One night in Bangkok

It had the potential to go horribly wrong. One night in Bangkok had to kick off in some way. It started benignly with a trip out to out outskirts of the city to eat at the idyllic Treehouse Restaurant situated on the banks of the Chao Phraya river. It was just after sunset when we arrived after a torturous journey through the ridiculously congested early evening rush hour traffic, but it was worth it for the stunning location, great food and perfect setting.

Arriving back in the centre of the city before 10pm, and with this being our last night in Bangkok, what to do? In the pursuit of culture, and being 15 minutes drive from the iconic Patpong, I had suggested that we indulge in some of the local culture but had received a noticeable lack of support from some members of our touring party for reasons I cannot fathom.  Surely an area, which in my opinion should be a world heritage site, should be visited when one was nearby with time on one’s hands? Near to the hotel is a sort of mini Patpong, with bars offering floor shows mainly involving naked girls, some of an age that may have interested the late Sir Jimmy Savile, but it was not the real thing, so eventually I persuaded that Nice Lady Decorator to accompany me to Patpong itself. I think I should draw a discreet veil over the actual events, but her insistence on asking anyone who would listen, mostly men affiliated to some bar or other, where was the best floor show proved most debilitating as we were constantly led to more and more seedy bars, tiring a little after midnight.  I shall not be returning. We did not achieve any of my aims, which included either darts or bananas, although we did see a novel but fairly undramatic use for ping-pong balls. I have a picture taken during the evening as my photo of the day.

Some charming young ladies in Bangkok

Now, back to Cabbages and Condoms, a restaurant I featured yesterday. I am berated for not knowing that it was set up by a Thai government minister to promote safe sex, so I stand corrected, as it were. Their website boasts that they are certain no one will get pregnant by eating their food. I am so relieved.

With one last chance for retail therapy this morning, an opportunity that the Nice Lady Decorator is certain to grasp with both wallets, there is the small matter of packing ready for the flight this evening to Adelaide via Sydney. A day earlier, I had bought a very fetching pith helmet made out of some local material (coconut I think, but I could be wrong) which I liked very much. It even had a chin strap. I was, it has to be said, in a minority of one in favour of my wearing it, and I think I can safely say that none in our party were entirely convinced that my plan to buy 11 of them, (at about £6 at today’s exchange rates) to enhance the cricket teams appearance at the parade of nations and opening night party for the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival, which starts this coming Monday, was as sound as I did. They may have been right as the chin strap broke as I was sitting in a tuk tuk taxi and blew off my head into a puddle of, well, it looked like it could be sewage, so astonishingly, I was precluded from going back for it. Thus my plan vastly to increase the presence of our team was thwarted. I just know that my team mates will be as upset as I by this lack of sartorial improvement.

Chris France

@Valbonne_News