Carrot faced smurfs?

I had been so gentle with him, after his revelations about his documented fondness for sheep but Steve Weston, a prime mover in the Regs, the Riviera Ex Pats Golf Society with his publication of a picture of me yesterday in my Kenyan made-to-measure lime green golfing outfit together with a disparaging, some may say jealously motivated comment, must now accept that the (kid?) gloves are off. It is amongst my most popular stories from the summer before last when Steve talked frankly about his love of sheep in front of an increasingly incredulous golfing gathering. I am sure today he is a little sheepish, particularly as long-suffering wife Nancy made a point of telling me at the weekend that she wanted a sheepskin coat for Christmas. Perhaps Steve should suggest he buy her a mink coat instead? That would at least rescue at least one lamb from the slaughter.

Yesterday to the sparsely attended Currencies Direct Christmas Market in a faceless building in the centre of Sophia Antipolis, the silicon valley of France. By that I do not mean that it is the implant capital of France,  a subject obliquely covered in yesterdays picture, merely that it is the home to a number of high-tech companies and although it must be a nice spacious and light place to work, it is so confusingly laid out that many of the potential customers are probably still driving around looking for the market, or still trying to find a  way out, a bit like Steve Weston. I managed to sell the princely sum of two books and swapped another for some bamboo socks, yes, socks made from bamboo fibres, supposedly very comfortable and as a natural fibre promised to be allergy free. Yes, I have been reduced to bartering to increase sales.

There was a curious range of Christmas goods on sale at this inaugural and I took this picture of well, what? There is a certain marked similarity to smurfs, but I have no idea why they should have carrots as faces.

Which one is papa smurf?

Yesterday I received a call from venerable Valbonne estate agent “Cubby” Wolf from Riviera Realty asking what he had to do to get a mention in this column. I suggested that as a Currencies Direct affiliate for some 2 years standing, him sending me a client might be a good starting point, but after he claimed to have no clients at present, I decided that him purchasing a copy of my book “Summer In The Cote d’Azur” would suffice. He agreed rather too readily ( I am not accustomed to soft sales) and then tried to avoid the moment of truth (payment) by saying he would probably see me some time over Christmas, but made the mistake of telling me he will be in his office in Valbonne this afternoon, so I will deliver it personally. It will be the 106th sale.

I will be in Valbonne for lunch courtesy of the English Book Centre chief librarian Lin Wolff who has generously invited me to their Xmas lunch at the newly opened La Pomme Rouge Deli in Valbonne, together with Matt Frost from French Mortgage Express who will as usual be accompanied by his carer, the even longer-suffering Viv Frost, the lady responsible for suggesting that this column could be adapted into a book. I will visit her in prison should the literary police ever take her.

The relative peace of the last few days will then be shattered when I collect that nice lady decorator and sprog 1 from the airport in the evening, I have hidden my beers but I know he will track them down with that dogged determination so lacking from his studies.

Chris France