Trolley Dolly shocker
It was as I was just awaking after testing out the hammock, which of course requires regular testing in order to endure there are no failures when rental clients are in possession of our house. Whilst dozing testing, I had vaguely heard phone conversations between that nice lady decorator and various others then suddenly loads of people showed up at the pav.
The pav, before the hostess onslaught
As they were all clutching bottles of wine and food, I realised that another pre-planned impromptu “drink up” as the current Mrs France refers to it, was about to take place. I would have like to have known about it, indeed I would have liked to be invited, but apparently I was an oversight, except no doubt when it comes to paying for it.
Ill prepared as I was in my purple smoking jacket plus fours and cravat, I made the best of it. Actually, I wonder if Mike Hardacre (with a k) from angloinfo has smoking crocs? He has them for everywhere and everything else apparently. I think I should very much like a pair of brothel creeper crocs to adorn that particular outfit..
Anyway, most of the attendees were glamorous former or working air hostesses for British Airways, two of whom, Jackie and Suzanne, have retired to open the ceramic cafe in Biot called La Tasse de Couleur at Biot.
Now, the guests including very senior executives of Currencies Direct, were predominantly women,and all beautiful, a fact that I welcome with open arms, especially because as the wine consumption increased, so inevitably did the doubtful nature of the stories that unfolded. Many are unrepeatable, even in a blog as low down the social strata as this.
In fact my old friend Paul Kendall, a folically challenged advertising executive with a good degree in English at Oxford, yesterday described this column as “semi-literate”. This is praise indeed from him, I must have improved from his normal description of totally illiterate!
Although fabulously intelligent, he had certain glaring deficiencies in common sense. I cannot tell you for instance, that once in the late 70’s he got a puncture on the outside lane of the M4 motorway. Instead of moving off onto the hard shoulder hour attempted to change the wheel in the outside lane, in rush hour! Anyway, it must remain a secret.
But back to the air hostess convention in that pav last night. I cannot remember what relevance it had to the world of trolley dollies, but the story told by Lindsey (in a Nigerian accent!) about the Nigerian woman in court accusing a man of rape stuck in my mind. Apparently the women described how she was washing clothes by the stream and as she bent over, she was taken unexpectedly from behind. When told by the defence counsel she had been seen having sex for an hour and a half, she said she thought it was a friend, but it turned out it wasn’t who she was expecting! Seems to me that it a mistake anyone could make.
The last revellers finally departed at about 1 30, which was lovely, as I was then delegated to do the airport run for my daughters guest at 06 45am this morning, what joy!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
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http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
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Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Ceramic Cafe in Biot? www.latassdecouleur.com
Trouble Up t’mill?
The Sunday Times is a weekly purchase to enable being abreast of events in the UK. Its pronouncements on exchange rates for instance has always been accurate.
Yesterday it carried a piece on the north south divide which backs up what I have been saying and I quote “people in..Leeds…earn less and die earlier..”. So those that have been complaining about what they think is my harsh descriptions of life in Yorkshire should be mortified, I was right all along.
Apparently my aversion to all things “up north” is nothing new, William The Conqueror apparently took such a dislike to northerners that in 1069 he ordered villages levelled and crops burnt! Personally I would not have gone that far, I would have stopped after little raping and pillaging, well quite a lot of raping….
I thought a team picture from last week featuring MP’s, actors and other ner’ do wells should be my picture today.
MP's, TV folk, actors and Australians, all braving the weather to play cricket
An afternoon swinging in the hammock in the warm breezy sunshine is just the tonic for the working week ahead. Not that I was relaxing you understand, merely lateral thinking, that is to think whilst lateral, and resting ones eyes while the brain works furiously. I also find that a couple of cold beers and some Provencal Gris rose helps that particular forward planning activity.
Later this week we have been invited to friends who have rented a boat on the Canal Du Midi over near Carcassonne. That is the kind of boating I can cope with, no waves to spill ones drink, no motion to stir up ones insides. However, as children will be present, I may find my workload this week too much to spare the time, unless I get that steely eyed stare from that nice lady decorator.
It’s not that I don’t like children, who was it said “I like children but couldn’t eat a whole one”? I do like my own, well quite like them, sometimes. I like them when they are not losing their jobs for re-enacting jeddai knight battles with lawn rakes at a clients house, as happened this summer with my son.
I remember when I was his age and got a summer job as a dustman, refusing to consider university because the UCCA handbook (some kind of guide to Universities) was priced at 25p and being in my communist phase, I thought it should be free. Of course, unlike Julian Dismore, I grew out of that stupidity very quickly and instead aimed to become a bloated capitalist. Sadly I appear at the moment to be more bloated than capitalist – I blame the Yorkshire diet.
No responses to my comments about the lack of any proper wine in yorkshire surprised me, until I realised that internet penetration up north is very limited, in fact the whole mobile system is a disaster back in the UK, not one of the houses I have stayed at during the summer, even in the south, had good mobile reception, whereas we all know down here that you can even get great reception on the beach, or at the top of a mountain ski lift in winter. I do not plan to return soon, although I suspect I will be dragged back in early September for a wedding…
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Latvian Cabernet Sauvignon?
It was as if the terrible weather in Yorkshire had followed me. Storms greeted my arrival in Nice, so the planned cold rose by the pool will have to wait until later today, now that it is warm and sunny again. Five days in Yorkshire and I have turned white and pasty like the locals.
