Christmas decorations cause friction

Still cut off from Chichester due to the continuing closure if the A27 due to flooding, the last knockings of Xmas shopping were undertaken at Littlehampton or L A as the locals call it. The bike shop has not repaired my bike, and the other bike shop, which I wanted to visit to collect a vital gift, was closed because they were making a delivery. Who closes their shop at the busiest time of the year in order to make a delivery? The retail brains behind that decision need to be retained for the benefit of medical science. The stupid gene must be close to being isolated.

Isolated is quite a good description for Littlehampton.  There has clearly been no new blood in the town for several decades, with the result that the average age of its inhabitants is somewhere over 100, and any signs of progress are snuffed out by the anally retentive commissariat that runs things in the town. The only new fangled technology that has found its way into this pensioners delight are those electric chairs so beloved by those old gits which are everywhere. Walking around the town (which sets you apart as most residents are immobile) you are forever on the look out for mad drivers of those disabled scooters. If there should be an Olympic discipline for those then L. A. would be world beaters, such is the ability on display as one attempts to access the market on foot.

Escaping intact, we were sufficiently shocked to require a pint of London Pride at the Six Bells at  Lyminster, before returning to unload the car and head up to the Kings Arms in Arundel for a festive Christmas Eve pint. From there back for a short siesta before attacking the White Hart, however before departing for the long walk next door I was reminded that I had the responsibility for Christmas lunch resided with me.

The Sprogs were once again offered the chance to decide what the family should have for Christmas lunch. Crispy aromatic duck would perhaps not be an obvious choice but it was the choice of those in charge. The problem was that you can never prepare one in quite the same way as a Chinese restaurant so someone was volunteered to go out and collect said items ready for lunch today.

As you may be aware, I am not a fan of coloured lights at Christmas, so I was gratified to receive this picture from the Wingco, who is currently holidaying in Australia. My feelings entirely.

I think the house on the right has it right

Thus the big day has dawned and as you read this the Sprogs will probably still be sound asleep, dreaming of the worm farms they both think will be their main gift. Disguise has been important and it was a master stroke by me to ask them to ensure that the heavily disguised presents were kept upright. So successful has been this subterfuge that I have even had a tense moment with Sprog 2 who told me that should the gift be anything that is alive, we would be falling out big time. All will be revealed this morning.

In deference to the start of the festive season, I shall be refraining from going on about the benefits of opening an account with Currencies Direct and instead be focussing on the true message of Christmas, if only someone would tell me what that is.

Now you chaps who have received a kindle for Christmas, don’t forget that as a special Xmas present, you can download my first book “Summer In The Cote d’Azur for free Christmas day and Boxing Day. Please be kind at Xmas to review it and give me 5 stars? I will be a good boy, I promise.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News