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Jewish lightning?

April 10, 2014

With man flu still imposing its inexorable grip on my good nature and well-being, I needed some good news and that came when it was discovered that the bag I had left at Gatwick early Tuesday morning – whilst in the vice-like grip of full on man flu – was in the hands of the “meet and greet” chauffeur parking chaps I had employed to look after my car whilst I was away. They had “found”my bag in the seating area of the Orange car park. They were supposed to be cleaning the car as part of the service, but clearly there had been unexpected bird strike (a reference to the ability of birds to deposit their detritus on cars) in the moments before they had delivered it back to me in the car park. I did not take issue with the fact that they had not bothered to contact the Gatwick Airport lost property organisation to relate that they had found my bag – despite two days having elapsed since the loss – instead being willing to see that omission as an unfortunate oversight with an agreeable outcome. Had several more days elapsed before I had made the long shot call to them to ask if they had seen my luggage, the cynic in me may have veered towards a belief that they were waiting for sufficient time to pass for the disappearance of the bag to be just another insurance statistic, with a quiet division of the spoils a week or so hence, after the owner had given up any hope of seeing his property again. Anyway, I was delighted by the return of my chattels and was happy to celebrate great British tradition of honesty and integrity, until reality checked in a little later.

So the top down on the Merc, I speeded towards Gatwick to retrieve said items and returned diligently to talk to some potential beneficiaries of the services of Currencies Direct and so my cup runneth over.

sun sets over Arundel

Sundown in Arundel

It was in the early evening, with the sun going down in the garden, and with Terribly Tall Timothy Taylor enjoying a large glass of white wine, after performing the task of drilling and screwing the new Brewery Cottage sign to the side of the house. This in readiness for the hordes of tourists who have rented our house whilst we are away, so whilst we enjoyed a small libation as the sun went down, I learned a new expression. “Jewish Lightning”, he said, when I asked what had become of the Abercrombie Arms, a pub that had existed further down the road on the 80’s. It seems that it had caught fire in mysterious circumstances, and, was the subject of an insurance claim, so, apparently, hence the expression. Perhaps there was the slightest suggestion that arson had been involved? surely not?

This seemed a slightly anti-Semitic attitude to me, implying that our Jewish brothers might have exercised some control over a natural disaster, which had led to the demise of an interesting old pub, but I like to think that is a fallacy. I believe the implication was that as a race, they are often more organised than most and more tuned in to the dangers of life in general, but I could be wrong.

So today will be our last full day in Arundel as we set off for the Isle Of Wight on Friday afternoon. The dodgy dog has been sent to prison whilst the final preparations are made and I must prepare to sleep in my office this evening. Clearly I am too messy to be allowed in the house that close to the rental season.

Chris France

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