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Vegetarians not welcome

January 5, 2012

The best line from the Christmas period came from the BBC’s Mrs Browns Boys claiming that one of Santa’s reindeer was called Richard the brown nose reindeer. It seems he is stationed directly behind Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer but he has trouble stopping.

This seems a suitably apt way to wave goodbye to the Christmas season and with half an eye on regular reader the Reverend Jeff, thank Christ for that. It is all very jolly and great fun for the first few days, the first week even,  but the last few days become a marathon and, given the carnage (brought in by eating too much meat?) wrecked on my slender figure, I will need to run several marathons to regain my normal sylph like shape.

We all know that all the fad diets, the gym, and all the other getting back in to shape routines have at their root the three principles of eating less, drinking less alcohol and exercising more, so I have decided to try to embrace these principles for the next ten days. At least I had until a chance conversation yesterday with the Head of Currencies Direct France, the lovely Pippa Maile, who told me that giving up alcohol completely for a period of time was dangerous for the liver. It seems that this fine organ adapts to ones lifestyle and sudden changes to ones routine in regard to ones intake can have an adverse effect, thus I have had to reconsider one part of this worthy triumvirate, and reconsider the planned period of temperance. But as the song says “Two out of three ain’t bad”.

Part of this get thin routine will involve eating loads of vegetables and avoiding red meat and I am concerned that people may mistake me for that weirdest sect, the nearest to the totally weird anorexics, vegetarians. All right-thinking people know that vegetarianism is fundamentally wrong. Has any one ever seen a vegetarian that looks well? I well remember a concert promoter in Aylesbury in my youth who was of this ilk but tried to impose a similarly misguided dietary approach on his pet dog, a Jack Russell, but unknown to our famous impresario, on visits to the house after the pubs had shut and normally with a take away chinese containing spare ribs the little mutt got a quick break from his all vegetable diet…well the poor dog had to have some relief.

The French have little truck with vegetarians, indeed many restaurants locally do not even cater for them, but which diet is recognized as the best in the world, and with the lowest obesity rate in the modern world? France of course, and the Mediterranean diet especially. I was reminded of the French way of dealing with vegetarians when I saw this sign at the end of last year.

Not sure of the middle it, but at the bottom the message is clear for vegetarians

So with both sprogs departing today and getting a very hearty send off from me, I shall be refocusing on work. However before that I shall be going to the airport this morning just to make sure they go. My fridge and larder would be hard pushed to stand another week of teenage onslaught. I am joking of course, it has been great seeing them (albeit briefly and usually when they had run out of money or were raiding my fridge for beers) but all good things must come to an end and its time for them to go back, and I have to make absolutely sure there is no backsliding.

Chris France

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