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New roller spigot?

September 13, 2011

I don’t like Mondays. As I write I am sitting in the skip, as that nice lady decorators 4 x 4 is known in our family, which smells disgusting. The reason I am sitting here is I am waiting for her, a regular pastime for me. The reason it is smelly? Because the depraved dull dog Banjo is also in the car, also waiting for her. Perhaps it was unkind of me to have parked the car in full sunshine and turn the air conditioning off but I am honestly a bit chilly.

I can still feel the effects of the magnum of Accrington Stanley Asti Spumanti yesterday we consumed at Peachy’s residence yesterday, which is playing havoc with my alimentary canal, scouring every crevice of my colon on its way to…..well you know, I do not need to go into detail. Monday is traditionally a recovery day and I am a traditionalist.

Plans are afoot to take Bluebell the VW camper van out for some camping next weekend at Castelane. It seems we will be accompanied by John “have you got a cigar” O Sullivan and his buxom wife (sorry Lin) Jude, the less than secret Baileys drinker. I am expecting to be asked to take a couple of boxes to the campsite for her. These will of course contain emergency rations of Baileys in case her own car load runs out whilst we are there, after all we plan to be there for two nights.  I shall also be expecting an assault on my traveling cigar humidor from the man who thinks it is taboo to enter a tabac.

I took this picture of women at work at the weekend whilst enjoying a mohito on Peachy’s terrace. It seems there was issue with the swimming pool mechanism, and as both Peachy and I have delegated all swimming pool duties to our respective wives, it was clearly their duty to ensure that the water was clean the pool functioning satisfactorily. It is so rewarding when one finds the art of delegation is so effective. And it must also be nice for the ladies to be able to please their men.

I think it needs a new roller spigot

A walk in the woods near Roquefort Les Pins was cut short when we saw a hunter out with a gun, and that nice lady decorator always believes I will do my utmost to get Banjo in their sights. This is as outrageous as it is true, but I had forgotten to bring the tennis ball for him to chase and as he speaks no English so did not understand my commands to run into the undergrowth. When admonished by his owner, that nice lady decorator, I claimed that I thought he would be safer in the undergrowth, but she remained unimpressed.

Today, as soon as the spelling errors in the short blurb about my book Summer In the Cote d’Azur are repaired, and incidentally for which I received a ferocious ticking off from Dawn Howard, my editor, I shall commence a marketing campaign based on no budget and pestilence. The pestilence will take the form of any and all of my friends and contacts being constantly harassed into buying it on Amazon.

Today I must commute into Cannes again for a meeting at the crack of 11am for my duties with Currencies Direct and Medina Palms, Remax-Cannes being in the unique position of being involved in both exciting areas. Thus no doubt exhausted from the daily commuting grind, I will return to do some lateral thinking in the hammock this afternoon.

Chris France

2 Comments leave one →
  1. Rev. Jeff permalink
    September 13, 2011 11:46 am

    Sure you know what day it is? Or is this your idea of lateral thinking?


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