Charleston charlatans

Last week, That Nice Lady Decorator announced one morning that we were going to Charleston. Dread filled every fibre of my being. “But it is in America and you know what I think of septics” I said using the rhyming slang for Americans. “Not that one, the one in East Sussex” came her reply. So she who must be obeyed instructed me to buy tickets to see where the horrid dance originated, or so I thought, but it seems this Charleston is a farmhouse in Sussex synonymous with The Bloomsbury Set, a collection of artists and writers from the 1920’s. I am afraid to say that my joke about them all being charlatans from Charleston fell on stony ground, and so I had to endure an hour-long tour of an admittedly, very attractive farmhouse and gardens, whilst being regaled with stories about this bunch of “artists”, almost to a man (or women – don’t want to have to employ a GAWP CARD click here for details) conscientious objectors”. Now regular readers of this column will know that I will have no truck with modern art. It is all appalling, without exception. The only thing impressive about it has been its ability to fool enough people for enough time for the likes of the Charleston charlatans to trouser some serious cash. The Emperors New Clothes.

Although I have some admiration for their hippy lifestyle on the 1920’s where all sorts of shagging and changes of partners seemed to be the norm, the fact remains that almost all the paintings in the farmhouse were juvenile daubs, the ceramics embarrassing misshapen rejects and the fabric designs childlike. Worse still, the house was rented throughout their tenure and they also painted on most of the walls and furniture, something that would have had the landlord apoplectic in today’s society. Delinquents all of them.

Ok, that should get some reaction!

I am now well on my way to completing my autobiography provisionally entitled “40 Years Trying Not To Get A Proper Job” which I hope will be ready for Christmas, and will be ideal opportunity for many of you to buy some copies for people you don’t like. As I am summering and simmering in Arundel, We arrived back in time for The World Cup which gave the country a lift, but imagine what it was like back in France, however the picture of the tournament for me was this chap with 3 Lions on His Chest, which I publish today.

Stevie Wonder, A true English football fan

Normally, That Nice Lady Decorator and I leave France for the summer and return to Arundel to avoid the heat and to enable us to enjoy a cool English summer and get away from the summer heat in France, and save exchanging £ for euros through the excellent services of Currencies Direct. However, if you are living in England, you will know that it has not gone well.  As I write we are suffering 30 degrees again.

Chris France