Pigeon gets the bird

My corpulent old mate from up north, Peachy Butterfield, who has been the butt of my humour for some years, has sought to claim that the breeding and fancying of pigeons is an outdated and outmoded caricature of modern northern life, only for me to find, on a visit to Chester some years ago, a designated pigeon feeding area. I do not apologise for showing the photograph of it again today as I have many new readers who I know will be interested.

He is involved in defending the indefensible in a growing number of north versus south banter blogs which we are creating for yachting website Onboard Online. His latest is now published and you can read by clicking on banter blogs. In his latest column he seeks to argue that the pigeon had increased its status to such an extent that it appears on the menu at Gordon Ramsay’s three Michelin star restaurant in London. If that is true then no wonder they are feeding them up. And how easy to pick off a few when the freezer gets a bit low. And how clever to concentrate them all in one area before catching and eating them, or sending them down south for Gordon Ramsay to work his magic on this pestilential bird.

A northern delicacy now being farmed?

So to Guildford yesterday to visit the magnificent but fading Auntie Pam. Even the prospect of a ticket to Lords for the Test Match in July does not seem to be sufficient to spur her on to recovery. Also depressing was that as it was designated a 5:2 diet day, there was no real prospect of stopping at a pub in the way back, a pint of beer being 170 calories of ones 600 calories starvation regime maximum, so I had to content myself with very rewarding happy thoughts of the benefits of having a foreign exchange account with Currencies Direct instead.

Today will be better, infinitely better. Old pal and English Treasure John Otway is coming down to Arundel for the evening. We have important film business to discuss in connection with the Guardian Readers Poll’s 2nd best offering of 2013, Otway The Movie. That should take about 10 minutes and then it will be to the pub for a few pints followed by a curry and some red wine. The subject matter will change little.  If we go off message, and that message is all things Otway, he has a wonderful ability to steer the conversation back on course.

It is now less than two weeks to go before we head off to Barbados for the 50th birthday celebrations of another dyed-in-the-wool-northerner, Steve “trouble up ‘t mill” Jackson. I understand about one word in three that he utters and by using inspired guess work and utilising words of one syllable, I am still only able to make sense of one sentence in ten. He is however a thoroughly good chap , as evidenced by his inviting us along to witness all three of the 20/20 cricket matches between England and the West Indies in March. Of course it is not really proper cricket, that is Test Cricket which takes place over 5 days and does not involve the players wearing pyjamas with numbers printed in the back, but I am expecting a fine spectacle and local colour. The West Indies remains my favourite place in the world to watch cricket, narrowly eclipsing Lords, as I have very happy memories of witnessing the great Brian Lara beat the world record innings in Antigua nearly 20 years ago at the wonderful and charismatic St Johns, and again watching Test cricket in Barbados.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News