Jacobs Creek?

At least I realised before I made the call to Apple to complain about my new Ipad camera not working. Every photo I tried to take was black, but luckily, before making that call I realised that the rather nice black cover was still on the ipad and covering the camera lens. It is a mistake which anyone with my limited affinity with technology will sympathise.

I have history when it comes to new fangled technology. My run in with the ipod reminded me of long ago when I took delivery of my first fax machine at my office in the west end of London in the early 1990’s. The delivery driver had to dash in and dash out being on a double yellow line before I had a chance to ask him how it worked. Cursing, I reached for the instructions, the first of which was to remove all packing tape. I ripped out all this white tape that was in the machine, plugged it in and didn’t work. I rang the supplier angrily who calmed me down and then asked me exactly what I had done and when I told him I had followed the instructions and removed the tape he said “there was no tape to remove, it was ready to plug in and use”. Then I could hear him holding the phone up to his amused factory audience and saying “so you ripped out all the control leads and now it won’t work?” I can still hear the huge guffaw that rang out around the factory.

I was also guilty of saying to my ex partner when he installed email into our office at around the same time “what a complete waste of time, I will never use it”.

Anyway, with further embarrassment narrowly avoided, and with the sun still shining brightly, that nice lady decorator suggested a walk along the coastal path at Antibes for where I took this picture of the short piece of the path that was open, much of it having been damaged in the storms in the autumn. As you can see there is a great deal of firewood on the shore line and indeed a number of people were busily collecting it in wheelbarrows and trailers. I suggested to that nice lady decorator that perhaps we should join them, but quickly formed an alternative opinion when I caught her eye.

Driftwood on the beach near Antibes

Later at home in Valbonne in the evening and with no social engagements for once (hurrah!) we were treated to the spectacle of the lovely Stacy Soloman, in intelligence terms several sandwiches short of a full picnic appearing on Celebrity Mastermind. The delicious prospect of the bubbly and vivacious Stacy, winner of various TV talent shows and “I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here” where she has constantly exhibited an endearing stupidity that seems to have struck a chord with the great British unwashed. She got off to a great start answering questions about The Inbetweeners TV series and film. I doubted that she would take the works of Keats as a subject and her chosen area of expertise suited her well. I am a big fan of the series and watched the film on Christmas day with my kids. Only people who have seen the programme can know who excruciating my teenagers found the experience.

Stacy’s classic answer came in the first question of the general knowledge section; “name the area of northern France famous for its sparkling wine” intoned John Humphries the presenter. After a little prompting the answer came; “Jacobs Creek?” A comic highlight of the Christmas season.

Chris France