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Catholic Church shock

March 15, 2013

I had a vivid dream, well, more if a nightmare really, that we departed England in bright sunshine and arrived at Nice in rain. For me that would have been the ultimate irony, an escape from dismal UK  into the bright sunshine of the south of France. However, it was only a dream, but when I awoke, got up and looked out if the window it was sunny. It won’t last, I thought,  but by the time we left it was sunny and my heart began to sink.

We arrived in Nice in a thunderstorm, which according to Peachy Butterfield had been going on for 10 days. The whole  worldly weather has gone mad, this is not normal. I was supposed to be sitting in my pav, drinking wine and enjoying a typical French evening, but it was raining and the fire was lit and by dusk, the shutters closed against the tempest. This was not in the brochure and I want my money back. I did not spend a whole winter in England, just to be rained on when I escaped to France. I expect better and soon.

We thought that as the 6 day party was about to start, we would have a couple of drinks to stay ahead of the game, so we went to the Caviar House at Gatwick airport north terminal for scrambled eggs and smoked salmon and a glass of something crisp and cold. After the dietary purgatory of the day before, two breakfasts followed by British Airways wraps on the plane seemed the way to go. £58 later (around 67 euros at today’s Currencies Direct exchange rate), it seemed a slight less appealing idea.

Arriving in Valbonne the wine was open in an instant and the unwinding, some may say the unraveling began. I could relax because the shipment of very valuable books had arrived safely so all that was required was for me to steady myself before the big day, the launch of my book at Cafe Latin this morning. However my determination to remain steady was met by an even stronger determination in the part of Peachy Butterfield to avoid steadiness.

Eventually, we sat down for dinner and then Peachy announced that last evening was officially nominated “blow job and steak night”, but that moment of elation was destroyed when I found out that we were having chicken for dinner. He was serous. It seems as if there is a Facebook  page attesting to that fact. Here I could make a load of jokes about getting a mouthful but have decided to keep my literal mouth shut on this one.
Talking of social networks, Peachy expressed a little dissatisfaction,  and was in fact a bit upset because Pope Francis refused his friendship request on Facebook, and this was after he had achieved 70 plus likes for a rather tasteless welcome to the new front man for the Catholic Church. He considered this a bad omen, but I think it was a but harsh to describe the new pontiff as a “miserable Argie bastard”. He also described the church as Under Old Management. I have a photo of just such a sign today.

sign of change in the church?

Church change?

So it has arrived. VM day, publication day for The Valbonne Monologues, the next step in my literary ascent to being one of the best authors at Cafe Latin this morning. Yes, you did read that correctly. I am confident that I will be one of the most successful authors in the Cafe between 10.30 and 12.00. All my sponsors will be there, the hard working Pete Bennett from Blue Water Yachting, the lovely Marina Kulik who staged the competition to design the cover, Jeroen Zaat from ABK Properties,  the coolest and most rock and roll estate agent in Valbonne, but we shall miss Dancing Greg Harris as he claims to be abroad,although I expect he may pop in later.

Chris France

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