Arundel under siege

With sunshine in evidence, and it being my choice as to where to walk, it was inevitable I was going to get it wrong, which was a theme which was going to develop as the day wore on. Binstead Woods looked on the Ordnance Survey map as if it might be quite interesting, but in fact it was a largely boggy marsh with a few trees. Also, it was mostly in the shade, which turns out to be not exactly what That Nice Lady Decorator had in mind as it was a rare sunny day and she, perversely in my opinion, wanted to walk in it.

Of course, I was not told what she had in mind before I made my choice, but I was left in no doubt that it was not Binstead Woods. My protestations that it was very pretty, as evidenced by today’s photo, fell on deaf ears. I had made the first of what would turn out (apparently) to be a string of mistakes for which I would be justifiably punished.

Binstead Woods

It was deemed so unsatisfactory, that I was instructed to take her and her new friend who had accompanied us, the lovely Low Fidelity Fi, to the beach, via Ford market for some retail therapy, on the way to the Black Horse at Clymping. It was a Sunday and by the time we reached the pub the sun was (just) past the yardarm and they were thirsty. I was tempted to avoid imbibing myself, but only for a nanosecond.

Beforehand, when we had made it to the beach, the tide was in, or was it ? Either way it was also certainly my fault, but my shoulders are broad and blame lies easily upon them, a fact that was to be brought home to me later for, I think, daring to leave the luncheon table without properly refilling the girls glasses, or not providing sufficient ice, I am not sure which.

I had left the two of them gossiping in the garden after lunch and had popped in to watch the cricket, with England back to somewhere near their best. Returning to refill glasses, the girlies were nowhere to be seen, perhaps having done to the pub? So I returned to watch more cricket, until awoken with a torrent of abuse because I had not cleared up after lunch, which I did not know was over. I was told, although not in these exact terms, that I was useless, lazy,of doubtful parentage and several other things.

My contribution to luncheon proceedings was not acknowledged, my preparation of the wine, the general serving of drinks when the neighbours came to call, the dash to the Co Op to buy cheese for the cheeseboard, and my failure to clear up (before they had finished !(?) was a deeply disturbing sin and one for which I am now contrite.

Incredibly, the bank holiday has coincided with some delightful weather, which, as I look out of the window, looks set to continue until at least midday, so my instincts to undertake a diet day may have to be shelved. Thankfully it is not my turn to choose where to walk, so I shall be able to be the complainer, should the route not match my expectations, which if I was of Decorating ilk, I would not reveal until after the walk had been completed. Between you and I, I fancy some deeply shaded woodland…

As I have said, it is a bank holiday so I feel it would not be appropriate to mention how an account with Currencies Direct could light up your foreign exchange life, that will have to wait until tomorrow, when I shall be back on duty.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News