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Technology baffles old fart

November 17, 2012

My ability to adapt to new technology has been sadly lacking for as long as I can remember  I once told my business partner in 1996 when he put email into our offices; “it’s a waste of time, I will never use it”. I have learned to use BlackBerry’s over the years and come to trust them until recently, so, with both Sprogs badgering me into it, I have acquired an iPhone 5.  As I write this (from my office rather than on my new mobile device due to failed technology, or more likely baffled old git struggling with new technology) I have a list of questions for Mr Jobs’ successor. Why won’t it let me join a wifi network, why does it not detect a mobile signal, why is it so crap for typing. I am hoping for some enlightenment when I have posted this.

On the way over to Chichester to collect this over rated slab of uselessness, we spotted that The Black Horse at Binstead, which has been the subject of a reputed £1 million refurbishment, had reopened, so on the way back we popped in. The omens were good, a lovely old pub in a dominant position overlooking a golf course with far-reaching views towards the South Downs, a nice garden, Bentley’s, Mercedes, and Range Rover’s in the packed car park. The problems started as we walked in. The place has been completely stripped of any character it might one have had, a dreary colour scheme set off with green, yes green, upholstered chairs, nasty pine look tables, and by the look of the few meals that came past us whilst we enjoyed a pint, The British batter-making champion must be employed in the kitchens. He (or she) also probably does a line in microwaved individual steak and kidney pies. Very nasty indeed, so nasty that we left quickly and found some solace in The Old Cottage pub next door to Fontwell race course, comparatively nice after the Black Horse despite its proximity to the Travelodge.

Taking the theme of pubs next to inappropriate old buildings, my picture today is of a quite average pub in Arundel, the St Mary’s Gate under the shadow of the Roman Catholic cathedral. Quite handy for the cardinal to pop out for a quick one during those interminable Catholic services.

St marys gate

St Mary’s Gate, Arundel

So it being a Friday, the slippery slope down towards the weekend commenced. Friday night is pub night, so we went to the pub next door, the White Hart where we were lucky enough to run into the voluptuous Kathryn, the Wyatt Earp of Arundel, the O”Meg”a goddess and James”Desperate Dan” the landlord, who coincidentally was in his own pub in the busiest night of the week. The girls were both thrilled by getting a mention in this column and delighted with their new epithets, although it is fair to say that they hid this delight very well. The phrase that sticks in my head is “I am never going to tell you anything about me again”.

Today, after having a row with Vodaphone and trying to return to my old Blackberry, I will be having a row with UPS who failed to deliver my new cricket shoes yesterday in readiness for our trip to Australia, which starts in a rather low-key way on Monday. We fly to Manchester to connect with the emirates departure for Dubai and Bangkok. I think the idea is to achieve the greatest possible contrast in weather from leaving England to arriving in the warm. Manchester is, of course , one of the coldest and wettest parts of this lovely country. I must check the Currencies Direct exchange rates.

Chris France

@Valbonne_News

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. Lin Wolff permalink
    November 17, 2012 10:15 am

    Chris — look out for Alison’s daughter, Holly, who is now working for Emirates. And please if you find her on board, don’t harass her!

    Like

    • November 17, 2012 12:56 pm

      Any danger of in upgrade?

      Sent from my iPhone

      Like

      • Lin permalink
        November 17, 2012 2:28 pm

        She can’t even upgrade her mother, much less you DOG (drunk old git)!

        Like

  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    November 17, 2012 12:12 pm

    Perhaps best you hadn’t mentioned it in the first place then Lin ! Have you ever known Chris not harass (English pronunciation please) somebody when the opportunity arose ? I Incidentally I’ve not heard from Pinman for some time. Is he still in the land of the living ?

    Like

    • Lin permalink
      November 17, 2012 2:29 pm

      Absolutely right Rev. My fingers did the talking.
      Re Pinman, he must be alive, he’s still sending me junk emails.

      Like

  3. simmonsdj permalink*
    November 17, 2012 12:38 pm

    You should have gone for a Samsung Galaxy, you were told!

    Like

    • November 17, 2012 12:58 pm

      Turns out it was. Faulty handset

      Sent from my iPhone

      Like

  4. Rev. Jeff permalink
    November 17, 2012 3:26 pm

    Thanks Lin I rather miss his pithy (!!) comments.

    Like

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