Otway makes a meal of lunch on the beach

Will someone please explain to me what part of the global warning argument could cause Cannes, the jewel in the south of France, to be so cold and wet yesterday, that tractors were employed to make sand banks to stop the encroaching tide as today’s picture below captures. Global warming is a load of bollocks, as any sane person will tell you, and if any proof were needed, then the utterly unseasonable rain and wind we experienced on the beach at Cannes provided ample evidence to refute that myth.

Personally, I love the sea, always at its best when it is it is at its most violent. Big waves, and the power and the majesty of the sea is for me nearly always enthralling. However, if there was ever to be an occasion when I would have preferred benign conditions, it would have been yesterday. Instead, we were, I was going to say treated, but that would imply something that was desirable or went on to help the situation, to a tempest of biblical proportions whilst we sat down to the John Otway Banquet On The Beach.

Sandcastle anyone?

We’re we down hearted? Not a bit if it. The whole occasion was a splendid success, the guys at Rado Plage did their very best to mitigate weather and a great deal of fun was had by all. There was some limited wearing of Otway masks, which will be much more in evidence today, with several photo opportunities, examples of which will light up the prose in this column dedicated to outlining the benefits of having an account with Currencies Direct for all your foreign exchange needs. Indeed I shall be talking to some of the 100 odd (and I do mean odd) Otway fans who have travelled from the UK for this weekend when Otway The Movie gets its premiere outside the UK today.

Before that great event at 2pm today, and with the weather improving at last, we expect to stage the “march of the 100 Otway’s” in Cannes at just after midday. An outrageous publicity stunt is being filmed by Associated Press and for YouTube ready for promotional dissemination in the coming weeks when the film will begin to roll out in England.

But I have not finished with last night. After a well advised siesta, That Nice Lady Decorator, the lovely Amy Otway and myself returned to Cannes to witness a performance of the John Otway Big Band at Morrison’s, the Irish bar. Apart from the obvious highlight of a great performance by the great man and his band on a tiny stage, the evening was to become memorable for the Decorating Operative ending up being barred from a the pub. Dancing on the tables is apparently something for which Morrison’s is not insured, so after getting back up to dance for the fourth time, having been forcibly removed on 3 previous occasions, the management, entirely reasonably in my opinion, decided that she was too dangerous. As dangerous as Dangerous Jackie Lawless with who she was dancing in a provocative lesbian like manner. No, I have no idea why either.

So a full report tomorrow, ahead if a boat trip to celebrate the 37th birthday of a certain Decorating Expert again. Weather permitting (and I am told the chances are good) , we shall set sail from Port de la Rague, close to Cannes for a banging lunch at Tahiti Beach in St Tropez, where, unless hell freezes over before hand , I will no doubt once again have to spend some time explaining to the management that she always dances on tables when she is drunk, and often when she is not.

Chris France

@Valbonne_News