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The Christmas party abyss approaches

December 20, 2013

Unforecast sunshine made the morning walk a joy. Well, comparative joy in that I did not hate it like the past few days when I have been slogging around the countryside in drizzle and had begun to look on-line at winter sun breaks in Tenerife.

The result however of all that walking is that those bathroom scales have now gone up in my estimation. They have long been the bane of my life, having partially, a long time after I started my walking and two-day fasting diet, begun to be somewhat contrite. For a month at least they were (it was?) a treacherous, lying, deceitful device, hell-bent on making a misery of my efforts to regain that Adonis like shape for which I am justly unrenowned, at least in recent decades, but under careful rehabilitation back into the world of truth and light, they have begun to regain my respect.

In order to test their resolve to continue to improve their skill set, but only to accommodate Auntie Pam you understand, we decided to celebrate the unexpected morning sunshine by going to the picturesque village of Bosham for a pint at the Anchor Bleu. Then a pint at the Crown and Anchor in Dell Quay. Then a pint… Ah no, that is where the normal bathroom-scales-defying pattern was interrupted. However this was more to do with our planned dinner out later at The Bay Tree courtesy of my dear Aunt, rather than any sudden spot-changing, character-altering aberration.

picture of Arundel castle

Arundel Castle looking splendid in the winter sunshine

Dinner at the Bay Tree in Arundel was magnificent. It really is a very fine restaurant. I have now discovered garlic roast potatoes and my life is now complete. Adjourning from there at after 10, we found that although the White Hart closes at 10 on weekdays, there were still a few stragglers drinking up, and managed to persuade James “Desperate Dan” the landlord that we were so thirsty and had so far to go home that we needed a drink and I am glad to say that his goodheartedness came shining through. He will get his reward in heaven (if he is stupid enough to believe). Reverend Jeff, can you make his reservation? Also in the pub was his fiancé, the mighty and beautiful Omega, looking splendid in a black short skirt and leopard print top. This is notable because it is an unwritten but widely known rule of the jungle in Arundel that leopard print is normally the exclusive domain of That Nice Lady Decorator. However after what looked to me like a brief bit of claw sharpening, everything went smoothly and we were ushered out into the appalling weather for the dash next door and home.

Now I know I had taken on board a pleasant sufficiency of wine, but I was in need of a cigar and one simply cannot smoke a fine Havana without a drink in ones other hand. It could have been worse, it could have been the vintage port that I have stocked for Christmas, but instead I settled on some fine Muga, a surprisingly good Spanish wine I happened across a decade ago and recently discovered nestling in the Majestic Wine Store.

So it is with a sore head that I write this daily missive, dedicated to the promotion of the good services of Currencies Direct, and steeling myself for the inevitable acceleration in the Christmas party abyss, which continues with a drinks party this afternoon at 5. Colin the Pirate and Sandra the Sultry Goddess are our hosts, so it will not be a quiet one…

Chris France
@Valbonne_News

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7 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff. permalink
    December 20, 2013 12:43 pm

    Colin the pirate was peg-less,
    A cannonball rendered him legless,
    He said ‘Chris come round here,
    I’ve a barrel of beer’.
    He’s now peg-less and legless and keg-less !!

    Like

    • December 20, 2013 1:08 pm

      Excellent!

      Sent from my iPhone

      >

      Like

  2. Helen permalink
    December 20, 2013 3:56 pm

    Chris’s idea of Nirvana
    is smoking a fine Havana
    if he had his way
    he’d have several a day.
    but then , none would be left for Manana

    Like

  3. Helen permalink
    December 20, 2013 3:58 pm

    That would leave him with none for Manana .
    Better ?

    Like

  4. Rev. Jeff. permalink
    December 20, 2013 4:43 pm

    Really like this Helen and feel free to ignore my probably unwanted idea but second line could have read

    ‘Is to smoke a fine Cuban Havana

    Then the last line

    ‘He lives for the now, sod Manana !

    Of course he wouldn’t say that if he had a dear old grandma he wanted to share his cigars with ?!!

    Like

  5. Helen permalink
    December 20, 2013 4:47 pm

    Hahaha like that even , more .. are we becoming a team? L.o.L ?

    Like

  6. Rev. Jeff. permalink
    December 20, 2013 5:58 pm

    Why not ?!!

    Like

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