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Spenser and the Laughing Horse

November 12, 2013

One more day of this and I will start looking at holiday brochures. Seduced by a glorious day on Sunday, with sparkling winter sunshine all around, it was down to earth with a bump yesterday as we were afflicted with my least favourite weather of all, sideways drizzle, all day. It just made the diet day that much more miserable. I know you are supposed to get light and dark in your life in order to appreciate the light, but if someone could please tell the rain gods that I know exactly how miserable it is on a wet day in November in England with nothing eat or drink, I would appreciate it. Tenerife looks nice, and I am beginning to regret my decision not to go to Brisbane for the first Ashes Test against Australia next week.

So still feeling a bit weak and shabby after that massive bout of gastroenteritis yesterday, For which incidentally, the plague of limericists infecting the comments section of this worthy column, were, almost without exception, rude about, decided to spend my time gainfully and get on an organise social occasions for those brief interludes during the week when I am allowed to eat and drink. First up is the inaugural winter meeting of the Arundel Luncheon Club, probably at Butlers in Arundel on Thursday. At present, at 5, this will be a good turnout, rivalling the number on our first outing, when lunch was fraught with disaster when the train failed to stop at Amberley, our chosen venue. An hour later and £20 for a taxi down from the first station at which the train had stopped , the event was eventually rescued to finish strongly, if a little behind schedule.

After the effect of that dodgy beer, I was still hallucinating a little, as you can see by my choice of picture today.


How heavy was that plant,? And why was it working, or more importantly what was it doing in the beach? Should we call the biology police?

Today is mercifully not a diet day, and as I missed my power walk yesterday, I shall be punishing myself by doing a little more than usual today. After putting to bed some business, writing a column for Onboard Online and signing up another lucky customer to Currencies Direct, I shall be on the look out for lunch and, with That Nice Lady Decorator expressing boredom with the weather, I expect her to be pliable when due consideration is given to the idea. We can discuss some upcoming events, such as the James Bond evening at the Kings Arms in Saturday evening, or the Neil “Are You Free” Humphries’ first stand up comedy show at the Laughing Horse in Lancaster Gate on this coming Sunday, to which we are scheduled to go. I have long thought of him as funny but for the most part I have been laughing at him rather than with him. Let us hope it will be the latter come Sunday night. He has revealed that he is very nervous about it so perhaps it was cruel of me to start the heckling several days ahead of the performance. I told him that I had arranged for my mobile phone to ring during his show, that I would answer it and call out “your taxi is waiting”.

I also wanted to ask him if “Spenser”, a local from Valbonne well known locally, and who was mercilessly caricatured in Neil’s book “Dairy Of A Somebody”, was likely to attend. It is almost certain by now that he will have read the offending chapter. On a completely different and unrelated note, I wonder if The Wingco will be there?

Chris France

7 Comments leave one →
  1. howzaaat permalink
    November 12, 2013 8:16 am

    “I am beginning to regret my decision not to go to Brisbane for the first Ashes Teat against Australia next week.”

    TEAT ?! You’re getting your sports a tit confused, aren’t you, chum ?


    • November 12, 2013 1:01 pm

      Just trying to make sure you are all awake. There is always at least one typo to try to catch you out…


  2. Patrick permalink
    November 12, 2013 8:47 am

    Heavy plant apparatus can grow
    Without soil and in rain, sleet or snow.
    They’ll take root where they please
    Just to cause a tight squeeze !
    A JCB is one you might know.


  3. Rev. Jeff permalink
    November 12, 2013 12:57 pm

    I like it Patrick !

    Brisbane’s a really nice city,
    But what’s all this stuff about titty !!
    If you’re going for the teat ?
    Then I hope you’re discreet.
    P.S. Don’t show Issy this ditty !!

    Of the cricket he keeps well ‘abreast’
    Has he ‘boobed’ missing out on the ‘Test’ ?
    It’s a ‘teat’ not to roam,
    When the ‘bosom’ of home
    Is saying ‘Just tit down and rest’ !!

    Sorry Betty !!!!


    • howzaaat permalink
      November 12, 2013 2:04 pm

      Utterly brilliant, Rev. ! I particularly like the second — it’s very, very clever… even Betty would recognise that, I feel sure !


  4. Rev. Jeff permalink
    November 12, 2013 3:31 pm

    Far too generous H…but much appreciated !! They have to be pretty good to keep up with the general standard. Nothing from Helen today ?


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