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Bananarama lives!

October 10, 2012

It was as if the gods knew that I was about to go up north into the howling gales and rain which adorn the bleak landscape up there. That is why they sent a continuous band of rain to Arundel yesterday which started as I woke up and was still falling as I went to bed. It must have been a god like familiarisation course.  It is the first real horrid day we have had since our departure from Valbonne, but boy was it horrible and I have to go up north tomorrow and that will be worse. If I have any readers up there (if I do they will be closet or exiled southerners) can you tell me if there is any light up there at midday?

At least because of the tempest I did not have to endure cycling, that nice lady decorator taking pity on me as I whimpered behind the bike sheds, a tactic I had originally employed some 40 odd years ago with some success, albeit in quite a different way. Bike sheds have some happy memories, bikes do not, especially the Aylesbury Bike as she was known but that is now so long ago I cannot remember her name.

With no mud guard on my go-faster mountain bike it means that if it is wet then I get a wet muddy stripe from my buttocks right up my back, a condition described as “a bit of billy brown tale” by one of my old friends. A sort of yellow streak turned brown.

It was thus with a heavy heart and a quickly disappearing sun tan that I began to pack what clothes I have left that are still dry. Those on the washing line may have wait until next May to dry out. My thigh length waders which are immune to water have been packed and tomorrow I shall slink up north for a dose of hard reality.

Talking of hard reality, I have a picture of a chap in typical “up north” garb which I took outside the premiere of Otway The Movie at the weekend, and of which I also saw another nice collage of the big day. I have heard the expression “skinning up” but never in connection with a banana. I hope you enjoy this picture because it cost me a quid for whatever charity for which he was collecting. Maybe it was a charity aiding people who have slipped up in some way? Or maybe it is called “Friends of Bananarama”, the once popular girly singing group who must surely have hit hard times by now.

He must be bananas

Banana suit

Amongst the paraphernalia I shall be taking with me will be some of my very useful Currencies Direct literature just in case I meet any renegades who wish to save money on their foreign exchange transactions, but mostly I will be taking the laptop and my artistic acumen (for which you can now get very effective ointment). That book must be finished, I have orders to fulfill. Valbonne awaits.

I had a call yesterday from Master Mariner Mundell, my self-appointed book sales manager. He was keen to discover what progress had been made with the writing so that he could dovetail his activities to be at his most effective when the time comes to unleash volume 2 in the international community. He did not take it well when I suggested his non-appearance at the launch could be worth some sales. I was joking of course, I need him to be there to buy his copy.  He began to mumble something about commission but the line failed as soon as I pressed the red button. Damn unreliable things these mobile phones.

So dear readers, wish me luck. I hope to be able to report on my trip each day if the battery in my laptop will last, and if any satellites stray over the frozen north, and if I can find a quill pen and some ink or blood with which to write from the very few wild frontier outposts that exist north of Coventry, mainly for trappers and hunters and the like.

Chris France

@Valbonne_News

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Lesley Bufton permalink
    October 10, 2012 9:26 am

    Had unbroken sunshine and 27 degrees in Sardinia yesterday and you could have been here! Surely your sun tan is being replaced by a light coating of rust?
    Sorry we missed Otway.
    Love Poly and Roly xx

    Like

  2. Rev. Jeff permalink
    October 10, 2012 2:03 pm

    ‘Bike sheds have some happy memories…….’

    Considering you went to an all male school I’m beginning to wonder if you haven’t got more in common with your public school chums than you’re letting on….!!

    Like

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