Beauty dogged by dog
In a desperate attempt to off set the physical effects of the profligate ex pat lifestyle enjoyed (or would endured be a better word?) down here in the sunny south of France, that nice lady decorator and I go for a walk every day. This is not a stroll but a full on power walk up as many hills as we can manage. Without that counter balance I would be dead.
The problem is that, like yesterday, one sets oneself out to have a day without a drink, in my case dedicating the whole day, well most of the morning, well certainly between 11 and lunchtime, to working on spreading the good word about the value of opening an account with Currencies Direct. The combined effects of old age and last weeks man flu yesterday then sent me for a siesta in the afternoon. When I awoke, I was preparing for a little cycling but then Peachy arrived unannounced at 5pm.
His visit was on the spurious pretext that he had some stuff to deliver to us. Once unloaded it was inevitable. I tried to head him off at the pass “Would you like a cup of tea?”. “No, a glass of wine please” intoned Le Grande Peche and once again the foundations of good intent for a more healthy lifestyle crumbled like a dam trying to hold back an English drought.
It had been a lovely morning down by the River Brague as my picture today would have depicted had it not been invaded by the calamitous cocker Banjo. A pleasant siesta and then, 5pm, the sun going down, the temperature perfect, the provocation of a Peach and bang, back on the sauce.
I am told by several of my friends who have moved back to the UK that one of the biggest things they miss in comparison to living down here (apart from the obvious one, the weather, and here I must make reference to the “once in 50 year storm” that is supposed to be hitting the UK as I write) is the spontaneity. The joy of suddenly finding yourself in a social occasion you had not expected is one that I savour.
Less spontaniously today, Saturday and the first day of the weekend, regular readers will not be surprised to know that we are invited to lunch. Tony “I invented the internet” Coombs has invited us over to his estate in order to discuss a trip to India and Australia later in the year. India is on my Bucket List (as in things you need to do before you kick the bucket) and especially watching England play Test Cricket against India in India. It appears that our friendly local internet inventor is also interested in both cricket and India, so we have a fairly firm plan to go to Mumbai (formerly known as Bombay) in November. This will be a stop off on the way to Adelaide in Australia to play cricket in the Golden Oldies Cricket Festival. Clearly an itinerary of this complexity will take some planning and what better way but to sit a the Internet’s new terrace in the sunshine, and just try to imagine what the swimming pool he promised his wife 20 years ago might have looked like, whilst discussing the complex arrangements over a refreshing ale or several. I promised not to mention the lack of a pool again after what happened last time, so if you could just ignore that bit I would be very grateful. I expect to be home by 5pm ready to go cycling again. I am the eternal optimist.
Chris France
Spell Checker….now we know your secret…………
I halve a spelling checker,
It came with my pea see.
It plainly marks four my revue
Mistakes I dew knot sea.
Eye strike a key and type a word
And weight four it two say
Weather eye am wrong oar write
It shows me strait aweigh.
As soon as a mist ache is maid
It nose bee fore two long
And eye can put the era rite
Its rarely ever wrong.
I’ve scent this massage threw it,
And I’m shore your pleased too no
Its letter prefect in every weigh;
My checker tolled me sew.
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Sory, I dont sees anyting ammusing heer?
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