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Giving the beach the bird

August 19, 2013

Eventually the boredom consumed her. One may have been tempted to believe that a lovely sunny and warm day, a large attractive swimming pool, a well stocked bar in a beautiful garden, and nothing required to  be done, might add up to a dream day in the south of France, but that was without factoring in Nice Lady Decorator boredom.

So I was roused from my cosy billet in the web, reading the Sunday Times, to take her up the Valbonne Square (is you get my drift). A Desperado at the Auberge Provençal was still insufficient, and with her sights set on an olive oil container they use in the Cafe Des Arcades, which, I am told, will be perfect for the web, our outside bar, we crossed the Square for another Desperado and a small beer. When I protested that we already owned such an item, secured from this very place, I was told rather testily that this one was in Arundel and obviously we needed another for our house in Valbonne

Arriving back, a Pimms No 1 was the perfect way to set off a late afternoon in paradise. We missed Barney Rubble lookalike Tony “I invented the internet” Coombs, who had popped around to deliver my cigar case left at his the evening before, and once again I attempted to settle into a quiet read of the paper and to consider what to include in today’s Currencies Direct inspired column.

The free book offer is going well with 4 new customers looking forward to receiving their free copies of The Valbonne Monologues in return for registering, which you too can do if you go to and fill in and submit the application.

Rumours that two of these are under 3 years old are scurrilous mistruths, spread by jealous contemporaries, suggesting that I may be taking advantage of the kind offer of Currencies Direct head honcho in France, the lovely gypsy girl Pippa Maile to buy a book for each new applicant. However, I take a different view and would like to think that if that is the case, then these children are to be congratulated for being far sighted and setting up their foreign exchange needs in a timely fashion.

pigeons on the beach

Pigeon farm?

My picture today should grab the attention if local pigeon lover Peachy Butterfield. He was very pleased when, a couple of years ago, I discovered an official feeding area in his home town of Chester (don’t ask, its way up north and surrounded by tundra) and I think he will be thrilled to see so many pigeons all together. I cannot tell you exactly where this was taken as I suspect he would be down there today, farming a few for the Butterfield cooking pot, now that he has found out where the kitchen is and have even managed to work the oven.

Today we are invited to some sort of arty nonsense in the afternoon by Cathie The Culture, but I shall attend because of great respect for her painting (she painted a very accomplished portrait of me which appears in my book, and who knows, if it had exhibited a little less forehead and a little more hair, may have been chosen for the cover) but mainly because I have respect for her wine cellar. I am promised that there are some ancient red wines down there which have been collecting dust for some years which she wants rid of, and I have been chosen to lead the clearing up operation. I fear that the proposed tennis this evening could be in jeopardy.

Chris France

One Comment leave one →
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