Golf in deepest winter

Let’s be straight about it, I won the golf. The public schoolboys who were my companions played their own little game the highlight of which was that they did not seem to be required to putt, such were the long putts they were giving each other. The best comment of the day emanated from the Wingco who, upon seeing one of my magnificent drives caress some leaves on its way to the centre of the fairway, responded to my comment about the tree shivering in anticipation by suggesting that it was more likely shivering at the memory of its lost brothers and sisters that had been pulped to provide pages for my book “Summer In The Cote d’Azur”.

It was however an idyllic afternoon in the sunshine and I took this picture from the golf club terrace before we teed off.

St Donat Golf Course, the view from the terrace

Later on we were invited to early evening drinks with Mr Clipboard. Amongst the guests were Mr Humphreys, my style guru, who was free, and whose first reaction was to praise me for my daring choice of attire. Hitherto, he felt he was alone amongst his peers who could carry off the wearing of a petrol blue cashmere (effect) sweater, but it seems in his opinion, which is for me omnipotent when it comes to fashion trends) that I pulled it off (not the sweater).

I did discover a very interesting fact from the lovely Sylvie, wife of the brooding and magnificent Hans the Dutchman. Mr Humphreys has a race horse named after him. How flattering? I am not certain I would view this as quite the honour that Mr Humphreys thought it was. No, it is not jealousy, it’s more the opening up of an endless range of jokes at one’s expense from people like me.I admit that Mr Humphrey’s is an easy target for humour in many respects I mean would you rather be named Ferrari or Shergar? Maserati or Mr Ed? It seems that Mr Humphreys (the horse) is a flat racer which by implication means he is not good over the jumps, do you see where we could go with this?

Also enjoying the finely marshalled drinks and nibbles was Master Mariner Mundell who again took exception to the implication that he may have been involved in bullying. When we were unable to agree about whether this implication would stick he threatened more violence. So, no implication of bullying there then. He did however make manful efforts to sell a second copy of my book without the hoped for success that I had exhibited earlier when the first sale of the evening was sealed, but I suppose that he was not helped by Mr Clipboard finally condemning his copy to a funeral pyre on his living room fire and then taking photographs much to the glee of the other public schoolboys present, who will surely regret their actions, particularly when recent events are referred to in my second book.

So here it is, the final day of festivities for me. A last supper tonight with the sprogs who have extracted vast sums from my wallet and destroyed months of carefully laid in stocks of booze over Christmas before they return to the UK on Thursday. I shall be living a hermit like existence for the next ten days concentrating on my work for Currencies Direct, the promotion of the wonderful Medina Palms and a new venture as sponsorship manager for the South Of France English Theatre whose first production “Barefoot
In The Park” starring the redoubtable Jennifer Wilson takes place in Valbonnes Pre Des Arts on 14th and 15th February. If you care to sponsor this or future events click here.

Chris France