Sunset over Plascassier
Last night, after the storm had cleared and left us with a fantastic sunset, see picture above, I finally found some decent red wine to drink, a magnum of 2005 St Esteph, which the WingCo and that nice lady decorator helped me demolish last night. Of course, 5 days in Yorkshire meant that there was no decent red to drink, and my hosts Rachel and John Surtees, as much as I love them, have no idea about wine. Rachel swore that the wine (I think it was a Latvian Cabernet Sauvignon?) that was on offer at Lidl (the most upmarket supermarket they have in Yorkshire, as far as I can make out) was good, but if one were in a desert with nothing to drink, one would think twice…. After she caught me gagging, she had the decency to open an average Rioja which must have been smuggled into the county, and was being kept for a very special occasion. But for all that they were very decent hosts, extra peat had been purchased for the fire to keep us warm and a special Thai curry served one evening. I assume she meant it was from Thailand, but it may have meant some kind of spicy stew made out of animals that had been “tied” up, such are the vagaries of the Yorkshire accent, but I would never mention it.
I had forgotten that Landlubbers golf this weekend was set to be at Claus Amic in Grasse, and is a golf course specifically designed for golfer that can not hit the ball far enough to lose it. The fairways are all dome-shaped, thus a proper golfer has an almost impossible task of keeping the ball in play. So upon finding out about the venue, I developed an excuse illness. I am sure that Dave the Fade will have lost every golf ball in his bag and all the others that he has a tendency to borrow at times like these.
After I had filled the Merc to the brim with fuel before I left last Tuesday the Wingco picked me up at the airport and returned my car to me. Not 100 metres from his door and the “reserve fuel” gauge lit up. I wonder which parts of Europe he visited this week? Regular reader will remember that when he last borrowed the car he asked if he could run his children up to somewhere called (I thought) Bar Sur Loup, about 10 miles away, but apparently I misheard and it was Barcelona, some 6 hours drive away. When I remonstrated with him he said it was only 4 hours away, which means he had to average 195 km’s per hour. Now I am not sure if I prefer that it took him 6 hours rather than thrashing the poor thing to within an inch of its life.
I must recommence my walking excercise this week, after 5 days of the necessarily high carbohydrate intake required to keep out the cold in the frozen and/or damp north of England, I have expanded a little too much in areas that have been spotted by that nice lady decorator. My protestations that I am still like a whippet were met with that impassive steely glare that I have come to know and if not respect, then fear.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Fine for porno moustache shock
Last evening was spent at The Bracken Fox on the Weatherby road at Scarcroft. Just review that phrase. it’s utterly evocative of where I was marooned last night. Bracken to me implies damp vegetation in winter, Weatherby? well regular readers will know what I think about the English weather, Scarcroft, scars implies injury, and to add insult to injury no Timothy Taylor Landlord to drink.
My only solace is the phalanx of those solid Yorkshire folk around me. Unsophisticated by most modern standards, they are good-hearted people, desperately, in the most part, trying to eek out a living in the grim wastelands, the lucky ones earning a crust wherever they can, tilling the soil, growing tripe and black pudding in a misguided attempt to poison amuse the few plucky tourists who venture this far north. The elite are able to earn enough to exchange life in the frozen north for a few brief days in the sunshine of southern Europe, usually not for more than a week, but their excitement at the prospect is palpable. After a brief and tantalizing visit to civilisation, its back to the grim northern life of tripe, black pudding and rhubarb. Yes rhubarb, I have discovered that nearby is an area called the Rhubarb Triangle. This is about as interesting as it gets.
My picture today is of the 2 teams who battled in out on Wednesday and includes our mascot for the day, former England and Yorkshire cricket captain Ray Illingworth.
Lords Taverners North v Lords Taverners Newcastle NSW plus Ray Illingworth
After the truncated cricket yesterday, we were treated to an impromptu speech by Fraser Hines, from whom I felt compelled to purchase a book after my rather harsh comments earlier in the week, however this was spotted by Julian Dismore, fines secretary, who promptly fined Fraser the full £20 purchase price for soliciting sales in the dressing room. He tells me that he must have taken 900 wickets in his cricketing career, that must be a least 30 a season, or 1 a game on average, a stunning statistic! He is a very funny and approachable man, in no way affected by his long and successful acting career, or a hard life in Yorkshire.
A number of the fines imposed (which all go to the Lords Taverners charity) are in my opinion rather harsh. One is imposed upon Jeff Barnes of our team for being short, others for various vagaries or offences committed during the games, others figments of Mr Dismore’s imagination. I was particularly hurt myself by being fined £2 for having a”dodgy 70’s porno moustache”, twice, as I played in 2 games! apprently the first fine on Wednesday should have been a warning.
Today, after being rained on whilst going to the airport, I shall return to civilisation in the inverse direction of those poor hapless northerners. Last night for instance, a large fillet steak and chips were the very least that was required to sustain someone who had spent most of yesterday in cold rain in a field in Yorkshire. Today a light seafood salad will suffice as my body readjusts to life in a civilised part of the world.
