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Old gits cruise to victory

April 19, 2012

Marina Kulik the painter  has made a good point in the comments section of this column. She believes that I should practice posing for my modelling assignment next Monday at her studios in Plascassier.  This will involve sitting around with a glass of wine and talking, so when I undertake this practice at any time between now and Monday I hope everyone with whom I am at the time will realise that it is actually a kind of work, exactly the same as I do each day for Currencies Direct, although there is less sitting around Actually, I have made strides today. I now have an application form website to open an account with Currencies Direct which I just tried and it did ot work. When it does  you won’t have to wade through all the jargon because regular readers will be completely au fait with the benefits, so soon it will be easy to sign up!

My picture today was taken in Antibes last week. I do like brightly coloured clothing but this outfit was daring even by the standards of my style guru Mr Humphreys. I shall be finding out if he is free tomorrow at “church” in Cafe Latin in Valbonne, the regular market day gathering. If he has seen this picture by then I shall expect a bold and stylish riposte.

pink and leopard skin, set off beautifully against the red carpet and red wheels

As expected, tennis was a triumph for the mustachioed old gits which comprise my good self and the Wingco last evening. Having cruised to a 6-3 win in the first set against Dancing Greg Harris from Cote d’Azur Villa Rentals and Blind Lemon Milsted the MOGS relaxed a little in the second set, obviously contemplating a nice post victory dinner at Carpachio in Chateauneuf de Grasse. That I managed to play at all is a testament to my strength and will power after spending the day shoveling gravel from a pile that must have been visible to the naked eye from outer space.

We had allowed our opponents to build a 5-1 lead before taking charge of the situation and repaired this to 6-6. Had there been a tie break as is the modern way forward in these  situations, then our victory would surely have been confirmed earlier. That our victory was a tad controversial cannot be denied. It was a major topic of discussion over dinner. Nominally under some tennis scoring rules, two sets played and one set one by each team, the score being 6-3, 7-9 the result may have been considered a draw, but regular followers of this column will not be surprised to know that I consider a draw at tennis to be a waste of time so I like to employ a count back. It is a simple enough exercise, one counts the total games one has won compared with ones opponents and even the mathematically challenged amongst you (and here I make special mention of the delectable steely eyed blonde Lisa Thornton Allan) should be able to calculate that the Mogs ran out winners by 12 to 11. You see there is a reason why Mr Clipbeard has been known to refer to me as “the count back c**t.

During the game played in sunny but rather windy conditions at the Vignale (rumoured to have been sold recently – perhaps if that is the case some much-needed investment in the infrastructure will follow?). which played havoc with all parts of the game but for Greg especially as he was having trouble with his throw up. Personally I am more likely to have a problem with the throw up after dinner than during tennis but that is the way of the world.

Chris France

One Comment leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    April 19, 2012 1:59 pm

    Who is the mathematically challenged one here ? Try adding up those scores again.

    Perhaps you should be known as “the count back clot” !

    Sorry to hear that one of your tennis opponents is an imprecise tosser. This is a nasty complaint akin to having the putting yips I believe.


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