Dog in a manger?

After the pigeon follow through from Saturday’s lunch had flown the nest so to speak it was rather inevitably designated a quiet day today with hardly a thought given to that most important of my activities, the promotion of the foreign exchange services of Currencies Direct. Half a plan to stroll down to the Valbonne antiques market which takes place throughout the village on the first Sunday of each month, have a beer and stroll back was abandoned in a haze of headache suffering.

Feeling wretched for most of it, I finally succumbed to a bloody mary in the early evening sunshine with gratifying results, headache gone and enthusiastic planning for your Man In Havana, leaving for London tomorrow and flying to Cuba on Wednesday.

One of the extra benefits of being away for a couple of weeks is that I shall have to spend no time at all with the heinous hound, the apple of that nice lady decorator’s eye, Banjo, the smelly mutt. His motto should be “I will lick my balls then later cleanse my tongue by licking you”, an expression that I have “researched” from one of my friends Facebook pages. Recently in Valbonne village I took a picture of some dogs who must clearly be as badly behaved as Banjo to merit such treatment which I show today.

Dogging in Valbonne?

I don’t know why my comments about the cocked up cocker spaniel’s licking habits reminded me but I have been sent some pictures of the Cuban virgins who reputedly roll cigars on their inner thighs and all I can say is I understand why they are virgins.

Talking of cigars, I managed to leave my traveling cigar humidor behind after lunch on Saturday along with my phone which I am certain contained some exciting and revealing photographs, however these seem to have been deleted. I make no accusations as to who was to blame but what the miscreant in question forgot is that I had emailed most of the best of them to myself already, but they will remain unpublished assuming receipt of the usual brown paper bag with accompanying bank notes.

So last day of work in France today, meetings in both halves of the day as I mentioned earlier, one in Cannes,currently awash with loads of suits in town for MIPIM with the Icelandic goddess Gudrun  from Remax Cannes and one in the afternoon in Valbonne with the Cornish Tsunami himself Matt Frost from French Mortgage Xpress, not very conducive to lunch then, but do not think of this trip to the Caribbean will be just fun. No, I shall be actively seeking clients for Currencies Direct on a daily basis with my faithful nice decorating assistant, otherwise how shall I claim the expenses of the trip against tax? I know my accountant often reads this daily missive so it will come as no shock when the receipts are submitted shortly after this working trip is completed.

Representations have been made by several people working in cohort to ease my daily burden of writing this column whilst I am on holiday working, by undertaking to take over its creation, but such have been the slanted biased abusive nature of the submissions that I have been forced to abandon consideration of this generous but dangerous offer. Dangerous because too many people have found unjustified reasons to want to “get their own back” for material that has appeared here from time to time for reasons I cannot fathom, such is the honesty and integrity for which I would hate this column to be renowned.

Chris France