Golf with Dave the Fade and the Landlubbers is on the horizon tomorrow, as long as the storms threatened to not appear and where once again my subtle silver golf shoes will allow me to dance my way around 18 holes, but politely backing off towards the end to allow some less favoured entrant a chance at glory. Glory being the word for having to pick up the bar bill which always exceeds the winnings!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Of course, we had it tough
The quietest day I have had in weeks is, as I write, about to get noisy. The good menfolk of Yorkshire were up at the crack of sparrows fart, diligently going about their working day “lickin roads clean wit tongue” or whatever they do as Monty Python would have it, whilst the woman of the house is scrubbing the front step, then scrubbing the washing on a stone, before leaving it on the washing line to get wetter with every passing shower.
Thus I am alone in the house and without the incessant chirupping of that nice lady decorator, who has an uncanny ability to stop my train of thought or interrupt me at a vital moment…hang on that’s the phone.
Yes, it was her, just to see how I was getting on. Now, what was I saying? After a quiet day working – which at my intensity, is about a weeks worth for anybody else, I was ready to try to find a pint of amber nectar in the form of Timothy Taylors Landlord, probably at the Bracken Fox, luckily one of the only 2 pubs in Yorkshire, which I admit I was very lucky to discover.
However after I had battled through the elements, I found that they serve only something called Leeds Best. Now I invite you to spend a few seconds considering that incongruous title, Leeds Best. If you follow football then it does not bode well. I risk life and limb with a timid request, do they perchance they have Fullers London Pride on draft?, the best beer in the world? but I suspect not, I reckon those sensible folk that run Fullers would never let any of their real products north of about Coventry. The reply is predictably frosty, a little like the weather was last night I should think..
So Leeds Best it was, something of a contradiction in terms methinks, but thirst is an easily gratified animal and I confess that with my thirst it was, after all, well, beer.
I considered a walk yesterday afternoon, between Wednesdays and Thursdays work schedule, but as usual the heavens opened and rain cascaded in sheets, this time accompanied by thunder, lightning and wind, the latter helped by some of my own production, possibly caused by the last vestiges of what I suspect was tripe laden pasta I was fed last night, departing my system.
So, with my weeks work finished a little earlier than I had expected, I contemplate one more full day in Yorkshire. So far the fake moustache and my genial attitude has allowed me to remain incognito, but I am aware that at any moment my harsh, but fair, comments about Yorkshire may be revealed.
The weather forecasters have finally forsaken their chirpy up beat predictions, and have reverted to form, so I suspect that cricket tomorrow will be fitful at best, and more likely the result may end up being decided in the bar.
breast bat
My picture today is of a bat called a Bosom Bat, being used by either an Australian or a Yorkshireman on Wednesday, how classy!
I discover that on Wednesday when I helped guide the Lords Taverners cricket team to a famous victory over our Australian counterparts, that we actually had a former England cricketer in our ranks in the form of Richard Blakey. Curiously for a wicket keeper, he wanted to bowl off breaks, which he did, badly and at considerable expense to the team. Dick, as he was known, certainly by me, during his spell of bowling, is a charming Yorkshire character nonetheless.
Also appearing for us was, one Chris Chittel, another charming old thespian who had a glint in his eye, taking time off from his role as Eric Pollard in Emmerdale Farm, apparently an everyday tale of Yorkshire folk.
Home on Saturday to dry out and warm up!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Left meets right in cricket shocker
Newby Park in Yorkshire was the scene of yet another cricketing triumph yesterday, where The Lords Taverners of Yorkshire beat the Lords Taverners from Newcastle, New South Wales in part of the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival. Beating any Australians at cricket will always have a special place in my heart, and the game was watched by former England cricket Captain Ray Illingworth.
A great treat to play with loads of fascinating people. Fraser Hines, the actor of Emmerdale Farm and Dr Who fame (he tells me is was the longest-serving companion in the series), who is 66, going in 19 was in the team. His enthusiasm for the game is surpassed by his ability to play it by the largest margin of anyone I have ever played with, but such a splendid eccentric thespian that he is, he was much appreciated by his team mates.
Bob Holland, who was a leg spinner for Australia was also in our opponents team. This of course means nothing to those who don’t understand that cricket if the finest game known to man, but to those that have seen the light it was special.
My first picture today shows the great leveler that cricket can be. Julien Dismore, TV producer for ITV, National Geographic, Sky etc, well-known left-wing political firebrand, recently canvassing in the General Election for his brothers attempt to secure Hendon for the Labour Party, is asked to open the batting with Nigel Adams, the new Conservative MP for Selby and Ainsty. Both are reputedly of the opinion that this picture does immense damage to their individual political reputations.
Julien Dismore on the right, Tory MP Nigel Adams on the left. neither would appreciate the description of their positioning in this photo!
The second picture graphically illustrates the sartorial elegance of the Australians. Obviously where they live, sun glasses (which are rarely required in Yorkshire) are a necessity, and can take many and varied forms. However this chap, a member of the visiting Australian team seems to have some link with Dame Edna Everage. As Rolf Harris famously remarked “can you see what it is yet?”
The grandfather of Dame Edna?
An evening of cricketing nostalgia with “Aggers” from Test Match Special and another former England Cricket captain, Chris Cowdray is followed by dinner at Brio in Harrogate, where I meet several other left-wing firebrands who are clearly at home in a fashionable up-market restaurant and do not see the irony of their presence in a capitalist fleshpot!
