Seagull gives sign the bird

Council elections today are apparently traditionally followed by a gathering at the White Hart in what has become known as the White Tart Election special. Ok, I made that up and in any case, there was supposed to be no pub for me yesterday, despite another sunny day. Diet day you see, 600 calories means that breakfast amounted to a bowl of diced steamed field mushrooms, baby sweet corn and mange toute.

Now that bugs me; mange toute. Taken literally in French it means eat everything, which is a particularly cruel concept, for someone living on a starvation diet, with which to juggle. One gets a bit ratty when one is hungry, it is sunny, and you are sitting in your garden listening to people drinking and enjoying themselves in the pub garden next door and then that Nice Lady Decorator opened a bottle of cava.

Yes, more splendid spring weather yesterday, although I believe it is all scheduled to come to a stop today. By the time you read this, we shall be off and in the car and on our way to Bampton in Oxfordshire for the wedding of one of my nieces, the lovely and blonde Sophie. She is the most wonderful girl but those blonde genes are very dominant and she has a history of allowing them into the decision-making process. I am certain that I will be faced with some examples over this weekend.

We are staying at Biztro, which looks very nice from what I have seen on their website and I am looking forward to a full weekend if celebration.

I do hope this seagull is taking note

My picture today was taken at the seaside where this particular seagull exhibited signs of an anti social nature. It seems to me that perching there is a statement of intent, mocking the rules and will doubtless, when caught, will be claiming an inability to read as its defence. I hope it gets a stern talking to from the beak and a spell of bird as a result.

Yesterday afternoon I was sent on an errand to the Co Op, across the road. The shopping list was brief and to the point; a bottle of Moët and Chandon champagne and a bag of Wagg dog food. My first thought was that there was some kind of celebration planned for the canine contingent and I was girding myself to make the obvious complaint, but I need not have worried, the champagne was part of the wedding present and the Wagg was for me.

At that stage, everything has gone to diet plan. The whole caboodle began to unravel at about 5pm. At that stage I was quite smugly sitting on an intake of some 260 calories and was looking forward to my 240 calorie dinner. First, the beautiful and mighty Omega, and her betrothed, James Desperate Dan, the landlord appeared to enjoy a sundowner. At first I resisted this vile provocation and did not join all and sundry for a drink, distracting myself with higher thoughts, such as the goodness that is contained in having an account with Currencies Direct. Then, after the sun had finally departed our garden,  on an early evening dog relieving walk, we happened across the lovely Laura on her newly constructed drinks deck on the banks of the river Arun, entertaining all and sundry with prawns and beer. Just the one cannot hurt I thought, but then, after that small but not insignificant diversion, we bumped into our quiz team partners Sandra and Colin, health professionals in the way back. It was all too much and resolve cracked and the disintegrated. More bottles were opened and the holiday weekend had begun in earnest.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News