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How many shades of grey are there?

October 24, 2012

We have all heard of the semi-pornographic series of books bearing the word Grey, and I think the writer must have spent time in Arundel, or England at least, in order fully to appreciate the number of shades that exist. I would say that we have witnessed several hundred variations of grey in the past week. I cannot remember a spell of more grey weather and I don’t see how anyone would want to wear shades when it is so dank and dreary. However, there is a song in my heart and a smile around my lips as tonight I am going to be allowed out to play. I believe it involves a pub and some dinner and at last, some carbohydrates. Without a serious infusion I may shortly become so thin I will disappear up my own backside, a sort of black hole….where am I going with this? nowhere pleasant it would seem.

Yesterday though was gruesome, or should I be saying greysome? We woke up it was grey, we went to the beach for a long walk, it was grey, I went cycling, it was grey, I was tempted for a moment to look down whilst standing in the shower, but decided not to risk it. If Larry Grayson were still alive he would be saying “What a grey day”. I have a picture today to sum it all up.

grey sea

Was it Ultravox who recorded “Fade To Grey”?

But nothing will wipe that emerging smirk from my lips. It is now less than a month before we set of for Bangkok and then Australia as part of the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival in Adelaide. I have discovered that the captain of our team is the owner of Ripley Castle. Sir Thomas Ingilby will be our leader during the tour, and any suggestion that he is merely a tour guide will be dealt with harshly. Our team is to be called the Nidderdale Warriors and they are so serious they are talking about having nets (that is practice to you non cricketing sorts) prior to the off, however they will be held in Yorkshire which is a tad to far to go for an evening. Also amongst the luminaries who are in our team is one Fraser Hines. Fraser, who will no doubt try once again to sell me one of his books, as I will now be able to do to him, is an actor who has appeared in major TV series such as Emmerdale Farm and holds the record as the longest companion for Dr Who. I wonder if he is a little late does one call him a little tardis? but I digress. Clearly the tour will be a media feast, if for no one else but me. I shall of course be attempting to ensure that my team mates are well aware of the dangers of not using Currencies Direct for all their foreign exchange needs, which will arguably make this a business trip. That is certainly the firm line I shall be taking with my accountant when the credit card bills come home to roost. All I need to do is get a little fitter (do you think Kwik Fit might have a spare one?)  which is a bit of a problem as I have a bit of a dodgy knee. As one gets older bits keep breaking off and it may be that some routine maintenance may be required before I venture onto the field of play. The solace is that there will be those playing who are even older than I as the minimum age at which one can take part is 40.

Chris France


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