Despite my receiving Pasta with something described as “with Tuscan sausage”, I am firmly convinced that I have been slipped some tripe in tomato sauce. Also, those bitter chocolate biscuits had more than a hint of black pudding about them, thus my constitution today will no doubt suffer until the effects of this poisoning have worked their way through the system as it were.
Today I am going to continue my new trade as a writer. I shall need to be within dashing distance of a lavatory, and in any event the weather is far too bad to venture out, so I shall sit by my hosts peat fire and dream of the sunshine that awaits me when I return to France from Saturday onwards.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Monsoon, tripe and black pudding
I know it was stupid. After leaving the campsite near the seaside in Biot and putting Bluebell the camper out to grass at the Wingco’s, an adjournment to lunch at Auberge St Donat seemed fitting.
The best thing about that restaurant is that wine is included in the 14.50 euros fixed menu, about £12 at todays exchange rate and with the inevitable evaporation that occurs naturally in a warm climate, one would normally expect a collection of empty bottles on the table by the time coffee arrives, and so it came to pass.
Having lunched well, and with a lift to the airport secured, a warm contentment settled over me, to the extent that I did not consider it necessary, nor did it cross my mind,to change my clothing before arriving at Manchester. Big Mistake.
Pakistan has monsoons, Manchester just has rain. All day. Every day, but no monsoon temperatures here, 15 degrees sounds cold, and I can tell that coming from a daytime temperature close to double that, comparatively, it was. Dressed as I was in beach shorts, sunglasses and a flimsy shirt, my lack of proper preparation for the climate was discovered almost immediately.
The train from Manchester to Leeds was all of the following; late, overpriced, dirty, ill-equipped, uncomfortable, no bar facilities, no air conditioning, no phone charger or laptop charging sockets. In other words much as I had expected and much as I had predicted, welcome back to the old country!
Yorkshire loomed under a baleful sky, but at least night masked the full horror of what I imagine to be the tripe, black pudding and Yorkshire Pudding fields. Well they must grow the stuff somewhere…
Manchester monsoon
I had grown used to french trains over the past week or so, air-conditioned, plug sockets available to charge one’s phone, an ongoing and precise commentary on our progress, all were as unexpected as they welcome, and at fraction of the cost of rail transport in the UK.
Today, weather permitting of course, and as I write it is raining, I shall indulge in playing cricket, and will then go to an evening of some sort hosted by former England player and Test Match Special commentator Jonathon Agnew, “Aggers” as he is known. He will be accompanied by Chris Cowdray, another English cricketer of note, son, of course of one of England’s greatest cricketers, Colin Cowdray.
That nice lady decorator has wisely decided to stay in France, and leave us cricket loving weirdos to our own devices. I am the guest of another cricket fan, John Surtees, formerly of ITV where he was chief cutter and slasher of the Yorkshire TV workforce, and is widely credited with closing the in-house bar. Rumour has it that he was so good at cost efficiencies he even sacked himself! Suffice to say that he is no longer employed at YTV, but instead is now searching for new TV opportunities for The Chuckle Brothers!
I am to play for the English Lords Taverners against the Australian Newcastle Lords Taverners, although how you can have an Australian version of the Lords Taverners defeats me.
Amongst my team mates are several actors, including Fraser Hines who was apparently appeared in something called Emmerdale Farm, perhaps it is one of those farms growing tripe? (Better than writing it, I hear some of you say…) and former Yorkshire, and I think England, cricketer Richard Blakey.
I am here until Saturday and will play again on Friday, weather and body reaction permitting. This veterans tournament has apparently attracted teams from New Zealand, South Africa and Australia, the latter of which will provide our opponents, so no mention of The Ashes then……
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Purring on the beach
Galoshes, sou wester’, waders and emergency rations are all packed, ready for my trip to the frozen north. Tripe protection kit, black pudding warning system, mobile generator, and hefty winter clothing all are necessities in this inhospitable land called Yorkshire. Such is “summer” up north.
I am supposed to be playing cricket a couple of times over the next few days, but the “weather permitting” indicators are all pointing to several days stuck in the only pub in Yorkshire. The only upside will be if that pub sells Timothy Taylors Landlord, about the only beer good enough to be imported into the sultry south.
As if to emphasise the different climates, for my last day in civilisation this week, we went to Jazz Plage in Juan Les Pins for shashimi for that nice lady decorator, and moules frites for me, the latter no doubt helping me with a small cholesterol problem that seems to have developed. We are suitably attired in swimming shorts and bikinis, not the latter for me you understand. I am thinking of packing some swimming shorts just to show my Yorkshire friends what they look like. I suspect there is not too much swimming in Scunthorpe or Grimsby, so swimming shorts could be as rare as a trophy, like ivory or diamonds to us civilised folk.
My afternoon snooze on the sun bed is rudely and roughly ended by that nasty female painter who objects to what she calls my snoring. I took a picture from where I was which is shown below.
A nice snooze after a nice lunch? no
Patiently I explanade (which regular readers will recognise means to attempt an explanation when drunk) that I am merely purring quietly with pleasure, but she will have none of it, and so snooze suspended indefinitely. To say that I am a little peeved by this would be something of an understatement, kids playing ball, waves breaking on the beach, waterskiing, banana boating and jet skis creating a pleasant beach cacophony, but my purring is deemed unacceptable? Balderdash. Just let one guttural exclamation leave her lips if she dozes off and she will awaken as if a red-hot poker has entered her anatomy!
