Dodgy pins at Juan Les Pins

Juan Les Pins is an apt name as it turns out. That nice lady decorator, determined not to miss out on another social event after twisting her ankle and having to cancel a dinner engagement in Friday, decided that dosed up on dollipran pain killers she was steady enough on her “Pins” to get to a birthday lunch on the beach yesterday. Of course in reality it meant one thing; I would have to carry her most of the way. Actually that is a bit of an exaggeration but she was certainly no dancing queen as I had to adopt a crutch replacement position, of which more later.

La Petite Plage in Juan Les Pins is one of my favourite beach restaurants. It is quite intimate, slightly funky and the food, especially the fish is excellent. The sea is just a few feet away and it has occurred to me that the lack of any serious tide in the Mediterranean means that on the beaches the buildings can be that much closer to the waterline than most places in the world. It is a testament to my photographic abilities that my photo today entirely fails to capture that intimacy.

La Petite Plage at Juan Les Pins

Ok that’s enough boring stuff, on with the gossip and innuendo that are the hallmarks of this column. At the beach in the same establishment by complete coincidence we bumped into Currencies Direct client Paul “Slash and Burn” Thornton Allan from The Big Picture and steely eyed and stunning wife Lisa with whom we are going to Cuba next month. Paul received his epithet after his willingness, no that is to weak, his excited determination mechanically to machete his way through the Valmasque forest with his chain saw after the recent snow had brought many branches down.

Anyway they joined us and The Cato’s, Gordon and Pauline whose birthday it was, on holiday from England and talking of crutches I think it was after the arrival of the ninth bottle of rose (well there were six of us) that the really stupid and tasteless ideas began to evolve. Why it was decided that when we leave for Havana we should invent and adopt alter ego’s for the trip and why that was so funny at the time is a mystery. Also mysterious is why Slash and Burn should invent for himself, how can I say this and it remain tasteful? Answer; I cannot. He decided he would pretend to be a “designer gynecologist”. Let me allow some moments of quiet contemplation before we sew this subject up for good. We had all started to consider exactly what form his mythical activities might take place in his new little world, all of it too graphic for my perception of what is acceptable to publish this column. Then I then began to think of what I could invent for myself and before I knew it I happened to say something about having a lot of fingers in a lot of pies, and there this ends, now.

The South of France English Theatre production of “Barefoot In The Park” moves to Cannes next Friday 2nd March at the Espace Miramar and tickets are available either from their website or at the door on the night. they have further dates in Cannes, Nice and Fayence.

After today its detox time. I have just been reviewing the events of the past few days and have come to the conclusion that rather a lot of drinking and partying has been occurring and the time is fast approaching when I shall have to slow down or hit the buffers. However, today is Sunday and the Reverend Jeff knows Sundays are set aside for drinking smoking and eating.

Chris France