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Barefoot in the snow?

February 21, 2012

My comment yesterday that the appalling, acrimonious, anal animal Banjo, the cocker spaniel which I did not welcome into the house had reached 33 kilos was incorrect, It seems according to his owner, that nice lady decorator,  he is in fact 36 kilos, that’s over 80 pounds of stupid cocker. So not fat at all then? and she gives me a hard time…..

Great news for the very few who have not yet purchased a copy of my book!, the guys charged with producing this most precious of volumes, the first edition of  it are running a promotion for which they are paying giving you a 30% discount on the price of a book! it’s almost worth getting a few copies for birthday presents and who knows, they may come in useful next Christmas. Just click here to order and you can order in Sterling if you like so that you can be sure of what you are paying, much like as occurs when one is a customer of Currencies Direct, an application form for which I can happily send you.

The warm sunny weather we are now experiencing is somewhat different from just a few weeks ago when I took this picture from my bedroom window. I have had enough snow now, roll on the warmer weather.

The winter wonderland of Valbonne a few weeks ago

A story has reached me about events leading up to and after the performance of “Barefoot In the Park” at the Pres Des Arts in Valbonne last week by the South Of France English Theatre Company. If anyone noticed fire engines and flashing blue lights in Valbonne village one lunchtime last week, I think I know the name of the culprit. In the chaos of the preparations for the first night performance, following a fire at their rehearsal studios and a broken down van transporting the set,  an hour before the doors opened the director noticed that there was no door handle on the main door of the set, so the carpenter was sent to find a door handle from somewhere and with no hardware shop nearby and no time to source a new one he took one off the door of the tiny windowless toilet (not one of the bedroom doors you note) in the flat they are renting in the village. This was at worst a little inconvenient but no more until a member of the cast, alone in the flat and dashing naked into the toilet the day after the second performance, found the door shutting on her locking her in whilst mid-ablution so to speak. Three hours later after her cries for help had been heard by a neighbour who had alerted the pompiers, she was released, still naked and now perspiring into the arms of the startled firemen who had rescued her. I am told although understandably traumatised, she will be sufficiently recovered for the next performance in Cannes on March 2nd.

The problem with having a few days off from the social melee that is the cocoon of the idle rich in Valbonne, is that nothing happens and therefore I have nothing to write about. I could always make it up and that would be keeping with what some people believe, however I contend that nothing is invented although the expression “terminological inexactitude” springs to mind. Another way of saying it was voiced by a diplomat in a court case in a spy case in a court in Australia a decade or more ago; when accused of lying under oath he denied it but did admit to being “economical with the truth”.

Chris France

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