Girls xmas lunch gets out of hand

“I have the length but I am not very accurate”, so said Dave”Tripe” Goddard at the REGS end of year golf tournament at the Grande Bastide yesterday. I asked him if that said a lot about him and his life style but answer came there none.

In the end, after I awoke feeling quite warm,  I girded my loins and reached for the lime green made-to-measure matching shorts and shirt ensemble that I had threatened to wear and resolved to play golf in it, in December.  A lime green triumph is how I would describe it however I suspect that I was in a minority of one.

There was another undeniable success story in that sales of my book “Summer In The Cote d’Azur” passed 100 as my hard sell tactics paid dividends (and me) and although one or two golfers managed to avoid me, or claimed impecunity, I know where they all live, so those not already in possession of a book, expect a visit soon.

A very good buffet lunch accompanied the prize giving at the golf club. The tradition at the end of season gathering is that everyone brings a bottle as a prize. The more well-heeled may bring a bottle of Tattinger or Crystal. The likes of me dig out a cheap Rioja and the winners get the first choice of the bottles, so being amongst the first to claim back a bottle is an incentive. I had my eye on a magnum of Haut Medoc 2006, but if I tell you that my reward was a 2010 vin de pays, I think you will be able to tell that I was seriously let down by my team. My thanks however must go out to financial advisor Mike Lorimer whose team was once again last, a tradition that has become established over the past three years. But for him my prize may have been the miniature bottle of egg nog. I suspect Paul Duffy may have been the culprit for this particular offering.

After a nice lunch I arrived back at home to find an impromptu girls Christmas lunch in full swing. By the time I got there they were all drunk and singing along to “Happy Christmas War Is Over” and “Merry Christmas” by Slade and dancing around. Eight girls, all of whom should know better, making an exhibition of themselves as my picture today shows.

Oh dear oh dear oh dear

How much of my wine do you think they had consumed by this point? Actually it was probably the Bailey’s to which they gravitated shortly before this picture was taken which was to blame. I think the highlight was Mellissa Graves singing “All I want for Christmas is You” whilst clutching at and gazing at a litre bottle of Baileys. Where is Jude Murray when you need her?

There are however certain rewards that are visited upon the only man in a crowd of drunken women, and I accept my debagging in the spirit in which it was intended. Once again the value of a skimpy lime green costume was underlined, I just wish I had considered the possibility of clean underpants before it occurred, or indeed and undergarments at all.

That nice lady decorator will depart for the UK today, so with luck a couple of quiet days will result.  I have laid in a supply of baked beans which are of course pulses, a vital ingredient in a healthy balanced diet, so I am sure you accept that I need to be congratulated for eating healthily.

Today after taking her to the airport, I will immerse myself in work. Currencies Direct will be wanting me fully to publicise the Sophia Antipolis Xmas fair on Tuesday. Work, work, work. It never stops.

Chris France