Caravan of love

Sometimes you see something and you just have to take a picture. I was driving along the A27 yesterday towards Brighton, ready for a walk at Clapham in the South Downs, when I came across this particular take on a caravan. Camper vans are great, because I have one, but they have to be the classic old VW shape to be acceptable. As far as caravans are concerned, I am in the Top Gear camp, with Jeremy Clarkson, when it comes to the humble caravan, driven by the elderly with no idea about anything except causing traffic jams. All caravans should be crushed, full stop and I will fight anyone who says different.

So here is a new take on a mobile home. It was built on a French registered vehicle so the idea must have germinated there, and I am torn. I don’t know if I like it or hate it. Like it I think. Would I want one? No. It has a kind of Romany feel about it, but also the look of a chicken coup.

A caravan of love?

Our own trip to France is approaching. Part of the idea is to get away from the cold and mostly miserable weather we are having here, but seeing a report from Cannes today, showing people queuing to get into the showing of The Great Gatsby at the Cannes Film Festival holding umbrellas, was deeply sobering. Yes, it is raining in Cannes which is a disaster. Over 100 Otway fans are travelling down for the screening of his film and lunch on the beach. None of us was expecting to have to pack long trousers or umbrellas. Something must be done. I have already transferred my money into euros, courtesy of my account with Currencies Direct, so there is no going back.

I have come to the conclusion that The Otway masks that are all over Cannes, and which are being distributed far and wide in advance if the march of 100 Otway’s on Sunday, are likely to be used to impugn the integrity of a large number of famous actors and film directors. The great man told me today that he already has pictures of whom he claims to be Steven Spielberg, Leonard Di Caprio and Ryan Goslin wearing Otway masks at the Festival. Do you see how he will shape the use of masks to further his own press coverage? I would suggest that he will claim that anyone of any media fame, any celebrity, major or minor, was wearing a mask at some stage. If Prince William was there, I know what would happen, If Jesus turned up, same thing.

So another diet day successfully negotiated, I am on the slippery slope to an early weekend. It seems as if I shall be looking to drown my sorrows before we get there unless the French weather forecasters are wrong. Actually, it will not matter if it was raining or not as Mr Clipboard and his beautiful bride, Ashley are on same flight out of Gatwick on Friday, so in my opinion, a good start would be a glass of something crisp and white at the caviar bar at the airport late Friday morning. I believe that I may have some backing from the local Decorating fraternity.

But back to today. That Nice Lady Decorator has decided that she is a little behind in the tasks she has set herself, so my suggestion that we walk somewhere nice for lunch has been rejected, however I have high hopes that an early evening appointment with beer somewhere might still take place. Prior to that, I must cram three working days into a couple of hours, which may be a problem for someone less dynamic and delusional than my good self.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News