So, no pleasing afternoon nap for me, more rose is called for and duly ordered. Apparently it is more acceptable on the beach for me to be hog whimperingly drunk and act accordingly, than to purr quietly where the sound of the waves and holidaymakers enjoying them selves drown whatever sounds I allegedly make.
Bitter? me? Yes.
Talking of healthy eating, which I wasn’t, as I was discussing the Yorkshire diet, I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes. This is clearly more of a reason to eat red meat, fois gras and drink red wine that I had originally thought.
Our last night on the campsite we were given the chance to involve ourselves in something called “Bucking Bronco”. From what I could make out, it seems to be a kind of torture involving hanging on to a machine by a rope and waiting to be thrown off, entertainment indeed! No problem we thought, there is a nice little bar at the end of the road, which when we strolled down were amazed to find that it was closed on a Monday. Never mind that the place will be deserted 6 months of the year, they close on a Monday and will always close on a Monday, so much for commercial reality!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Poor behaviour at 60th birthday party shocker
I have just seen the manager of Le Pylon sweeping up leaves whilst wearing crocs. I idly wondered if that doyenne of the croc world, Mike Hardacre (with a K) from Anglo Info has camping crocs, and, if so, do they have uses for that other type of camping, and if that were the case, would they be pink?
Le Provencal golf course, formerly known as St Phillippe, before it was purchased by the guys renovating that huge beach complex in Juan Les Pins, was the nine-hole course chosen as the venue for pre lunch golf for Paul Thornton Allan who today enters his 7th decade. The golf course must be 10 miles from the Provencal complex, surely they will not be implying that their complex includes golf? Anyway having witnessed Paul’s golf on several occasions, and at a loss for ideas for a birthday present, I had a brain wave, golf lessons!
In pure net terms, my 44 shots for 9 holes was enough to win it, along with a couple of others, but due to the variable birthday handicap, the tournament was won by Birthday Boy Paul Thornton Allan, with one more point than anyone else.
As organiser, I had previously received strict instructions from the formidable, as she is beautiful, Lisa Thornton Allan, about whom should be victorious, and took the sensible, some may say the cowards option and complied.
The big birthday event duly commenced at lunch yesterday. So much material, so little space. The first of my 5 pictures today, bit of a colour supplement don’t you think? features Bill Colegrave, writer, builder and bon viveur peaking rather too early and taking a short rest between festive events.
Bill Colegrave, "resting between courses". Note the strategically placed glass of wine, so that he would not need to move to be able to continue consumption
I don’t quite know what the Wing Commander (front left) was doing in this picture, nor what Wayne Brown from FR2day thinks about the placement of the Wingco’s hand, but as far as I am aware the police were not required.
Wing Commander Spensley cuddling up to Wayne Brown plus other revellers
However I do know what he is doing in this one!
The Wing Commander, exhausted by his latest sortie, takes a nap
Finally I have a pictures of the Bigger Picture, birthday boy himself, Paul Thornton Allan with Mark Gurdon preposterously dressed in a frilly shirt, which he said was originally intended as a present, but did not pass the fierce quality control measures applied by Mrs Thornton Allan.
Paul Thornton Allan and Englebert Humperdinct
I hear that David Stoyle from Fr2day considers reading this missive as a bit like watching Coronation Street, something that you love to do but would not admit to in polite company.
Today is our last day if camping, so a quiet one, whilst I must pull together all my winter clothing in readiness for my trip to Yorkshire tomorrow. This is a bad enough prospect, but upon my return, the dreaded Banjo will be out of prison kennels, so one source of irritation, discomfort and poor behaviour will be replaced by another.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
French train timetable authors Yarn spinners?
The Wing Commander is appalled that his time keeping is in question. Perhaps it is just the rest of us that are early? Today rather busier than normal due to the organisation required to ensure that the 60th Birthday golf tournament is a success. Of course as organiser, I shall expect to win, and therein will be an indication of if I judge the event a success, but I may have to slow up and take a dive so that “birthday boy” can have a happy day, as per my instructions from the very sensuous but steely eyed spouse of the subject of our celebrations.
I do so like the french train timetables. There is was, in black and white, a train from Cannes to Biot at 12.19am . I was contemplating a nice run along the coast of the Med in air-conditioned comfort for some 2.70 euros but, in time-honoured fashion, the last train was not even on the display, not cancelled, not late, just…not there. Clearly a figment of the imagination of the printers of the french railway timetables. A taxi was eventually secured, not air-conditioned, and driven by an evil-smelling, coughing French man, who spent at least of half of the journey trying to remove the grenouille from his larynx.
His generosity could not be questioned however, as he demanded a mere 39 euros for a 4 mile ride in phlegm splattered hell with that nice lady decorator using her pashmina as a face mask.
It reminds me of an acquaintance some 30 years ago or more who worked for Yellow Pages. He had bought a car from a garage called Adams Garage in Aylesbury. Said vehicle had been an absolute dog, but Adams Garage refused point-blank to honour their guarantee, so Adams Garage eventually found themselves listed in Yellow Pages for a full year under the heading “Yarn Spinners”.
