Monsoon, tripe and black pudding

I know it was stupid. After leaving the campsite near the seaside in Biot and putting Bluebell the camper out to grass at the Wingco’s, an adjournment to lunch at Auberge St Donat seemed fitting.

The best thing about that restaurant is that wine is included in the 14.50 euros fixed menu, about £12 at todays exchange rate and with the inevitable evaporation that occurs naturally in a warm climate, one would normally expect a collection of empty bottles on the table by the time coffee arrives, and so it came to pass.

Having lunched well, and with a lift to the airport secured, a warm contentment settled over me, to the extent that I did not consider it necessary, nor did it cross my mind,to change my clothing before arriving at Manchester. Big Mistake.

Pakistan has monsoons, Manchester just has rain. All day. Every day, but no monsoon temperatures here, 15 degrees sounds cold, and I can tell that coming from a daytime temperature close to double that, comparatively, it was. Dressed as I was in beach shorts, sunglasses and a flimsy shirt, my lack of proper preparation for the climate was discovered almost immediately.

The train from Manchester to Leeds was all of the following; late, overpriced, dirty, ill-equipped, uncomfortable, no bar facilities, no air conditioning, no phone charger or laptop charging sockets. In other words much as I had expected and much as I had predicted, welcome back to the old country!

Yorkshire loomed under a baleful sky, but at least night masked the full horror of what I imagine to be the tripe, black pudding and Yorkshire Pudding fields. Well they must grow the stuff somewhere…

Manchester monsoon

I had grown used to french trains over the past week or so, air-conditioned, plug sockets available to charge one’s phone, an ongoing and precise commentary on our progress, all were as unexpected as they welcome, and at fraction of the cost of rail transport in the UK.

Today, weather permitting of course, and as I write it is raining, I shall indulge in playing cricket, and will then go to an evening of some sort hosted by former England player and Test Match Special commentator Jonathon Agnew, “Aggers” as he is known. He will be accompanied by Chris Cowdray, another English cricketer of note, son, of course of one of England’s greatest cricketers, Colin Cowdray.

That nice lady decorator has wisely decided to stay in France, and leave us cricket loving weirdos to our own devices. I am the guest of another cricket fan, John Surtees, formerly of ITV where he was chief cutter and slasher of the Yorkshire TV workforce, and is widely credited with closing the in-house bar. Rumour has it that he was so good at cost efficiencies he even sacked himself!  Suffice to say that he is no longer employed at YTV, but instead is now searching for new TV opportunities for The Chuckle Brothers!

I am to play for the English Lords Taverners against the Australian Newcastle Lords Taverners, although how you can have an Australian version of the Lords Taverners defeats me.

Amongst my team mates are several actors, including Fraser Hines who was apparently appeared in something called Emmerdale Farm, perhaps it is one of those farms growing tripe? (Better than writing it, I hear some of you say…) and former Yorkshire, and I think England, cricketer Richard Blakey.

I am here until Saturday and will play again on Friday, weather and body reaction permitting. This veterans tournament has apparently attracted teams from New Zealand, South Africa and Australia, the latter of which will provide our opponents, so no mention of The Ashes then……

Chris France      

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