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Nice lady decorator reads book shock

October 30, 2011

A chorus of abuse greeted me today as my faux pas yesterday came to light. The extremely poor joke about the wonderful Kate Adams having a nice pear fell deservedly on deaf ears because a pomme as in La Pomme Rouge is of course not a pear but an apple. I deserve all the opprobrium I get because it was a desperately poor joke anyway and only got past the editor (me) because I had imbibed rather too freely at this rather swish establishment. There ends the case for the defence.

This piece is especially for my readers in England. Although summer has gone, the autumn days are still warm enough to sit out and sunbathe and perhaps to read a book in the sunshine. I took this picture yesterday of the lounger in which that nice lady decorator had been sitting a few moments before and guess what she was reading? As Rolf Harris would probably say, “Can you see what it is yet?”

Looks like a very fine read to me

This could go either way. Either she likes the idea that her lazy husband has actually got around to nearly publishing his first book and she will pleased and happy, or, on the other hand if she focusses on the contents, which is a more or less a compilation of the err….best bits of this column she has mostly not read, and the contents do not find favour then I will be in the dog house. So far she is at page 9 and the jury is out.

Next Saturday is Firework night, November 5th when I shall be playing golf with the REGS at St Donat, but in the evening I shall now be considering staging a firework party. This is because dear old Max, the amiable and gentle and not smelly family dog has just been confirmed as stone deaf. Whilst this is very sad and nothing can be done, it will enable me to buy some very loud fireworks to celebrate this momentous day in British history without worrying about his being scared. Banjo, the appalling giant, smelly, loose boweled cocker spaniel disgrace to the doggy fraternity has wonderful hearing, and although I do not like him, I accept that he will inevitably eventually take over as senior dog in the household, thus I have decided to try to work anew on our relationship. With that in mind I have invited him to come and witness the firework display. I do hope he will enjoy the spectacle and sheer exhilarating sound of fireworks being let off at close quarters. I realise however that he may get over excited by the event so I plan to tether him to a tree nearby so that he gets the best possible view. I do hope this will cement a new era in relations between us.

Not a mention today for Currencies Direct as I have some respect for the sabbath. I always was a Tommy Iommi fan. Instead, we shall almost certainly go to the beach in Juan Les Pins to make the most of the sunshine and warmer than usual temperatures and to top up the tan before our trip to Kenya at the end of November.

The coming week fills me with some foreboding as it is my duty to go to Guildford on Tuesday, flying back on Wednesday. Leaving the poolside sunshine for gales, frost and sleet is not my idea of fun, but ones duty is to attend one sons parents evening at the college, so one will have to take solace in beer after the event. At least my son James is now old enough legally to come to the pub. I wonder whose round it will be, any guesses?

Chris France

9 Comments leave one →
  1. Pinman permalink
    October 30, 2011 11:38 am

    “Not a mention today for Currencies Direct”

    There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.

    It’s called marriage.

    Like

  2. Paul Kendall permalink
    October 30, 2011 2:34 pm

    Clearly not that big a fan. Black Sabbath’s guitarist, I think you’ll find, is Tony Iommi.

    Like

  3. Chris permalink
    October 30, 2011 2:55 pm

    Watch b4 you go.
    While Somalia is unstable, is Kenya safe to visit?
    http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/programmes/fast_track/9622786.stm

    Like

  4. Pinman permalink
    October 30, 2011 4:14 pm

    “actually I thought it was Ritchie Blackmore….”

    That’s a bit Deep……….even for your Purple prose……………!!

    Like

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