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Door closed on diet

April 24, 2013

In normal circumstances in the past I would have expressed fulsome distaste for Kentucky Fried Chicken, that calorific, fat laden, fast food chicken, but I have had a change of heart. I am now of the opinion that it is a wonderfully nutritious way of eating chicken, and is fast food at its very best. I may even go in search of one, although not tomorrow, as I suspect one piece would exceed my diet day limit of 600 calories.

A cynic might suggest that there has to be some reason for this sudden change of opinion. That same cynic may be the one that knows that a track, featuring the vocals of the late great Steve Marriott, has been chosen for the new KFC TV advertising campaign which will run for the next year. This, of course, has cost the advertising agency a pretty penny and eventually some of that will filter down the music business food chain and will arrive in Arundel. Long live fast food say I.

Summer is well under way and yesterday the forecasters were saying we may have 2 or even 3 days of summer weather before autumn crowds back in, so we took advantage and, daring to wear shorts, obviously accompanied by a shirt and large sweater, took to the hills around Arundel from where I took this picture. Today those forecasters are saying something different.

gate in woodd

One door opens…

Now I may be missing something here, but I cannot see the point of a gate just set up arbitrarily in the middle of the woods. Perhaps it is like the emperors new clothes, or like all modern art, where people think there is something there, or there is something there worth looking at but normal people cannot see it? Anyway, after we had walked through, dutifully closing it behind us, as dictated by the country code, we continued on in bright sunshine, and I began to think all warm and cuddly thoughts about all my Currencies Direct customers.

Now it is devilishly hard on a diet day to retain enough calories to be allowed a pint of beer, but it was St George’s Day yesterday and so I had to slay my own personal dragon in order to retain 340 calories ( the number of calories in two pints of real ale ) in order to show national solidarity. The problem was; where to go to celebrate? The requirement was for good beer and a nice pub garden within a few miles of Arundel.

We settled on The Oyster Catcher between Ford and Clymping, mainly because that allowed us a walk along the beach at sunset, has decent beer and a well-kept garden. The problem was road noise so we ended up at the very apt George and Dragon at Houghton.

This dietary decision had the effect if making the evening meal even more meagre. A boiled field mushroom of 5 calories was all that remained. Gruel would have been rich by comparison, and Oliver Twist would not have bothered to ask for more, still we did get those pints, St George was appeased and now I can hear that bacon sizzling in the pan, so shortly, when that big full English breakfast is safely stacked away in my stomach (assuming it has not shrunk with all this denial) all will be well in my little world.

Today, great Auntie Pam is coming to stay as she has decided to move to Arundel to keep an eye on us. It will be my duty to organise the purchase of the flat she has chosen across the road. I mention this because we have made much of the luncheon opportunities in Arundel and we want to impress her so we will find somewhere nice. The George and Dragon (would be my favourite , if I am involved in the choice rather than, as usual, following orders.

Chris France

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