Cannes at midnight before the nasally challenged journey home
I believe that this acquaintance joined the ranks of the unemployed fairly shortly afterwards. My son is in a similar position at present, having been in gainful employment as a gardener when we left for the summer, but the discovery of him, by the clients employing him and his friend, re-enacting a scene from Star Wars, impersonating Jedi Knights with lawn rakes, enforced a surprise change in his employment status.
Our camping phase is nearing an end, just a couple of days more of camping it up. Frankly another night of karaoke with the great unwashed of Warsaw and Brittany may be a treat too much. This has been camping more than glamping, and could not even have been contemplated in cold and wet England where I must venture again on Tuesday.
I meet Lin Wolff of The English Book Centre in Valbonne, who, upon hearing that I am about to depart for Yorkshire says “but after all you have said about it? Are you sure?”
Sure? Of course I am sure, salt of the earth those Yorkshire folk, always happy to take a joke and laugh at themselves, particularly if one buys them drinks. I suspect it will not be a cheap trip. At least a barrell of beer will cost less than a 4 bmile taxi ride!
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Currencies Direct meeting shock
Peter Lynn is a snitch. Snitching is an old english expression describing that very low moral practice of when someone passes on a confidential aside, and it is my sad duty to reveal that Peter Lynn is a guilty man. That nice lady decorator who follows me around was alerted to yesterdays blog (which she would not normally read) by a cut and pasted abbreviation of yesterdays episode in which I gently suggested that she is good at complaining. She would not accept my rather feeble and, it has to be said, unplanned and hastily assembled defence, that I was suggesting that complaining was in fact an art form, and that she was the best exponent I had ever come across, so I was less than popular even before we set out to Nice for my Currencies Direct meeting.
We were on a tight schedule for the evenings projected festivities after being seduced into a couple of post meeting beers, so my decision to leave my bag containing my computer and various other difficult to replace items at the meeting venue in Nice was greeted, I think it is fair to say, with something less than excited enthusiasm. Being late for a business meeting is deemed perfectly acceptable by that nice lady decorator, but to be late for a social occasion, even a fashionable 20 minutes, is a sin punishable by no less than stoning or castration and probably both in her book, so in her opinion, my clearly pre-conceived decision to delay the start of serious drinking by leaving these items behind, and having to catch a train back to Nice was a deliberate attempt to upset her. I rather stupidly pointed out that actually I was right, that she is a brilliant complainer, but I fear the irony was lost on her. Certainly this patently unsuccessful defence did not get the evening off to the best start I have ever experienced.
Earlier in the day, I received a surprise invitation to play tennis in Opio. Wing Commander Spensley was the organiser, and splendid chap that he is, organisation and time keeping are not his strong suits. Indeed, there are a select few that know the meaning of a “Spensley”. For the uninitiated it is a unit of time of about 7 minutes. Hence if tennis is arranged for say 10.00, he will show up a “Spensley” late, ie 10 07. So predictable was the fact that the Wing Commander would be a Spensley late that we would suggest playing at, say, 09.53 calculating that Spensley time would then dovetail with normal time, which the rest of us recognise. This was never effective however, due, I think to some rule of higher mathematics which dictates that whenever he suspects an attempt to negate a Spensley, the normal value of a Spensley is doubled. I cannot explain it, I just know it to be true. Anyway, the MOG’s (moustachioed old gits) were rampant in the first set, winning 6-3, but we eased off in the second set, mainly because MOG senior (as he is also called) amused himself so much laughing at his own joke, his serve suffered and so we accepted an honourable draw.
Tradition dictates that post tennis lunch is taken at the Auberge St Donat, which was as good as always, solid food, well cooked without frills. A welcome respite from the tourist ridden hinterland that is August down here.
Hats off to Lucy from Red Radish
Last night to Cannes, to dinner with the Gurdons, Wayne from Fr2day and Lucy from Red Radish. Lucy, pictured today, was clearly impressed by Wayne’s ability to wear many hats and decided to show on a recent photo, and sought to emulate him.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Pink Pilot or Puce Pilot?
Gremlins are at work as yesterdays missive failed to post again, so you get a double dose today, but if you think I have problems, spare a thought for those poor people in Pakistan, washed away in a flood of biblical proportions after monsoon rains. I hear from Peter Lynn that a charity single is planned called “Raindrops Keep Falling On Ahmed”
It was much the same for a time here yesterday. We left Golfe Juan after an interesting lunch at La Cigale on the port. It is a Lebanese restaurant and quite authentic. My moussaka and mixed grill were both very good, whilst that nice lady decorator tucked into Kebbe and taboule salad without complaint from her, a comparative rarity in restaurants, well anywhere actually, and about anything! Complaining is of course an art form, and the current Mrs France has managed to perfect her technique over the years by fastidious study of this form of expression. You will realise of course that she is not a regular reader of this column, otherwise I might receive a complaint….
Leaving Golfe Juan at around 2 30pm in bright sunshine and a strong breeze which made the 30 degree temperatures wonderfully bearable, we noticed that storm clouds had gathered over the mountains.
For us it was a refreshing thundery shower but nearby Cannes, was littered by golf ball sized hailstones, as my picture today shows.
a hail stone collected in Cannes yesterday
Tonight we shall allow Wayne many hats Brown from FR2day to entertain us at his summer apartment. I mention this only because it gives me another opportunity to use my picture of him from the last night we were in Cannes together tomorrow if I can find it.
