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A dog with no nose?

June 20, 2013

The English weather continues to underline why I can’t wait to get back to France in a little over a week from now. The darkest of grey mornings, a hint of drizzle, a diet day and a sea fret, allows me to use the word fret again but in a different context. When you add to all this the fact that I am fretting over the number of people who are still using their banks for their foreign exchange services, rather than using Currencies Direct, you will know that it has been a fretful day.

Walking was thus postponed until late in the afternoon when we caught a few glimpses of sunshine, something that, according to the forecasters, we shall be largely denied this coming weekend. Today’s picture was taken on the epic 6 mile hike along the River Arun the day before during the first really warm day of the year. The other one may be in October.

by the River Arun

A typical country scene in Sussex

Today is Friday and if I get my way, which I probably won’t, I feel a lunch coming on. My preference would be for the George and Dragon at Houghton but suspect that we may venture further afield and combine it with a walk on the South Downs. That does not mean we shall eat out quite so literally, but enjoy a good lunch to offset all that dieting, exercising and non drinking nonsense to which I am regularly subjected. I am willing however to wager that no diet day will cast a cloud over my six weeks in lovely Valbonne.

The Reverend Jeff yesterday took the opportunity in the comments section of this column, to link the Mighty David Icke with the very sensible creed of Atheism. I may have misunderstood but he seemed to be arguing that followers of The Chem Theory may be as obsessive as Atheists. Now I like to have a wide diversity of views discussed beneath my hallowed scrawling, and indeed welcome extreme points of view ( I have even been known to allow vegetarians a platform – although preferably on the tracks when the train speeds into the station), but this is sheer nonsense and going too far. The Chem Trail followers are at least, even if misguided, focussing on something real rather than woolly nebulous concepts with no basis in fact. Anyway, I imagine this free and frank exchange of views is a set to continue.

There is talk of a barbecue this evening on a deck beside one of the tiny craft moored on the River Arun. This seems to be a very British and very optimistic venture, and have promised that if the rain abates, I shall pop down for half an hour with an umbrella to help keep the food dry. It is an invitation issued by the delicious Laura The Cockney, the co-founder of Boca Nuevo, the restaurant currently residing inside the White Hart, and to which we are regular visitors. That she is a good cook is a given, and so even the inclement weather may not be sufficient to keep me away. A seared tuna steak for supper could be on the cards.

I must venture into the hospital at Chichester this morning as my sinuses need attention, and I have an appointment with a nasal specialist. I imagine he will be sticking his nose into and sniffing around, well, my nose and who knows, maybe there may be a joke here about a dog with no nose, which is as old as, and one of the Revered Jeff’s finest. He will probably write another poem for the Daily Mail about it, or perhaps he already has, in which case no doubt he will use this far superior publication for more of his self poetic promotion.

Chris France

4 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    June 21, 2013 12:01 pm

    Oh dear I do seem to have got under your skin with my entirely chance remark regarding atheism yesterday ! Perhaps you need to ask yourself why such an innocuous little aside piqued you so much that you neglected to answer my cricket question. When you are ignoring the worlds finest sport I know you must be feeling distracted ! Perhaps my innocent little thought reminded you that dear old death’s winged chariot is advancing at an ever increasing rate of knots and oblivion is beckoning with its gnarled and crooked finger. Or is it that existentialist angst is finally working its worm like, painful and inevitable way into your ‘hail fellow, well met’ soul ? Remember, however much you try to distract yourself with the pleasures and bustle of this life the inevitable swish of The Grim Reapers scythe is getting ever closer and closer…!!!

    But to comment on your remarks.

    I said nothing about either atheists or followers of David Icke being obsessive. I merely said that the whole phenomenon was interesting.

    How are the Chem Theory followers focusing on something real when they believe that a reptilian race is overrunning the world ? Next you’ll be saying that Dr. Who is based on fact.

    I’m in the process of writing an extended homily on the nature of God and his/her relationship with man. If you’re not very careful it might just find its way into the comments section… have been warned…..

    Yes I still love the dog with no nose joke even after all these years. I might tell it at your funeral if I outlive you……


    • June 21, 2013 12:36 pm

      I am not going to die, I am immoral, but if anything does go wrong, that that’s it, the end. As to the cricket, well, this is the boys game, not mans cricket, so I don’t really have an opinion. The real stuff starts with The Ashes in a couple of weeks time. I shall be at the first two days of the Lords Test, which is one I hope you will pass when the time comes.


  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    June 21, 2013 1:55 pm

    I am giving you the benefit of the doubt that you meant to write immoral and it wasn’t a Freudian slip ! However the Lord moves in mysterious ways…..

    Nothing in creation dies it merely transforms or transfigures….I have a published poem on this subject which just may find itself……….!!

    You don’t have an opinion on something….bloody hell that’s the first time i’ve heard you say that in our forty four year friendship !!! You always have an opinion….however misguided or ill informed it might be ….


    • June 21, 2013 2:21 pm

      Immoral was a joke, I think first uttered by Eric Morecombe…In my opinion, I have never had strong opinions about anything and I am absloutley certain of that…


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