Another cricket debacle

I had dressed in my full cricket gear, freshly pressed whites, cricket shirt, sweater, cricket shoes and cricket box (the last accoutrement I have mentioned may have confused some of my French readers, so perhaps I should explain that a cricket box is an erm… abdominal protector. A cricket ball is hard and could damage some other balls if allowed free access), and was ready to pick up 91-year-old David Goulding DFC, to go to the over 60’s net practice at the Arundel Cricket School when the instructions were delivered.

Those orders involved going across the road to the Co Op and getting some mushrooms for our 5:2 diet day breakfast. “But I have all my cricket gear on, it is the middle of winter and will look stupid” I said, but one look at That Nice Lady Breakfast Preparer was enough, and so I braved the sniggering of the other customers as I waited in the queue to pay. The price of the mushrooms on the packaging was different to what they wanted to charge me, so I could not resist saying “how’s that?”. This will also be incomprehensible to my French readers, or people who do not understand cricket. Suffice to say to those that do understand, it was an appeal that was successful.

Another picture from the big bash at The Townhouse,featuring quite a few false moustaches

Actually, I have been asked by one of my limericists, still hard at it each day in the comments section of this Currencies Direct inspired column, to explain the rules of cricket. She is French and has a better vocabulary than I, and has often correctly pointed out when my grammar has been found wanting, which as many of you know is not infrequent. This I have found a website that explains it all perfectly.

Ok, that is the end of the public information section, on with the news. The nets went well, and I was not this week bowled by anyone over 70, so that was a move forward. My passenger enjoyed meeting up with some old friends, and, duty done, I returned home to prepare for MIDEM. I thought the best preparation would be a siesta as it has been an astonishing weekend and frankly, I am still jaded and elated in equal measure. The last straggler, Mr Otway, departed this morning and the clearing up began. I shall need to make several hour runs to the bottle bank methinks.

Today is my actual birthday, so I have made it to 60, despite the seeming intentions of many of my friends to put a premature end to my life. I would say that around 70% of the gifts I have received involve wine, champagne or spirits and 20% involve cigars. Thus my wine cellar has in many ways remained static, as they managed to drink most of what I had in stock. Still, break even is not a bad result.

I believe we must return to The excellent Townhouse for lunch, to settle the bill for the big bash and I believe I may be treated to that lunch, probably at my expense, by That Nice Lady Decorator. Then from Wednesday onwards there will have to be more rest and recouperation ahead of the next looming liver damaging event, the annual music industry gathering of MIDEM in Cannes this coming weekend. Departing Friday and returning Monday, it will be a full on weekend, so I have decided that I should be cosseted whilst away from home and working, so have booked the Carlton on the Croisette. Only a modest room you understand, not the top floor suite often frequented by Madonna and Elton John at 6000 euros a night.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News