Due to a dispute with an ex partner I have suddenly had to change my email address to chrs.france@gmail.com and have been sending out emails to everyone I know to ensure they delete the old one. I have asked all to respond to confirm they have it, but the Wing Commander merely sends an email (to the new address) saying that he cannot confirm receipt. I have re-sent it and asked again to confirm. He has replied that he definitly does not have it and does not want it. This could go on for some time.
Last night to Juan Les Pins (on the train) to meet relatively unknown friend Jo Caston. Jo is from Manchester, so I have to be extra polite as I have form when it comes to being brutally honest about conditions “up north”. Tundra, ox carts, no electricity, peat fires, that sort of thing. Also there was Calvin whose surname luckily for him I did not get. Known as “the pink pilot” this was clearly an in joke to which I was not privy, although apparently he prefers the description “puce pilot”. I will report more if I ever get to the bottom of it! Also there two wonderful attractive girls, Suzanne and Jackie who have opened a ceramic cafe called La Tasse De Couleur in Biot. This is an unknown commercial activity for me, it seems one can visit the cafe, design ones own piece of pottery and they fire it in their kiln. A somewhat bizarre enterprise but suddenly I can think of individual presents that could be made with rude or inapproriate references…
I have important Currencies Direct business in Nice. Work often encroaches on my leisure time, but this will be more pleasure than just business as I will meet my Friends In France, Janey and Mira to discuss the promotion of this clearly superior currency transfer business for all those poor ex-pats in Nice who are still paying their banks at least 3% more than they need to for forex.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Killer Queen – apt name
Despite having to get up in the middle of the night to play golf at a 6 55 am tee off time at Opio Valbonne, the handicap system finally threw up the right result. Modesty forbids me revealing the winner but I think regular readers may have an inkling.
Protagonists were Brian Robertson, Peter Bennett from Blue Water Yachting and his brother Andy. Brian has the unfortunate affliction of being Scottish, for all that he is a charming man who has none of the almost omnipresent traditional Scottish meanness about him, generously missing a put (of about 40 feet) on the last green for a half.
Andy Bennett however was entirely different. Dressed as he was, rather inappropriately, in those garments that are neither shorts nor long trousers, but stuck somewhere in between.
Apparently garments of this nature are de rigueur on the council housing estates of Great Britain and although I am happy for those sad unfortunates to find a uniform they feel comfortable in, I for one hope the fashion will not spread.
He made several comments that indicated he was not local, and indeed he is here on vacation. “A south of France 4” was one expression I noted which seemed to imply that the rules of golf are not applied as strictly down here as in England. However his mathematical acumen was found wanting when it was patiently explained to him that 3 hits and a penalty made 4. I think he got it eventually but there some muttering and gnashing of teeth.
Later on the terrace nursing a cold beer at the 19th, Peter tried to explain to his mathematically challenged brother the city practice of “shorting”. After torturous and repeated explanations he was clearly none the wiser, I believe that it will still be the expression he uses when on visits his barbers, although when one is as folically impoverished as he, I imagine visits of that nature are quite rare.
Peter Bennett however, like his business Blue Water Yachting, exudes class. That was until a couple of pieces of bad luck seemed to light a blue touch-paper within, the classy swing disappeared and was replaced by a whirling dervish, seemingly intent on hitting every drive 300 metres. However at the 19th that icy calm veneer returned, not even to be disturbed by brother Andy “noticing” a rather attractive young waitress and making several very obvious trips to the bar to get a better look by retrieving peanuts, etc.
Last night Le Pylone campsite, our current home, offered the supposed delights of a band calling themselves Killer Queen. This was too delicious a prospect to miss, with a great deal of comedic potential. One of the great bands of all time who became a pastiche of themselves in later years, pastiched? However they were so awful it was not even funny. The lead singer was a girl. She was quite a large lass, but seemed oblivious irony of opening with “Fat Bottomed Girls”. Her inability to sing was matched by the joint ineptitude of the band, and after the destruction of several more Queens songs, The joke wore thin and we left for the bar up the road which had a great old jazz/blues band playing who I picture here
Band in Biot, actually Killer Queen should be band in Biot
Sunday sees a significant event. One of my close friends, whose name I cannot reveal, will be entering his 7th decade. A surprise intimate lunch will be taken after 9 holes of golf at Le Provencal in nearby Sophia Antipolis. One of those attending will be Wayne Brown at FR2day, who is so decrepit nowadays he says he will only come if he can have a buggy, drive it, have females to attend to his every need and doesn’t have to hit a golf ball.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Democracy, female style
Duno what happened, this should have published yesterday, so sorry, anyway we had a democratic vote, the beaches of Juan Les Pins, Cannes or nearby Villeneuve Loubet for lunch. There was two votes for Cannes, and only one for the latter, but what I hadn’t realised was the votes from adult females count double, and in the event of a tie, the adult female has the casting vote. Thus we had lunch in Villeneuve Loubet, close to Biot as a result of this truly democratic decision.
