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“Are you free My Humphries?”

November 8, 2010

Earlier in the week I had said to Mr Humphries, our resident magistrate, fan of the gay cult UK TV comedy “Are You Being Served?” and martial arts expert “Are you free?” to come to lunch on Sunday. He had replied “I’m free”, so he and his lovely wife Helen joined a select group of thirsty revellers at ours yesterday.

It was the normal ribald affair, staged partly outside in the pav for pre lunch drinks but with lunch served inside. A bit like a July day in England but as it is November I suppose I should not complain, if only it had been Friday, we would have all been in shorts!

The happy throng helped reduce the existing stocks of a Grand Cru Haut Medoc 2004, several magnums of which were emptied very quickly before festivities were properly underway. Mr Humphries, who regularly gets a great deal of well deserved stick in this column due in part to the particular fashion statements he makes by wearing some rather eclectic, and in my opinion, somewhat effeminate items, once again attracts my attention. I watch closely to find out what should be in my wardrobe for any up coming social events.

By that, I mean that if I have any items vaguely resembling anything he is wearing, I know to leave them in the wardrobe. Anyway, I took this picture of Mr Humphries shoes, just so I have some idea of what to wear, or rather not to wear for the coming week.

This weeks fashion hint from Mr Humphries

Simon Howes, another guest to the towering France lunch suggests, during a discussion about the upper limits of wine consumption, that in his  opinion, two bottles a night between husband and wife should be an upper target limit, however, when pressed admits that he has not factored in the luncheon intake. Clearly after the Howes left he and his lovely wife would have been testing the upper limits of his suggested daily quotient, however as the beautiful Sarah does not drink a great deal, I assume that Simon will be “mopping up” to ensure that upper limit is reached?
Failing to take account of lunch in the Cote d’Azur is a mistake that may be punishable under local by laws, so important an institution has it become. I am surprised therefore that one of the best lunch staging specialists in France could overlook something so important. I still recall that Grand Cru Classe Chateau St Julien 2000 a few weeks ago.

Also amongst the revellers was new boy Tim Biscaye who made his own daring fashion statement by wearing a shirt covered in very fetching pink flowers, for which he received a serious hard time, before his lovely wife Jill admitted she had bought it for him. His work requires him to spend 50% of his time in Africa, so perhaps her involvement in his wardrobe is intended to keep him monogamous on his trips abroad, in which case I think she has it right. If the rest of his clothing is of a similar standard then I suspect he will remain a lonely man when away from home.

Also revelling were Paul and Lisa Thornton Allan, Paul deciding the start the cigar smoking before lunch, and Lisa, last to leave, but not before having ensured the last of the Sancerre was exhausted.

Chris France

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