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Stony ground may produce result

March 20, 2014

And some fell on stony ground. That should get the Reverend Jeff’s full attention, a biblical reference in the first line. That was the first reaction I received from that Nice Lady Decorator to the idea that the metaphorical seed I had scattered that I should go to Cyprus for a few days the weekend after next, to play cricket, and that perhaps she might like to join me.

I had discovered that my new bunch of pals of a certain age, connected with the Sussex Seniors, are about to embark on a cricket tour to the island, and had thought it a jolly jape to think about joining them. As I say, stony ground. It appears that there is much work to be done on and around the house prior to our departure to France (via the Isle Of Death Wight) on 11th April. But then it occurred to her that as she does all the work (I reserve myself for the more cerebral activities, such as writing this column, although I accept there are those amongst us that fail to appreciate its full greatness) whilst she is involved in getting the house ready for all the rentals she has taken, which involves decorating as well, that having me out from under her feet for a few days might be a god send (second biblical reference!). As I write I am awaiting confirmation that If I travel I can get a game of cricket, and if I can, permission may be granted. Obviously I would have to wait for that permission to be in writing, in triplicate, and it could be rescinded at anymoment, but at this stage it is not impossible that I shall be on a plane to Paphos courtesy of my friends at Easyjet in the very near future. Perhaps it was the realisation that she could have a few days without me banging on about the benefits of Currencies Direct that changed her mind. Otherwise I can think of no good reason why my absence for a few days might be condoned or even actively encouraged, as it was.

enema can

Spotted at a  Fisherponds Plantation House in Barbados

This was the only news that lightened yesterday morning. At least I remembered the bike when leaving to take exercise, but it being the first full 5:2 diet day since arriving back from Barbados, and raining by mid afternoon and with hunger, constipation (hence today’s photo) and depression taking a grip, I decided to raise my spirits by starting to write this column for you, dear reader. By 5pm I was back to my sparkling and witty best. The reason, apart from the pure quality of my prose, was that I encountered Nearly Hairless Nick in the Co Op across the road as I was desolately looking at low-calorie fruit options.

Why did this raise my spirits? He revealed that he had seen That Nice Lady Decorator outside with some T-cut, the material one uses to polish out scratches on ones vehicle. She has a shiny new soon -to-be-skip, which I have been predicting will go down hill very quickly due to the actions of a certain catastrophic canine, to which she is unaccountably attached. I thought Banjo the dog had scratched the back sill of it, but she assures me that it was not him but one of his doggy friends. To my mind that is guilt by association. An accessory after the fact. Anyway, it was sufficient to raise my spirits a little ahead of a dry night watching TV.  By the way Reverend, how does a dog smell with no nose ?

Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    March 21, 2014 4:21 pm

    Just received this aggrieved limerick from your best pal Banjo !!

    I’m busy today…got my paw’s full,
    But I’d make Chris’s dog joke’s unlawful !
    A proboscis free hound ?
    How cruel does that sound?
    But the answer? It smells bloody awful !!!! Woof..woof…

    Like

    • March 22, 2014 7:54 am

      Boom boom!

      Like

  2. helen permalink
    March 21, 2014 8:40 pm

    Yes some fell on stony ground
    No more trips thought our Chris I’ll be bound
    But when Issy said yes
    Somehow Chris did’nt guess
    Happy end to his story was found .

    Like

    • March 22, 2014 7:54 am

      No, and then yes. See today when I get it published!

      Like

  3. helen permalink
    March 21, 2014 8:42 pm

    I like yours alot Rev. 🙂

    Like

  4. Rev. Jeff permalink
    March 21, 2014 10:44 pm

    Thank you Helen…and I like yours too ! Just you and me today by the look of it. Something we said do you think……?

    Like

    • Helen Blackburn permalink
      March 22, 2014 12:11 am

      Hahaha ….

      Like

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