Jesus loves you, even in Worthing

After a great day on Sunday amid sparkling sunshine and great fun, great wine, great company, great food and laughter, yesterday was the total opposite, raining from dawn to dusk, miserable and depressing. So what was to be done? The initiative needed to be taken, something uplifting and invigorating to throw off the November blues, yes! Or rather, no. A trip to Worthing, the old age pensioners capital of the south coast.

That Nice Lady Decorator wanted stuffing (for some upholstery she is doing) and had sourced a shop in the town where she could get wadding. It was that interesting. Rather ironically I had earlier been uplifted somewhat to spot this particular young lady whilst on a quick dash down to the post office in the rain. She was trying, and succeeding, to raise people’s spirits, although I suspect not in quite the way she did for me. I particularly liked the cone-shaped hat bearing the slogan “Jesus Loves You”. The Reverend Jeff would have been proud of her zeal, perhaps she even works for him? Anyway, she did her job, I laughed at the absurdity of her ridiculous optimism in the face of a disgusting drizzly day, and being faced by a religious cynic like me. I told her I would worship the Lord if he parted the clouds and made the sun shine there and then, but sunshine came there none. She agreed to allow me to take a photo of her only if I took one of her printed psalms, which I did, as we are short of paper with which to light the fire. I suppose a man desperately clutching at the straws of humour might say that she psalmed it off on me, but luckily for you, dear reader, that person is not me.

Praise the Lord

Once we turned from worthy Worthing with wadding, with the weather worsening, we went where? the Wabbit.  You can see I had an attack of the w’s in the last sentence. The Black Rabbit serves food all day so that Nice Lady Decorator and I abandoned the good intentions of the various self-imposed goals we had set ourselves (mine in respect of Currencies Direct) and went down and partook of tuna and sardines respectively. That and a couple of pints of Tanglefoot, so yes, a poor start to the week of low-carb fasting that had been planned (not by me).

With just a week to go before the sunshine of Bangkok and Australia beckons, I took delivery of the tour merchandise, the cricketing paraphernalia of shirts and caps required to be worn by team members, all emblazoned with the name of our team; the Nidderdale Taverners. There were also in the package  some long white woollen socks, the sort than come above the knee, and some dark navy shorts that are rather too short. It seems that in the opening parade for the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival, team members will be required to wear this outfit. If it is meant to scare the Australians, amongst the teams against whom we shall be competing, then I suggest whoever conceived this look is made aware of that Nice Lady Decorator’s reaction when I donned the outfit. It must have been at least 15 minutes before the hysterics had subsided. There is something cathartic about being laughed at, something that raises the British bulldog spirit, and so I drew myself up to my full height and resolved to wear this outfit with pride (although only the once, for the parade). If the ridiculous socks were designed as an instrument to build team spirit, then it was a masterstroke. Team togetherness will be vital if we are to impose our cricketing will on the opposition and, shared adversity is a proven instrument in team building.

Chris France
@Valbonne_News