Give me a croc sandwich, and make it snappy

Yesterday morning I walked into Valbonne to post my letters and took this photo of the olive trees  ready for the harvest that to start next month.  OK, that’s enough culture for this column, I know what you want, salacious gossip or bad mouthing at a very minimum, so it is with a happy heart that I know that Neil Humphreys will be in the Cafe Latin this morning, as I havent been rude about him for almost 2 weeks! (apart from yesterday) so lets start now, I believe he thinks a fibula is a little white lie.

Olive trees at Domaine Sylvain in Valbonne, ready for harvest

So with luck, my visit to  Cafe Latin this morning will provide me with  enough material for the coming week and to pick up fashion tips from a certain magistrate who sent me an email yesterday with some less than magesterial language. I know he loves to feature in this column as he “doth protest too much”.

To the Queens Legs last night for a couple of sharpeners as the planned teetotal week suffered another setback, but I am not down hearted, 2 “dry” days out of 7 is a move forward.

We we’re checking if there was any event planned for Halloween and whether traditional costume was required. Of course that nice lady decorator’s normal clothing will not require many additions, except perhaps she could benefit from having her broomstick polished.

That last sentence is a kind of litmus test. If she storms into my office today with her broomstick, I will know she has read today’s episode, if not then I will know her claim to be keeping an eye on is a hoax. I realise that pain may be involved, but I need to know where my editorial limits are and this seems to be a good way to find out.

The beautiful weather – 21 degrees forecast for today – will apparently be interrupted over the weekend, so that should enable me to convert even more currency exchangers at the Best Of British show at La Motte in the Var.  The beaches will not be so alluring if the promised rain arrives, so doubtless the more sensible amongst you living over there in the wilds of Provence will be rushing to enlist with Currencies Direct.

Surprisingly nothing back from Mike Hardacre (with a k) after my comments yesterday about his bedroom crocs.  His lovely wife claims that he has some incriminating pictures of me, but as I have never done anything I am ashamed of except….then there was….and then there was…actually he may have a point, I think I will be nice to him until I find out more about what he thinks he has over me.

Apparently no golf is organised by the Regs this weekend, or perhaps my name has slipped off the email list after my revelations about certain players appeared in this column last weekend.  In any event I have decided to curse them with the weather, as I could not have played anyway

Chris France

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