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Dumb waiter gets a ticking off

May 2, 2014

You know you are going to have trouble when Peachy Butterfield is in charge of arrangements. It is not so much that things don’t go well, it is just that he likes to leave a lot of time for aperitifs and is always punctual so as to maximise the amount of time for indulging.

With the Chinese restaurant in Valbonne booked for 7.30, the timing of aperitifs at 5.30 looked a tad early to me, but being in starvation rations for two days, and not having had a drink since Monday, I was gagging for the off. Peachy had thoughtfully arranged for the web, our outside bar, to be the venue for apero’s and so the pressure was in us to get the web straight for the first social occasion of the summer.

With everything newly painted and scrubbed by That Nice Lady Decorator, and with the sun shining, it was a perfect start to the evening, but with Simon “Chateau Gloria” having checked the wine list before heading to the restaurant in Valbonne, and a rather enthusiastic bout of over-imbibing, we decided to take a couple of bottles of St Emilion Grand Cru with us to the restaurant. I think that gives you some idea of how enthusiastic we had been.

Now to the restaurant. Having agreed corkage for our wine, and ordered, we waited and drank, and waited some more. After an hour or so in which time only a few miserly starters had appeared, That Nice Lady Decorator was getting restive. She does not do hunger well, and having, with me,  just completed two 5:2 diet days on the trot, was beginning to digest herself from the inside. And that was her excuse for getting in to the dumb waiter as my picture today captures. She said she was going in search of the food. She failed.

dumb waiter valbonne

Dumb waiter gets just desserts

My prawns in satay were delightful, spicy and perfect, however either the rest of the menu is not very good or my fellows diners chose unwisely, as the general consensus was that it was quite ordinary and took a long time to arrive. I think the jury is still out. We all had a great time, partly fuelled by that Grand Cru.

The Chinese is almost next door to La Kavanou, Valbonne’s wine bar of choice, and so it seemed perfectly reasonable to pop in for a night-cap. It was there that we espied satisfied Currencies Direct customer the Master Mariner Mundell, sucking on his e-cigarette outside. Thus Simon, who is an even bigger smoker of fine cigars than myself, produced two Monte Christo No 2’s and we joined him for a smoke in the balmy back streets of Valbonne. I love being back in the south of France. Doubtless I will love being back in Arundel in July. I have a great life.

The Master and I had a chat about the boys lunch at the Auberge St Donat today, but he seems to have misunderstood the whole concept. He has a girl friend over from the UK, whom he has invited, and he suggested that Dangerous Jackie Lawless should come, as well as That Nice Lady Decorator. I asked him if he had ever been to a boys lunch before, and did he know that the whole idea was to meet and eat to the exclusion of girls? Did he for instance know that it is supposed to be boys only? Clearly not. So with the male based foundations collapsing, lunch today will be a bisexual affair, if you get my drift (did you see what I did there? Mariner, drift?).

Chris France


3 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    May 2, 2014 11:39 am

    With no Chinky delights until later,
    Issy headed towards the dumb waiter
    Her spirits were low,
    Coz the food was so slow,
    And a ‘lift’, she thought, might ‘elevate’ er’ !!


  2. helen permalink
    May 3, 2014 9:17 am

    Yay !! good one Rev.


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