I do so love it when democracy over rides personal preferences and produces what some see as the right result. She tells me not to mention that we are in Villeneuve Loubet because “its crap there”, so I will not. However, she is wrong, we lunch at Paradise Beach, which perhaps over states its allure, but it is quite charming, if small collection of beach restaurants, some 400 metres from the Bay Des Anges, near Nice, the famous modern curved collection of apartments, visible to all when landing at Nice airport. The Salads are good if not spectacular, and the house rose is drinkable (unlike any rose served to us in England recently). The beach is busy, quite pretty, but stones never appeal to me the way sand does, but with our proximity to the waves, something that with the tides in England can never really be, and the sparkling azure sea plus the necessary holiday intake of quite a nice Provencal rose, all is well with the world, as my picture today attempts to portray.
Paradise Beach at Villenueve Loubet
An invitation to play golf this morning was accepted before Peter Bennett, head honcho at Blue Water Yachting, who must be commended for rescuing me from literally literal oblivion, revealed the tee off time. 06.55. I was unaware that one could play golf in the dark, but he assures me it will be light. If fact I think there is a rather tasteless joke about Tiger Woods and Stevie Wonder about night time golf, anyway, The last time I was up that early, although it was quite recently, it was that late rather than that early, if you get my drift! He says that he is then able, after a round of golf, to put in a full day of work. I suggest that 2 hours intensive labour after an exhausting (and I suspect costly in betting terms) round of golf must be debilitating, but I receive that withering look that suggests I do not fully understand the world of yacht charter. Still, he should be finished in time for lunch, surely?
I have been invited next week to play in a veterans celebrity cricket tournament. It is for the over 40’s so I just about qualify although I accept I may have to use some ageing makeup. I accept with a happy heart, I realise I have missed the cut and thrust of the game after guiding Little Horwood to a famous victory recently. Then, like a dagger to the heart, it was revealed that said tournament was to be staged in….Yorkshire. Regular readers will know that I have sometimes been a trifle blunt about the county, and blunt seems to sum up the Yorkshire spirit. Blunt or gruff. But you have to admire their stoic optimism, they honestly believe there is no other place than Yorkshire to live, whereas I know the complete opposite to be the truth. Anyway I will “grin and bear it” as I think the local wits would have it.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Writers style cramped
Inspiration is such a fickle animal. However, I know that mentioning animals in my first sentence will grab the attention of Steve Weston at least and probably lead to inspiration. To be faced with a blank screen and a blank mind with a goal of 600 words is a writer’s nightmare.
Yes, a writer. I have now been paid for the first time for writing, so I lay claim to being a writer. A short 5 km walk from Biot to Antibes this morning to collect said payment became ill-advised as the temperature soared above 32 degrees at 10.30, so by the time I arrived at the Bluewater, the commissioners of my writing, it is fair to say that I did not look my best. I needed a shower but looked as though I had just had one fully clothed.
Lunch was taken at the new Beer and Curry restaurant in Antibes, which given the name of the place was more upmarket than I expected. Satay sticks were very good in a homemade peanut sauce, and a nice array of international beers, which of course required some rigorous testing.
Rather worryingly this morning, that nice lady decorator asked what I was writing about in this blog, and did I ever mention her. When I said it was often about my friends like the Wing Commander, she asked me if I was always kind about them. Now I think regular readers don’t want to hear platitudes about people you don’t know, what I think they want is salacious gossip, character assassination, and the be-smirching of good names by association with places, people and events. Thus it was a difficult question to answer truthfully. So I considered doing the decent thing and lie. But then I considered that perhaps I am doing a decent thing, confronting people in, I hope, an amusing way about their shortcomings (actually the spellcheck picked up the misspelling of shortcomings as “shirtcomings” which in the case of Mr Weston and Mr Brown may be more apt. (See yesterdays blog and earlier). But then I thought, ….what bull shit, so I lied.
Today I have important business in Valbonne. Work never ceases for us business types or writers, I even have to do work on my holidays, however if you work at the intensity that I do, then that can all be taken care of before lunch – as long as you are prepared to start as early as 11am. I will then begin to prepare for golf with Mark Gurdon who will be in Cannes and is looking to me for his usual golf lesson this week some time. My picture today shows him in a rather difficult stance at The Badger at Weston Turville Golf Club recently on one of the wetter days we experienced in England.
Mark Gurdon up the hill and down and out at Chiltern Forest Golf Club
Today we are going to decide at which beach we should eat lunch. Life is that tough. My preference would be Le Petit Plage at Juan Les Pins, whilst that nice lady decorator favours Rado Plage at Cannes, so we may have to agree to disagree and do what she wants.
Chris France
buying a house in France, moving money? www.currenciesdirect.net/chrisfrance
Latest local news? http://www.fr2day.com/
Best Estate Agency in Valbonne? http://www.rivierarealty.net/
Best French Riviera Property Agent?
http://www.afa-international.com/
http://frenchriviera-properties.com/
rent my house in summer? http://www.holiday-rentals.co.uk/p412514
Best on line resource in Valbonne? http://www.valbonneonline.com/
Secret supper club http://www.red-radish.com/
Wedding reception? http://www.bastidestmathieu.com/
Valbonne Tourist Office http://www.tourisme-valbonne.com
Top quality interior designer? http://www.marineguigue.com/
John Otway’s New Book? www.johnotway.com
Modular portable exhibition system? http://www.creative-village.co.uk/web_ads/bigger_picture.html
Living France, Le Blog http://livinginfrance.mon-coach-langues.com
Best Estate Agent in Mandelieu? www.chrisma.com
Chris France's Blog 