Seagull in blow job shocker

Drinks started at just after 12 in Antibes aboard the very nice boat owned by the naked politician and his lovely wife Dawn (does that make her Dawn naked or Dawn politician?) with a few others including John Otway, down in the Cote d’Azur for a couple of days rest and recuperation. From there we adjourned for lunch to the very lovely Petite Plage, one of my favourite luncheon haunts in Juan Les Pins.

Juan Les Pins as a venue was chosen by Mr Otway because he regularly destroys an old song by Peter Sarsted called “Where Do You Go To My Lovely” in his “musical” set which mentions the town. You will see that I have placed the word musical in inverted commas. This is because people who have witnessed Mr Otways performances in the past will know what I mean but if you have not yet experienced that treat, a simple youtube search will reveal the true scale of the horror that will befall anyone expecting either good musicianship or a decent singing voice in his wonderfully funny performances.

That fact that I have been a fan for over forty years is illustrated up by the number of times I have been persuaded to invest in his dodgy self promoting schemes, but the full story will have to wait for my autobiography, which will see daylight when I can find somebody to write it for me.

It was another warm and sunny day with swimwear to the fore, but some beach attire obviously has different effects on the bird population than others as my picture below shows.

The naked politician, thankfully not naked at this moment

Exactly what this sea-gull had in mind is open to debate but I think if one were to describe a bird in this position without recourse to the photo, one might have been forgiven for thinking that the naked politician might be the lucky recipient of a blow job, but somehow I think on this particular occasion perhaps it is as well that the bird did not go through with it. The exact nature of the seagulls interest is open to debate, but I do hope its bill was not too much of a shock.

So a long and entertaining day came to an end after dark, with Mr Otway thankfully departing in the direction of Menton for a brief respite from his gigging schedule and the commencement of the shooting of the film which is unsurprisingly about himself.

I shall be doing very little of substance today as I allow the toxic cocktail of alcoholic excess collected gleefully over the past five days gradually to depart my god like body (Bacchus or Buddha suggests Peter Lynn in a rather cruel comment recently), except perhaps to follow up a few potentially happy customers for Currencies Direct and organise some vital sales aids for Medina Palms.

Later this week I will commence the full promotional campaign for the launch of the paperback version of my book on November 7th, although by the level of interest it will be a sell out shortly. I would like to think that this is due to the quality of my writing and the entertaining content but I suspect that the special guests John Otway and Stephen Frost may prove more of an attraction. Blackadder fans will remember Stephen as the jovial firing squad leader in one of the best episodes of the final series.

In case you have forgotten, please make a date in your diary for lunch on 7th November at the Auberge Provencal in Valbonne Square, and make your reservation shortly if you have not already done so. This can be done by emailing me chrs.france@gmail.com. You also get lunch and will be subject to intense pressure from me to buy one or more copies of that soon to be hailed as a masterpiece “Summer In The Core D’Azur”.

Chris France