

Chris France